Nothing Else Matters
by Sarakaroline8
Summary: "I feel like's he going to kill me any second. And sometimes I wish he would and just get it over with. I would rather die than live another day here." Sherry has now lived in Sanctuary for a whole year. Will she remain strong even being under constant watch from Negan? SEQUEL to Many Hearts to Tread.
1. Chapter 1

**AUTHOR'S NOTE – Welcome to the second book of Many Hearts to Tread! I hope you enjoy this section of the story. This is something I have put my heart and soul in so I hope you can read that through the pages! I put a disclaimer in the beginning of Book 1 where I state that I have taken many liberties with the character of Dwight in particular. Please understand that my interpretation of these characters aren't really trying to stay true to the comic book characters or their TV show equivalent. I wanted to do my own thing. Enjoy!**

Chapter 1

11 Months After The Events of Book 1

"_Name?" The man asked as Sherry stopped twiddling her thumbs and jumped at the man's voice. It was a frequent occurrence for her to meander in a daze while having zero thoughts in particular. She had been sent to that part of Sanctuary and was escorted by Yolanda. The reason she was in the infirmary talking to the mysterious man who sat before her, she didn't know. She glanced at her surroundings to see herself inside a nicely furnished room. She and the man were the only ones in the room. The thought made her shake with fear even though she didn't mean to. It had just become a habit of hers to be afraid all the time._

_The man in his mid-fifties had light short hair with steel blue eyes behind small glasses. Sherry observed that he dressed well with a button down shirt and noticed that there was not a single wrinkle. He looked untouched by the apocalypse. Even his character didn't seem entirely fazed by the trauma that seemed to plague everyone else. It was an appeal that Sherry found intriguing about him as he gazed back to her expectantly._

"_What's your name?" The man repeated in a kind voice that was nearly pleading with her to answer. He held a pen as a notebook laid on his lap. "Your full name."_

"_Sherilyn Anne Ciccone," Sherry relented in a less enthusiastic voice. She still had yet to understand why she was there. She wanted to gaze at the door behind her but didn't want to take her eyes off of the man in front of her. She didn't trust him yet. Nor did she know if she ever would._

_He looked puzzled and started writing down her name that she gave him. He handed her the notebook with an embarrassed smile. "Did I spell your name correctly?" He asked. It read, "Chick-onay."_

_She motioned towards his pen as the man handed it to her. She corrected the misspelled last name like she had to do a million times in grade school and then gave the pen and paper back to the man._

"_Excellent," the man said and looked at his notes before he moved on. "Sherilyn, do you know why you are here today?"_

_Sherry watched him with wary eyes but then shrugged at his question. "I honestly have no idea why I am here. Or really where here is. I have never been in this part of Sanctuary before," she admitted just above a mutter._

"_I am new to Sanctuary. One of the men in charge was aware of my occupation before things started to go south with the virus. I used to be a psychiatrist," the man explained as Sherry silently scoffed at his answer. She had cracked enough to receive a shrink. "That same person asked me to help you. Do you know why that person would ask me to do that?"_

_Sherry shrugged again quickly losing patience but knew he was stepping on territory that she would rather not talk about. "Maybe because my life is kind of fucked and talking about my problems will make it all magically go away," Sherry said sarcastically but with a small shaky voice. The man had no idea how many land mines he was going to step on before she became a blubbering mess._

"_I have been briefly informed about your unique situation in Sanctuary," Kevin informed. "Yolanda was kind enough to explain some things to me."_

_Sherry shot a look towards him as she felt her personal life had been unlocked for a stranger to see. It made her feel uncomfortable. "What did she say?" Sherry demanded._

"_Not much. She only said that your mental health has declined drastically since you have been here. And that your relationship with your husband has a lot to do with that," the man explained gently. Sherry's body relaxed upon the information as the man continued. "Sherilyn, how long have you been with Negan?"_

_Sherry looked up to the ceiling in thought. "Um, I have been here for an entire year."_

_The man sighed and laughed slightly. "Excuse my manners! My name is Doctor Kevin Mitchell." He leaned forward in his seat and stretched his hand out. The quick movement startled Sherry as she could only stare at his outstretched hand with uncertainty._

_Kevin smiled apologetically and sat back in his seat. "We don't need to be so formal. You can call me Kevin if you would like," he proposed. When she didn't reply he gave her a warm smile and went with an even more gentle approach. "Sherilyn, you are here for a reason. You know that, right?"_

_Sherry looked to him and wanted to cry. "Why?" She nearly pleaded. Talking about the things that had happened within the walls of Sanctuary and with Negan didn't seem like it would help at all. It brought heartache and misery to dwell on what her life was like._

_Kevin removed his glasses and looked to her with concern. "In my line of work, I have come across many people who were lost and broken. With these trying times, almost everyone seems like that. For good reason. We have all been through a traumatic experience. I have not had the privilege to sit down and talk to someone about their afflictions for some time now. Granted, there are so many things wrong in the world that I cannot guarantee fixing anyone's problems. Even before the world changed, I could never make that empty promise. But I can guarantee that it does feel better to talk to someone about certain things. So I ask you, Sherilyn, do you know the reason that you are here?" Kevin inquired as his blue eyes looked directly at her._

_Sherry tried to hold back a sob but it came regardless as Kevin handed her tissues that stood on the nightstand next to his armchair. Once she started crying, she felt that she couldn't stop. They continued while she thought of the many months in Sanctuary. The first month hardly even scratched the surface of the pain that she felt as she sat in Kevin's little makeshift office. It almost seemed too unbearable._

"_When you are ready, we can move on," Kevin suggested. "I am only here to help you, Sherilyn."_

_A few minutes passed as Sherry fought for composure once more. Kevin stared at her as she looked around the room. It was darkly lit but she could see that the place was merely decorated with the furniture that stood in the middle of it; a small couch that she sat, Kevin's arm chair, a nightstand, a coffee table and a large desk in the corner of the room. There was a medium sized photograph of red and yellow flowers in a meadow that hung to Sherry's right. Beyond that attempt of décor, the room was empty of any personal items._

_She took her eyes of the photo and stared at her lap. "I have gone by Sherry since I was a baby. You don't have to call me Sherilyn."_

_Kevin smiled as the tone of her voice seemed a good place to move on. "Great! I had an aunt named Sherry. Sweet woman," Kevin commented as he wrote down some notes._

"_What do you want to know?" Sherry questioned cautiously._

"_I want to know about your time here," Kevin said honestly. "As difficult as it is to talk about, it will help you heal some of the mental scars that have festered from surviving in what is now our dystopian world. You don't have to go into details if you don't want to. But always remember that I am your friend throughout this ordeal. All of what you say will be confidential. So you have been with Negan and have lived in Sanctuary for a year, you say?"_

_Sherry nodded with a weighted gloom. "One whole year."_

"_And when did Negan ask you to marry him?" Kevin asked innocently. Sherry eyed him as he thought to clarify. "One of the things Yolanda had told me about before meeting you."_

_Sherry scoffed. "He told me that I would be his wife the first day that I was here. He didn't ask," she elucidated._

_Kevin tried not to look surprised as he wrote in his notebook what she had just revealed. "Did that aggressive request and lack of respect make you harbor some bitterness towards Sanctuary and Negan?" He asked._

"_If that were all he had done to me, I would have considered myself lucky," Sherry said quietly while looking down at her hands._

"_Has he treated you unkindly?" Kevin asked as he leaned forward in his chair to look her in the eyes._

_Sherry suddenly felt bad for Kevin. Despite talking to someone about her personal calamity, nothing was going to change the environment that she found herself in. All the progress that Kevin hoped for Sherry wasn't going to do any good with Negan still around. She was slowly starting to trust Kevin. He was able to adapt to their new world in the way that seemed logical to only him. It was refreshing. However, it still didn't make any sense to her that Negan had requested that she speak to a shrink. Was her walking around like a dead person of any importance to him?_

_Sherry moved her hair to one side arched her neck for Kevin to see a large sized scar on the side. "This was when I tried to run away from Sanctuary after a month of living here. I was punished for it." Sherry sighed as she remembered being whipped by Negan over and over again. "Any time that I have been treated poorly it was because I did something wrong to deserve it. So to you it would seem that Negan was being unkind but to him…he is just maintaining his power in Sanctuary…and over me."_

_Kevin breathed slowly as he jotted in his notebook. Once he looked back up, he put his mouth in a tight line with apology on his face. "My first patient was a woman who was beat by her husband. Since then, I have gained a strong personal hatred for domestic abuse. Only because the mental state that this woman in particular found herself in was something we call traumatic bonding. In my time with her, she was living with her mother. However, after six months of supposed progress, she went back to live with him again. I have no idea what happened to her after that. I hope that she found her inner strength once more and continued with the progress that we started with. It wasn't my failure to help that made me hate domestic abuse. It was knowing that she felt she couldn't be strong enough on her own." Kevin put his notebook down on the nightstand beside him and surveyed Sherry's face._

"_Sherry, I don't believe that you have any unhealthy attachment to Negan. From the tone and the things that you have said already, I can tell that you are strong. You are trying to fight him. Most importantly, you aren't broken yet! But that inner strength, similar to my first patient, is slowly beginning to fade. That is what I want to work on. Even though we are stuck in this trench of a place, we can still be strong inside," Kevin said as he interlaced his finger together on his lap._

"_How do you suggest we do that?" Sherry tried to ask in a voice that didn't sound so defeated._

"_Talking about everything that has happened to you is a good start. I won't be able to help you if I don't know the whole story. But as you continue to reveal your experiences, I will give you some exercises to go over or we can discuss anything that seems confusing to you. Take a chance on me. Trust me. If you don't start feeling an ounce better after one session, then we can go our separate ways if you wish. However, parting ways will be very difficult for me," Kevin confided with another warm smile._

_Sherry looked slightly overwhelmed at the idea of talking about everything that had happened throughout the entire year that she had been in Sanctuary. She didn't know where to begin._

_Kevin seemed to understand the inner turmoil she had and spoke up. "Describe your first time meeting Negan."_

_Sherry nodded and tried to think back to what seemed like centuries ago. "When everything started going to shit, I was in Georgia. I was with two guys that went to the same college as me." She envisioned Haruki and Takuya's faces and went on. "From there, we kept on bumping into people on the road and that group made it to fourteen survivors at one point." She thought of Dean, the McCoy family, Hannah, Yolanda and Jenna…Dwight. "Two fell to walkers." Her mind flashed to two graves under a willow tree at the abandoned mansion. "After that, we kind of stumbled around without a destination in mind. We didn't really know that we were in Washington D.C. until after we came to Sanctuary. We camped out in the forest when Negan came to our group. He fooled us. He made it seem like he was a loner that just wanted a group to be a part of." She remembered how the atmosphere changed that night when she and Dwight saw him for the first time. It was in that moment that she wished she could reverse back time to never meet him. "Then we were surrounded by the Saviors brandishing knives and holding us at gun point._

"_Negan demanded that I drop my shotgun as he held a knife to my throat. I felt it my responsibility to protect my group. Most of them were just waking up and not prepared to defend themselves. Only two of us had our guns at the ready. I didn't listen to Negan. He threatened my life if I didn't put my gun down. He wasn't having progress with that route and instead jeopardized another woman in our camp. So I dropped my weapon to protect her." Sherry sighed. "No matter though. He ended up killing her anyways because I didn't discard my weapon. It was bullshit."_

"_I was knocked unconscious as my group was taken to Sanctuary. When I woke up, I was immediately informed of Negan's plans that I become his wife," Sherry stopped as words suddenly started replaying in her head._

"One day, I promise to make things better for you, Sherry. I promise," _Sherry heard a voice say in her head as she thought of that fateful conversation with Dwight. She shut that sentence out of her head and went on with her story. "If I didn't accept his proposition, he would kill the rest of my group and I would still be in the same predicament. So I felt inclined to accept his offer."_

"_And are your people still among us?" Kevin asked hopefully._

"_There are four left including me. When we came here, there were eleven. We all tried to escape but we were caught. We didn't want the children to go back to Sanctuary so we split up. The kids went with the McCoy family and the rest of us were forced to return to Sanctuary. I don't dare hope that they made it out alive. They had three kids with them," Sherry tried to stifle a sob that formed in her throat. She wanted to have faith that Terri and Jason made it out alive with the kids in tow. But her pessimism made it difficult to think they were alive._

"_So when they separated from your group, how many went back to Sanctuary?" Kevin asked._

"_Five," Sherry answered. "One was killed. One of the guys who went to college with me didn't try to escape Sanctuary. He ratted us out instead. Negan gave us the choice to kill him for betraying us." Sherry said ominously as her voice got quiet._

"_And did you?" Kevin asked, engrossed in her story._

"_Maybe it would make me feel better knowing that I didn't do it personally but a member in my group did. It was an unspoken but unanimous decision," Sherry finally said. She didn't know how much that moment weighed on her but to speak it out loud made her feel lighter._

_Kevin pursed his lips together and wrote down everything she said. "What is your relationship with everyone in your group that has survived? Are you allowed to see them at all? Have they provided you any source of comfort during your time in Sanctuary?" He asked._

_Sherry stared at the window and sighed. She shook her head. "I see Yolanda all the time. She has been a great help to me. But I am not allowed to see the rest of them," she said heavily as it was almost painful to say._

_Kevin looked at her quizzically as she started to shake visibly. "We don't need to discuss that right now if you don't want to. But I can already tell that is one source of sorrow that we need to get to the bottom of," he reasoned._

_Silent tears started falling down her face without warning. She quickly moved to wipe them away. "I did something wrong. I threatened the life of someone else only because it was my one source of happiness in this godforsaken place. I can't even look at him without feeling guilty for all the pain I have caused him." Her breaths started to come short and shaky as she tried to speak. Her thoughts were all blinded by the sight of Dwight. Memories flooded of when she saw him at his happiest moment then to his lowest moment. "And now we are under constant supervision. I can't go anywhere without Negan being somewhere near. I feel like he's going to kill me any second. And sometimes I wish he would and just get it over with. I would rather die than live another day here."_

_Kevin looked her in the eye again with an even deeper concern. "And I'm here to help prevent that thought process. We can find your own personal happiness. Even if it's a place that we have to dig deep inside. I want to help you find that place. Because where you find happiness, you can find hope. And hope is a precious commodity nowadays," he contributed and smiled benevolently. _

_Sherry glanced back at Kevin but couldn't retain eye contact for long. He in turn looked back to his notebook politely. "Let's leave the topic that you wish to avoid and just talk about it later. When you are ready. For now, let's talk about happy things. As a way for me to get to know you better. Also, I have a few questions that I just feel the need to ask for a professional standpoint. Have you ever seen professional help before?" He asked._

_She nodded her head slightly. "Back in high school, my mom took me to see a psychiatrist for an eating disorder," she disclosed._

"_Was that issue rectified?" Kevin asked as he took a glance at Sherry's fragile, scanty body._

_Sherry snorted. "If I were allowed to eat bigger portions now, I would. It's no longer a personal problem and when I did have an eating disorder, it was resolved fairly quick." Sherry could tell that she looked unhealthy to others. Even before the walkers, she didn't weigh that much but was healthy for her height which gave doctors no cause for alarm. Negan worried about all of his wives physical appearances and made sure to keep their food portions small so they wouldn't gain pounds. However, it was wearing on them mentally and physically._

_Kevin wrote down more notes and wore a quizzical brow when he gazed back up. "I fear that the lack of nutrition and your current trauma throughout the entire apocalypse has made you mentally unstable," Kevin interjected boldly. Sherry only shrugged because she couldn't necessarily disagree with him. "Signs of mental instability include a plethora of symptoms. So, if you wouldn't mind going over those with me so I can see where you at. There is the feeling of sadness. I think we have already discussed that one. Have you had the reduced ability to concentrate?"_

_Sherry thought of being escorted by Yolanda to Kevin's office and how she could hardly remember the walk there because her focus was entirely on nothing in particular. "You can put that down as a 'yes.'"_

"_Do you have extreme mood changes?" Kevin quizzed._

"_No, I'm always relatively depressed," Sherry said as a matter-of-factly._

"_Do you feel tired or have problems sleeping?" Kevin pressed further._

"_Yes and yes," Sherry replied._

"_Do you suffer from paranoia or hallucinations?" Kevin asked with slight trepidation. _

_Sherry thought to herself but already knew the answer. "About seven months ago, I started seeing my dad walk around Sanctuary in his police uniform. I could follow him around for several minutes and he would be there as clear as day."_

"_So 'yes,'" Kevin said and looked at all the things he had written down. "There are other things on the list of symptoms but I believe that your mental state is something that needs to be rectified. I think it's important that we discuss the things that I have said earlier only because it can prevent your mentality from spiraling into a worse state. Like I said, you aren't broken yet. We can find the switch in your brain and finally turn on the light."_

_Kevin seemed very hopeful about her. It seemed alien to her that anyone really cared about her at all. She had felt alone for so long. A spark of hope almost felt ignited inside of her but the rest of her tried to extinguish it so she wouldn't hurt worse than she did._

_Kevin's mood went from worrisome on her behalf to a lighter side as he smirked. "Where did you live before the apocalypse?" Kevin asked._

"_Chicago, Illinois," Sherry answered as she reminisced about her hometown. She was reminded of going to the museums with her dad twice a year and going to the Nutcracker with her mom at the Joffrey Ballet._

"_What's your favorite holiday?" Kevin questioned._

_Sherry snickered softly. Holidays seems so an inconsequential thing to her since nobody celebrated them anymore. "It _was_ Halloween."_

_Kevin smiled. "Why?" He inquired._

"_Candy, dressing up as something I wasn't, watching old movies with my friends and family. The classics."_

"_Like?" Kevin urged._

"_Pretty much any Alfred Hitchcock movie. But we watched _Psycho _every year on Halloween for parties. That was my family tradition," Sherry responded._

"_I'm a Hitchcock fan myself. I used to tell everyone that hadn't seen his movies that they needed to stop what they were doing and get cultured," Kevin remarked._

_Sherry found herself smiling. She used to think the same thing. However, her mind didn't feel it appropriate to smile so she snuffed it out and replaced the somber mask she'd been wearing over her face._

_Kevin saw her change of mood and smiled reassuringly. "You know, we don't have to talk about the incident but we could over the things that led up to it. Would you like to do that?" He suggested._

_Sherry sighed and clasped her hands together. "Not really. But I don't want to feel worse than I do now. Maybe it wouldn't be such a bad idea to talk about it."_

_Kevin smiled again. "Good! Talking about things that are difficult is progress! Never mistake it for something else! Begin where you feel necessary."_

_Sherry didn't even know where to start. Then as she contemplated all the major events that had happened in the last year, she knew there was only one person _to _begin with. "I haven't even said his name out loud in so long. It seems weird to talk about him now," Sherry began._

_Kevin waited as she sat in silence. Finally, she relented and sighed before she uttered his name. "Dwight," she revealed._

_Kevin looked to her with some recollection but shook his head at whatever popped in his mind. "And who is Dwight?" Kevin asked._

_Sherry was taken back to the time where they lived in the mansion and their time surviving outside of Sanctuary. Many times, she remembered seeing him full of life and laughter when their group had no choice but to brave the dangerous world. But Sherry always saw him smile every day as they lightly bantered each other endlessly. In spite of all the danger, they were happy. He was happy before. Sherry wondered if she would ever see that smile again._

"_Dwight is a member of my original group," Sherry explained. "Throughout the time we have met, we became close. Since we have lived in Sanctuary, Negan has asked him to do terrible things. Now he is Negan's right hand man. I don't really know if he is the same person I knew. And I understand why. Only because I am not the person I was when all of this started. It may not give him a pass for the things that he has done but it does for me. He's been through some disturbing things like the rest of us." Sherry explained. "I feel bad because he only does the things Negan tells him to do…because of me. He doesn't want me to get hurt. But because I don't see him, I can't let him know that Negan still hurts me regardless of what he does anymore."_

_Kevin didn't write down what she said. Instead he put all of his focus on her and the story she wanted to tell. "Does the incident start with him?" He asked._

_She nodded. "It all started with letters."_

**AUTHOR'S NOTE – Doctor Kevin Mitchell is a character that I have made up! I decided to start the story off by having Sherry remember it and revealing it so someone else in a personal setting. The story will sometimes go off in Dwight's perspective to see what's going on with him and what his thought process is. Anyways, that's the first chapter! Hope you enjoyed it as much as I enjoyed writing it!**


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

December 2010 – 2 Months in Sanctuary

Sherry woke up to hear delighted shrieks downstairs and could only assume it was Brittany upon seeing Negan. The outrageous noises didn't cause her any alarm as the joy behind the sound was more perverse than fearful. Sherry took the pillow underneath her and placed it on top of her head to mute voices of Negan and Brittany. It had been another month that passed since their arrival at Sanctuary. _Two months, _Sherry thought as she shook her head to wake herself up. _Two freakin' months. Surviving outside of this place was more bearable._

She looked around her room and saw Christy sill sound asleep in her own bed on the wall parallel to hers. Even though she hated the idea of being in a literal harem, she enjoyed the company of other girls versus being the only one. Even though she didn't want to wish her life on her worst enemy, she liked the group all the same.

Christy and Sherry locked their bedroom door every night for extra protection from the Saviors. Negan was known for picking one or two of the women for the night and would take them to his house while the other ladies stayed behind. Unfortunately, the other men in Sanctuary would use Negan's system to their advantage as they tried to sneak in unbeknownst to their leader. When the girls would tell Negan that was a recurring problem, he refused to believe them and would remind them that rape was against the code. As if the code always solved the problem and everybody abided by it.

The irritable moaning from downstairs continued as Sherry groaned from disgust. Many times her roommates in college would bring boys to their apartment and the same scenario would play out but the fact that it was Negan made it all the more revolting. They all learned to sleep through Brittany's early morning antics and to put up with her promiscuity. However, Sherry could easily admit to herself that she had a difficult time getting along with Brittany out of all Negan's wives.

She knew the reason was only because their survival instincts told them to endure in different ways. Sherry resisted Negan at all costs whereas Brittany tried to seduce him any chance she had. Sherry had a very difficult time respecting Brittany because of their differences. A lot of the other girls relented on Negan's advances due to his persistence and subtle threats. Including Christy who had grown to be her closest friend. Sherry, however, had yet to give herself to Negan. It was a personal success as she didn't want him to have the satisfaction of encompassing that part of herself that she would rather him not try to conquer.

She stretched as she sat up and could instantly feel the chill in the air. She stood up while trying to shake the sleepiness away as she could immediately feel something was different in the room. The room was colder than it usually was. Winter was starting to settle in the rural D.C. area. Perhaps it was the difference in temperature but she could hear the wind whistle as if a draft was blowing the cold air into the room. She viewed the window sill and saw a small sliver of space that indicated that it was ever so slightly open. She could have sworn that she closed the window weeks ago and that it hadn't been opened since. Christy constantly complained of the frigid weather so Sherry knew she couldn't possibly have been the culprit. Alarm started to sunk in as she realized the potential of someone trying to sneak into their room from the window.

She strode towards the window to close it shut but soon saw an envelope jammed in between the sill and the glass. The envelope said two words and Sherry felt an elation bubble up in the pit of her stomach as she recognized the handwriting immediately.

_For Sherry._

…

_Dear Sher, _

_You said that communicating via the window was too risky. I couldn't agree more but I'll be honest, these last couple of weeks have been very boring and lonely without talking to you. I need at least some form of contact with you to get some things off my chest. Not talking to you is worse than anything else in the world. I realize that I sound completely over dramatic but it's the complete truth._

_So if you get this letter through the window that means that I didn't die scaling the house. But I propose that we exchange letters by putting each letter in a bottle that is already stashed in the hedges between both of our houses. Please don't make me scale the house again._

_How are you? Are you doing alright? It would be an understatement if I said I missed you. I really miss you, Sherry._

_Do you ever think of where we would have been if Negan didn't stumble upon our group? I have been having a hard time falling asleep since I inherited the role as Negan's right hand man. I won't go into detail with the things that he has made me do thus far. I fear that your perception of me would change if you knew what I have done so I will continue with a façade if that's okay. No, that's fair to you, I realize that. However, I am not ready to tell you. I don't really want anyone to know._

_Needless to say, I have been having a difficult time falling asleep. I usually sit on the porch (you can thank me for there not being any unwanted visitors from Saviors recently). I'll light a cigarette and just try to fall into a different place. I think of where our lives would be if we never met Negan. Would we have found another community elsewhere? Would all of us still be alive?_

_What would we be like? This isn't talking about us as a group. I mean me and you. Would we have ended up together? I can't help but think of these things only to avoid what I have been up to presently with my duties in Sanctuary. Eventually these thoughts of all us as a group…as scared as we were living day to day among the walkers…sitting by a fire in the middle of nowhere sound more peaceful than what our lives have been like for the last two months._

_I don't know how we are going to get out of here. But one day, we will. One day, it'll be as if Sanctuary never happened to us. We may have lesser numbers than what we started out with but I swear we will make it out of this alive._

_I promise._

_Always yours, Dwight_

…

_Dear Dwight,_

_How are you? Are you doing alright? I know you asked me the same thing but I am more concerned about you than myself. I am doing okay!_

_Negan's advances haven't been as frequent as they were before. I think he feels somewhat guilty for slashing my back. And maybe for sticking me in this house with all the rest of the girls. I have been given the impression that he is avoiding me. I am 100% okay with this._

_I hate it here. My parents would be humiliated to know what my outcome has been throughout all of this. I mean, they would understand and know it wasn't really my fault or choice but if they knew… I feel like my dad would be charging those gates now and try to take Sanctuary on all by himself._

_Honestly, I have had a hard time sleeping myself. I will steal your idea of imagining what life would be like if we didn't stumble upon Negan's camp as well. For starters, everyone would be alive and together. Maybe we would have run into another abandoned mansion somewhere? Wishful thinking, but I miss that place. I could have lived there forever._

_You don't have to tell me what you have been up to. But I want you to be as honest as you can be with me. And by that, I mean that I want you to write how you are really doing. Don't put a brave face on and pretend that you are okay when you aren't. Otherwise, I think I might lose you._

_I want to believe that we will get out of Sanctuary sometime soon. I just don't want to get my hopes up, ya know? After last time, I don't want anyone else to die because of me. I don't think I could take it if another member of our group was killed._

_Sincerely, Sherry_

…

_Dear Sher,_

_Whatever way I come up with to get us out of Sanctuary, I will make sure that no one else in our group is killed. I will make sure the plan is fool proof. Don't lose faith, Sherry. We won't be here forever._

_Let's go on topics that get our mind off things. Tell me your whole life story before the walkers ever happened. Also, I have been dying to know something. The song that played in the car when we left the abandoned mansion? It popped up on the iPod and you changed it before it really got going. Why don't you like that song? It was a Paul McCartney song! Everyone likes Paul McCartney! Anyone who says they don't is a liar!_

_I'll tell you about myself in the next letter as long as you write about yourself first. So this letter is short. Your move._

_Yours truly, Dwight_

…

_Dear Dwight, _

_I was born and raised in Chicago, Illinois. My parents met at DePaul University. My dad lived in Chicago all of his life while my mom's hometown is in Marquette, Michigan. My Grandma Malloy still lives there and we would visit several times a year. We would just sit and relax on the beach of Lake Superior as we watched the waves roll in. I would give anything to be there now._

_We were an Irish-Italian Catholic family. It was just the three of us. I was their one and only baby._

_A huge part of my life was ballet. I did other dance genres but ballet was what I truly loved and I was good at it. I danced ever since I was two. I just knew at a young age that I would one day make a career out of it. I wanted to be a part of the Joffrey Ballet Company for as long as I could remember._

_That kind of made me choose UGA over local schools in Chicago. Since Joffrey was in Chi-town, I wanted a portion of my life to be outside of the city. Somewhere relatively quiet and away from my parents. It's not like they were suffocating me. They were just overbearing at times. Being an only child does have its disadvantages in that way. Plus, my mom didn't want me to be a dance major. She just didn't see how I could make a strong career out of it. It was a topic that caused a lot of friction in the house._

_Before the apocalypse happened, I was in my senior year of college. I was a month away from graduating! I would have moved back to Chicago and auditioned for Joffrey soon after._

_That's pretty much me. What about you? I want to know your whole life story. Give me everything!_

_Sincerely, Sherry_

…

_Dear Sherry,_

_I won't pretend that I am into ballet just to impress you but I wish that I would have seen you dance. Interesting fact but I also went to UGA and was in my final year of my Doctorate in Computer Science. You don't think we would have run into each other on campus, do you? Wouldn't that be something?_

_I grew up in Jefferson, Georgia. I had one older brother named John. He was always the moral compass for me. He would always get me out of trouble. Not that I ever got into much trouble but I feel if he lived longer, he would have been telling me what decisions I should make while we were in Sanctuary. It wouldn't have bothered me one bit. I would love his words of caution and foresight right now._

_As you know, he got bit and quickly died after that. I didn't let him change. I couldn't. After I laid him to rest, the next person I saw was you. I should count my blessings. I wasn't without a moral compass for long, I guess._

_My parents died in my senior year of high school. They passed away in a car accident. A semi-truck collided with them and the doctors said they died instantly upon impact. They didn't have to suffer. I moved in with my brother and his roommates while he was still in college. I remember those last couple of months of high school were miserable because everyone just gave me this look of pity. At the time, I didn't want the kindness and couldn't accept it. Don't get me wrong, I missed my parents every day but the sympathy almost made it unbearable._

_It was nice to start fresh in a place when I started college. A couple of my high school friends ended up going to UGA as well but it was a much bigger campus that I hardly ran into them. I was able to make new friends that didn't know about my parents. Hell, my new friends never even asked why the only relative that came to my graduations was John. I preferred zero questions._

_I am now able to talk about my parent's death openly. This will sound terrible but I am glad they died when they did. They didn't have to experience this new world. I feel better knowing that they don't have to deal with the things that we are facing. They are in a better place. While I won't profess to know exactly where that special place is, I know that any kind of afterlife has to be better than here._

_Maybe one day if we get out of here, we will take a permanent trip to Marquette, Michigan? Do you know what happened to your parents? I hope that isn't too bold to ask._

_Forever yours…Faithfully, Dwight_

…

_Dear Dwight, _

"_Forever yours, faithfully"…wouldn't happen to be quoting a song, would you?_

_Speaking of songs, you asked why I skipped "Maybe I'm Amazed" in the car that one day when leaving the mansion. I don't hate that song and I absolutely do not hate Paul McCartney. I skipped it because it brought back good and now painful memories. It was my parents wedding song. Every time that song played in our house, my mom would tear up while my dad would take her in his arms and dance with her as I looked on at the sight. Looking back, it's one of my favorite memories of them._

_My parents were actually heading to Marquette the last time I spoke with them. I hope they are okay. A part of me wishes that I knew of their outcome. The other part of me doesn't want to find out. I hope one day to drive up that direction to see if they made it. But what if they end up not even being there? I don't know if I could take that._

_I miss you. I'm glad that we are writing letter to each other again. It makes being here a little more tolerable._

_Good news is that my back doesn't irritate me as much as it used to. My…uniform…is kind of tight and bore into my wounds but now I can at least deal with it._

_Yours truly, Sherry_

…

_Dear Sher, _

_Sher…I'm sorry it's been a couple of weeks since my last letter. I don't really know what to say. Since working for Negan, I am becoming a person that I don't even recognize. I feel that it's finally taking a toll on me._

_You told me to be honest about my thoughts. So I will. Negan has me doing some pretty gruesome shit for him. I am not proud of the things he has made me do. I have a reason and a motivation to do the things I do but then I start to wonder what would happen if you knew about the things I have done to keep you alive...if you would ever speak to me again._

_You know of things I have done for Negan before. It hasn't gotten any better. I have terrorized people. I have tortured people. I have killed people._

_I slowly feel myself become numb to my actions. Slowly, they don't bother me as much as they did the day before. What's wrong with me?_

_I need to get out of Sanctuary. I don't have a plan yet but I will figure something out. For my own sanity, I have to._

_What's wrong with me?  
_

_Dwight_

…

_Dear Dwight, _

_I don't know what to say to make you feel better. I feel guilty that Negan is making you do this only to keep me safe. That's not fair to you. And I feel responsible for the pain that you are going through._

_You don't have to do this. I can try to survive on my own. I can't speak for Yolanda and Takuya but I will be okay. You should know that I don't think less of you because of what you are doing. You didn't ask for this life. You are just trying to look out for me. However, I don't expect it of you. Please don't lose yourself to Negan. Overcome it, Dwight. I know you can._

_Always yours, Sherry_

…

February 2011 – Four Months in Sanctuary

…

_Hey Dwight_

_It's been awhile since I have heard from you. Two whole months to be exact. I know physically you are okay. I see you walking around in Sanctuary when coming home after a long day and sitting on the porch with a cigarette (by the way, you never smoked before coming to Sanctuary; when did that start?). I know you are alive and well. I just want to know that you are okay._

_Are you okay?_

_Sincerely yours, Sher_

…

_It's me again…_

_Please answer me back. I know you are getting my letters because when I check the bottle, it's always empty and my previous letter is gone. Just let me know that you are okay._

_Sherry._

…

Sherry speedily stuffed the letter inside the bottle and placed it under her coat. In rapid fashion, she put her gloves back on her hands and let her fingers warm up again. Her "brothel" home didn't have a heating system that worked. The only house that had working heat was Negan's house. It led many of the women to stay at his house as much as they could to stay away from the cold. Sherry decided to tough it out as she refused to let Negan win any battle. She kept on reminding herself that it was February and that spring would come soon. Yet, February seemed to be the coldest month for the entire winter.

With the bottle firmly underneath her coat, she opened her bedroom door and hurriedly walked down the stairs. However, she stopped in the middle of the steps when she heard a noise from below. She assumed everyone was out and about around Sanctuary and that she was alone in the house.

Sherry heard a creak in the floorboards on the main floor again as she slowly tried to move her feet backwards up the steps. She attempted to be as quiet as she could so anyone downstairs wouldn't know she was there. She almost had a sixth sense who it was in the house and it made her insides squirm with distaste.

"Sherry?" She heard Negan say from below. She closed her eyes and sighed with defeat. Her plan of slowly making it back to her room as stealthily as possible was foiled.

He came into view at the foot of the stairs with his one dimpled smile hidden underneath his five o'clock shadow. "You've been avoiding me, girl? Haven't seen you in a while," Negan surmised as he leaned on the wall next to the stairs and looked up to her.

"You've been busy," Sherry said coolly as she did her best not to glare at him so it wouldn't be completely obvious that she despised him.

"Truthfully, I have actually been trying to dodge you," Negan admitted with eyes that read regret. "Is it okay if we talk for a second out on the porch? I have something I need to say to you." He started walking towards the front door, not even bothering to wait for a response.

Sherry paused as she exhaled long and hard as she eventually followed him with mild irritation but then followed him outside on the porch. The cold air hit her immediately as she quickly wrapped her arms around her middle. She could feel her message in a bottle in between her chest and coat. Her coat was big and bulky so it was unnoticeable but it rattled her to speak with Negan while the bottle was in her possession.

Negan leaned against the porch rail as he lit a cigar. He eyed her as she walked to the other side of the porch and sat on the swing. He took a couple of puffs while she looked everywhere around her except at him. He hadn't spoken to her much since she moved out of his house. She didn't know why nor did she care for the reason behind it. She started to feel discouraged that the conversation they were about to have would open a portal for them to talk on a regular basis again. Sherry had enjoyed the solitude while it lasted.

"How's your back?" Negan questioned. Sherry could hear the sincerity behind his words but ignored it. His words would only be empty whenever it was convenient for him to forget he cared.

"It's better," Sherry said shortly.

He shuffled his foot back and forth on the porch slowly moving fresh snow with his show. He took another puff from his cigar and slowly let out a flurry of smoke mixed with his breath that hit the cold air.

"Shit," he said with a chuckle after a moment of silence came between them. "Sherry, I wanted to say that I am sorry. I am really bad with apologies but I felt I had to do right by you and at least try." He looked awkwardly at the ground beneath him with some humor behind his eyes that Sherry couldn't miss.

"Doing right by me?" Sherry asked as she gawked at his nerve. She had to refrain every fiber in her being to raise her voice. "You haven't cared to do right by me before. Why start now?"

He stared at her with confusion evident on his face. "What the fuck do you mean by that? You have a house, a bed, and get whatever food we have lying around. A little gratitude wouldn't hurt," he said with his mood slowly deflating.

Sherry could have complained about how their house didn't have heating and how the roof leaked water constantly. She could have also complained that their meals were significantly smaller than other portion sizes in Sanctuary. Christy told her that she had overheard Negan say to the men that he wanted to keep his women skinny. The knowledge didn't infuriate Sherry. If she had a higher opinion of Negan, it probably would have.

She continued to stay silent as Negan looked away towards the street while trying to vent his anger from bubbling to the surface. "Sherry," He began. "Like I said, I am bad at apologizing. But I would be honored if you accepted the apology regardless. You didn't see your back that night. I was angry and upset that you would try and leave me. I kind of lost it and took it out on you. I didn't mean to hurt you the way I did. All I saw was red when I knew you escaped." Negan conveyed while fumbling through his words, visually troubled. Sherry didn't feel any pity for his discomfort nor was she in the mood to accept his sorry excuse of remorse. However, she knew that wasn't what he wanted to hear so she feigned a small smile but inside she was confident that she would never forget his wrong doings.

"I accept your apology," she said but her voice sounded hollow and void of any emotion.

Negan grinned happily as he walked towards her with his hand outstretched for her to take. She did so with trepidation as he embraced her in an awkward bear hug. He didn't seem to mind it and held onto her tighter as time went on while her body tensed up with one hand over her chest so he wouldn't feel the small bottle in between them.

"The men and I will be going on a run for a couple of days. I have your Asian friend watching the house while we are gone. I heard Kent bragging to the other men that he would sneak into the house at night. So it's probably a good idea to have a guard around for you ladies," Negan explained with a warm smile. Sherry could only wonder why he wasn't apologizing for believing his wives before when they expressed the fear they lived with nearly every day.

"I'll miss you, honey," Negan said as he kissed her forehead and walked off the porch towards the front gate. Sherry gazed around Sanctuary while the snow fell peacefully on the ground. A lot of men worked tirelessly to expand the fence to circle around the mill that would serve as their watch tower. A couple of people wandered around Sanctuary with a purpose in mind as they kept their heads low and faces burrowed into their scarfs to ward off the cold.

As Sherry looked upon the community, she sighed with frustration that it couldn't be a better place to live. She felt drained knowing that Sanctuary was the only community that her group had seen. She wanted to hold out hope that there was something beyond Hilltop and Sanctuary. A place where they could one day seek solace. But the hope almost seemed as painful as the absence of the paradise she dreamed of.

Not wanting to dwell on it any longer, she stepped off the porch and walked to the hedge that divided both her house and Dwight's as her shoes pressed against the fresh powder of snow. She looked around to see if anyone was within eyesight and could see no one. Satisfied with the feel of secrecy, she took the bottle out of her coat and tossed it in the middle of the bush.

She heard the crunch of snow that sounded to her left and looked up in alarm just in time to see Dwight standing twenty feet away from her. He paused as every muscle in her body froze.

Dwight appeared relatively the same except Sherry could see the desolation in his eyes. To her, he seemed exhausted and absent of spirit; almost a shell of his previous existence. Something that Sherry felt echoed within her own well-being.

She didn't know what to say or what to do as he was blocking her way of leaving the narrow passageway. Sherry felt a lump form in her throat and wished to leave where she was immediately. She couldn't stand to see him look like that any longer.

As she started to walk towards her house, she quickly brushed past him in an attempt to no longer feel the neglect that she had felt from the absence of his letters. Sherry felt she could suffocate from the sorrow she felt from their current impasse.

"I…" She suddenly heard Dwight say as she turned around with expectant anguish. His body wasn't facing her but his head was turned to the side so she could hear him. "I know that you don't expect me to fight for you, Sher. But I hold myself accountable for what happens to you." He then turned to face her as his eyes read a true penance versus the apology that was given by Negan only a few moments before. "You are all the matters to me anymore. I need to do what I can so that I don't lose you."

Sherry unsuccessfully fought back tears as they fell quietly down her cheeks upon hearing him say that. "Will I lose you in the process?" She whispered.

She could see some tears sting his own eyes as he blinked several times and looked to the snowy ground beneath. He sighed heavily as she could see his breath form as his exhale met the wintry air.

As if Dwight no longer cared about putting on a charade, he suddenly around him to scope his surroundings before he started walking towards her with purpose. He put a gentle hand behind the base of her neck and leaned down to kiss her swiftly and passionately on the lips. The houses blocked them from most everyone's view but the kiss seemed dangerous all the same. He quickly broke it apart and looked at her in the eyes for several seconds. "You won't." He walked away hurriedly and didn't turn back.

Sherry felt her heart warm despite the brisk weather as that was the first encounter they had together since their escape. The fervor gave her a small since of belief that the old Dwight was still in there somewhere. She sighed and wiped the tears from her eyes as she said a small prayer that Dwight would be alright. _If any of us deserve a better life, it's him, _Sherry thought as she trekked back inside of her house.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

_Whack! _Dwight swung his machete at a walker's left arm is the limb fell to the ground. Dwight took another blow at the walker's right arm as it followed suite to the forest floor. The walker snarled at him viciously as Dwight took a deep breath and stared cautiously at the undead being's face as it grinded and gnashed its teeth. _I'm starting to think you had it lucky, _Dwight thought to himself.

Dwight took a final and tenacious swing to the walker's legs as the soulless creature fell flat on its back while it howled the whole way down. Satisfied with his work, Dwight looked around the forest in a frenzy but sheathed his machete upon seeing no more walker's to fight. He reached behind his back to retrieve his crossbow that was firmly strapped across his shoulder. He watched as other Saviors searched around the area for more walkers and signaled for several of the men to collect his walker that he had finished for the Sanctuary's gate. As he ambled away to lean on a nearby tree, Dwight looked on as the men picked his walker up and headed to the truck filled with other walker parts. With the new addition to the fence encircling around the mill, Negan insisted that they need more camouflage for the expansion. Dwight didn't argue with the cleverness of Sanctuary's security system. It was the other methods of survival that the Saviors took a part in that he wasn't in favor of.

Negan's men weren't just on the lookout for more "fence parts." Negan also wanted more people for an army by any means necessary. Which could only mean that if the Saviors discovered a group, they would be forced to follow Negan or regretfully become a part of Sanctuary's fence.

One time when they were scouting, Dwight saw a small group of three before the other Saviors caught wind of them. Dwight motioned for them to run the other direction. They did so but a week later, he saw that same group of people at Hilltop. He couldn't decide whether he helped them or sealed their unfortunate fate. They were still under the heavy taxes of the Saviors.

Dwight sighed as he reached for a cigarette and lighter in his pocket. _Dear Sherry, I started smoking when I realized I wasn't that scared of getting lung cancer, _he thought to himself in response to Sherry's questioning in her letters. _Also, when someone offered me a smoke, it was only ten degrees outside._

"Orlich!" Someone shouted. He turned to see it was Seth who was beckoning Dwight to come over. He saw several other Saviors circled around an object that he couldn't see clearly in the dim light as the sun started to set. "Get your ass over here!" Seth called again as Dwight sauntered over with little to no enthusiasm in his step.

As he got closer, Dwight saw the item of interest. He saw the Saviors circled around a dead deer. He observed it to see that it died fairly recent and didn't see any signs of bloating. Dwight still looked at it skeptically and wasn't the least bit appetized by it.

"What do you think?" Carson asked. With horn-rimmed glasses and a skinny build, Carson wasn't the most intimidating person. He didn't seem like the kind of person that wanted to be in Negan's band of miscreants. Dwight liked Carson because of their mutual distaste for what happened among the group of Saviors.

"Check for bites," Dwight stated the obvious and took another inhale of his nicotine. The men observed the deer closely as they turned the deer over and mutually gasped with disappointment. There was a walker bite near the rear of the corpse.

"Come on, guys," Dwight grumbled. "We aren't that desperate yet. We don't know how long that thing has been like this anyways."

"We were hoping the cold weather may have preserved it," Seth mumbled in defeat.

"What's this, gentlemen?" An obnoxious voice called from behind them. Dwight grunted with discontent as he knew the voice before he even saw the sorry excuse of a man. Negan approached them and threw his arm over Dwight's shoulder in a friendly manner as he looked to the deer with excitement. "Ah! You guys found Bambi's mom!" He exclaimed but saw the expression on everyone's face. "I'm guessing it's contaminated?"

Everyone nodded. "We want some meat!" Seth complained. "It's been weeks since we have caught decent game!"

"Calm the fuck down, Seth," Negan muttered under his breath. He looked at Dwight's cigarette in his mouth and nodded towards him. "Hey! Got another cigarette to share, my friend?"

Dwight gave him the side eye but pulled another cigarette out of his pocket with a lighter then handed them both to Negan. Negan took it greedily from Dwight's hands and lit the cigarette in a hasty manner. Dwight rolled his eyes in response and stepped away as he noticed his patience was always tried whenever Negan was in close proximity.

Without warning, they heard a loud explosion that resonated throughout the entire domain of the backwoods. It almost sounded like a bomb went off as Dwight crouched down low to cover himself as best of he could. The other Saviors did the same as they watched and waited for another sign of life.

Silence befell as the Saviors tried to stay as still as possible to hear any follow up noises that could have been connected to the blast. Dwight situated his crossbow on his back again as he nodded to Carson to throw a rifle his way. Carson stood up slowly and reached into the truck beside him and threw the gun while Dwight caught it effortlessly.

"Anyone have an idea where that came from?" Dwight heard Negan whisper behind him.

"It sounded like it came from the road up north," Carson said without hesitation. Dwight looked to Carson in question but realized immediately what he was doing. He was trying to steer Negan away from where the actual explosion took place. Carson was potentially saving a group from the Saviors.

"No. No, I think it came from the east over that hill," Seth said as he crawled to an open meadow area nearby to scope in the clear. He exclaimed a cheer as he pointed. "I was right! Look, boss! Smoke!" He barked. He stood up to point at the smoke rising above the tree line.

"Shut up, Seth!" Negan whispered angrily as loud as he could. "Do you want to tell the whole world we're here?"

Seth walked back to the rest of the group with a crestfallen face like a dog that was just reprimanded by his master. Dwight smirked at Seth's embarrassment. He didn't care that much for men like Seth.

"Alright, men! We will start marching in that direction," Negan ordered quietly. "When we get closer, we'll spread out and surround them. You know the drill."

Dwight stood up straight while throwing his cigarette to the ground and lightly stepped on it to extinguish the cooked bud. Dwight glanced up to see Negan approaching him as he tried to hide the annoyance as best as he could. "You ready?" Negan asked Dwight.

Dwight looked down to the snow and back up trying to hide the fury that he felt towards Negan. He feigned disinterest with a shrug. "As I will ever be," Dwight retorted under his breath.

"Someday you will see that what I do for Sanctuary and the Saviors is for the greater fucking good. Everyone is fed. Everyone has shelter. What more do you fuckers need, nowadays?" Negan asked with mild humor in his voice.

_Freedom, _Dwight thought. He knew expressing that statement out loud wouldn't make a world of difference.

…

The men started walking in the same direction that the smoke had come from. The fire that the smoke came from was still going strong as they continued their trek even after darkness crept over the land around them. Dwight decided to take up the rear of the group with a slower pace. Everyone else seemed to be blood thirsty. Negan's attitude seemed to spread like wildfire. All the men were as power hungry as he was with Negan's promises of ruling the new world. Most of the men wanted to take part in that supremacy. The other Saviors just kept their mouths shut so as not to trouble Negan. Everyone knew going against the Negan would only lead to their death.

Dwight looked down to watch his steps as they trekked through the forest. He hated being alone with his thoughts and memories to haunt him. His mind would seem to carry on past moments that were nagging him the most. He would sometimes let those moments replay in his head to let the emotion take control only so he could feel human again. Except the memory that played in his head as he walked behind the Saviors were the instances where he ceased to be untouched from the world. It was where he became the monster that he had become.

_Dwight stood outside of where they kept Sherry in Sanctuary. They had only been there for a couple of days and Dwight hated it. He already had the conversation with Negan about what his intentions were for the group. Negan had planned to manipulate everyone to do as they were told as he pitted them against each other. If the group fell out of line, one of the members would meet their doom._

_He had Dwight in his snares already. Negan knew Dwight's weakness before he even met him as he was spying on the conversation that Dwight and Sherry were having before Negan invaded their camp. Negan knew that Dwight cared for Sherry on a deeper level than friendship and that he would literally do anything to keep her safe._

_He paced the hallway outside the room that she slept in. Several times, he opened the door to peek his head inside to see her still asleep. Each time that he checked on her, he couldn't help but linger his gaze before he left the room. She hadn't woken up since the night they were taken by the Saviors. As painful as it was to hope for something so somber, he almost hoped that she didn't wake up from her near lifeless state. She would finally be free from the torment that she felt in the world and wouldn't have to deal with the impending sorrow that Negan would bestow on her. As much as it pained Dwight to think about it, he knew it was in her best interest to just let go._

_Dwight closed the door once more as he knelt to the ground and started to pray. He had only gone to church a handful of times when his mom dragged him and his brother along yet he decided to clasp his hands together and pray that Sherry would die on that bed. Even if it meant that he would never be with her and that he would be alone in an already lonely life._

_Then he heard the sound of weeping on the other side of the door. Never had Dwight felt so torn in his life. He was thankful that she was alive but at the same, he had to go in her room and unwillingly take her soul away. He was the one that had to tell her about Negan's plan to use her as a pawn to keep everyone in check._

_Suddenly, he didn't feel anything. Any emotion. He knew what had to be done. Even if it was the hardest thing he had to do. When he heard her sobbing stop, he stood up and put his hand on the doorknob and waited. He couldn't work up the nerve or heart to tell her. He rested his head on the doorway. _You have to do this, Dwight, _he said to himself. _It's the only way your group can eventually get out of here. _With that, he opened the door._

"Lost in your thoughts?" Negan said in front of him. Dwight stared at him with mild hostility as Negan only smiled and motioned Dwight to follow him. "Move on up to the front, Dwight. I need you there."

Dwight groaned with aggravation. He trailed behind Negan to the front of the line and walked beside the man with the barbed wire baseball bat. The sun was beginning to set and they were getting closer to where the smoke still billowed.

"Are you sure that you're ready for this, compadre?" Negan asked while glaring menacingly towards Dwight.

Dwight didn't respond as he knew what Negan was referring to. The last time they stumbled upon a group, the Saviors surrounded them with the cover of the night. Much like they did to Dwight's group from what seemed like ages ago. Negan gave orders for Dwight to shoot the man who was on night watch for his group. Dwight hesitated and tried to tell Negan that he couldn't do it. Negan wouldn't listen to his plea on behalf of the man's life. _"You'll do what I ask. You know what the consequences are if you don't," _Negan said to him that night. Dwight immediately thought of Sherry as he lifted his crossbow to aim at the innocent man as he pressed down on the trigger. The man slumped to the ground with a bolt protruding from his collar bone.

"Meh, I don't blame you. But you gotta learn that this is the way life is now. The strong survive while the weak are weeded out. Soon you have to figure out which one you are, Dwight," Negan explained. "Are you one of the strong ones that lives throughout all of us? Or are you fucking weak?"

Dwight shook his head as he didn't want to engage in a discussion with Negan. However, if Negan kept on rambling, he would eventually brag about spending time with Sherry. It was one of his favorite things to do only to try and get a rise out of Dwight.

"Think we are nearly finished with recruiting more Saviors? We have more than a hundred men. I would think that would be sufficient enough for an army," Dwight pointed out. "The more people we have, the more food we have to scavenge and grow from our crops."

"That's what Hilltop is for," Negan said assuredly. "They'll provide for us because they don't have any other choice."

"They haven't always been the best at their job," Dwight replied frankly. He didn't mean for it to sound like he was throwing Hilltop under the bus. He actually thought they did the best they could without guns to defend themselves. All they wanted to do was survive the wrath of Negan. However, some weeks they had fallen short of their duties. Dwight was always the one that had to make an example out of the people that Negan held responsible for the short comings. Without a doubt, it was his least favorite part of his job.

"Those fuckers will never learn, will they?" Negan muttered with disappointment. "You think they would get their act together."

Dwight thought about the man that he met in the court house when he was being tortured for trying to escape Sanctuary. The man named Paul Monroe. Dwight made a compromise with Negan that he would work for him on the condition that he would let Paul go free. Paul, who to Hilltop Colony referred to him as Jesus based on his similar looks, was now an integral part of Hilltop and was their security. He was almost their only security. Without him, Hilltop would have died out a long time ago. Every time Dwight saw him at their small community, they would exchange a look of recognition and mutual respect. But Dwight could see that high regard leave Paul's face whenever Negan had Dwight make an example of a member of Hilltop.

Negan shook his head as he looked at Dwight's demeanor with disappointment. "It's a tough business to live, nowadays. We have to make the fucking tough decisions. It's about time that you learn there is no other way around that harsh reality. Fuckin' man up and smell the coffee," Negan marched ahead as he left Dwight to walk several feet behind him. _I guess the conversation is over, _Dwight thought.

Dwight looked around at the other Saviors and spotted Takuya walking on the other side close to the front. He couldn't read any emotion on Takuya's face but already knew that was the look he made when he was drained. Dwight sauntered over towards Takuya who then glanced at him with a distant smile.

"How are you holding up, brother?" Dwight asked. Dwight's relationship with Takuya didn't gain traction until a couple of months ago when Takuya's best friend, Haruki, betrayed them. Since that day, the two men and Yolanda formed a bond that they otherwise wouldn't have had if they didn't end up living together in the same house.

"I am alright," Takuya answered unconvincingly. "You?"

Dwight shrugged. "What is there to say?" He replied dishearteningly.

Takuya looked both directions of him to see if anyone was within hearing distance then locked his gaze on Dwight. "We can't keep living like this," Takuya muttered only for Dwight to hear. "We need to find a way out again."

Dwight spoke often about escaping. For the last several months, nothing entertained his thoughts more than formulating plans to find the flawless breakout. Yet, every idea seemed thwarted by the amount of Saviors that they were up against. His optimism was waning as he chuckled coarsely at Takuya's notion. "Remember what happened last time when we tried to escape?" Dwight asked in disbelief. "Your nails are just barely starting to grow back regularly. And how's your arm, by the way?" Each group member was tortured by different methods when they were dragged back to Sanctuary. Takuya's special torture mode was having each of his fingernails removed one by one. Then when the survivors were all brought into the same room, Negan took the liberty of stomping on Takuya's arm with all the force he had as the bone protruded out of his skin. Luckily, Sanctuary had doctors with extensive backgrounds. Takuya still had to have a sling for the healing limb.

Takuya huffed in defeat. "It's always worth a shot. We can't lose hope. This can't be what our life will be like forever."

Dwight shook his head. "As much as I want to believe that we could get out of this shit hole, I have other things to worry about in the meantime," Dwight reminded. He could almost feel the physical weight of his group member's lives resting on his shoulders.

There was a pause as Dwight could see Takuya's mind thinking whether or not he should say what was on his mind. "Sherry will be safer outside those gates."

Dwight inhaled sharply as his nostrils flared. What Takuya said was the truth yet Dwight's inability to keep her protected hit a nerve. "Did you forget what happened to Dean? To Haruki? God only knows what happened to Jason &amp; his family. There are only so people left for Negan to take a swing at now," Dwight said as he thought of Dean's demise with Lucille. "Literally."

"How many people have you killed since we tried to escape, Dwight?" Takuya countered back. Dwight could lose his temper with Takuya all he wanted, but Takuya wasn't to be intimidated by his friend.

Dwight looked around the forest to avoid Takuya's eyes that glared at him. "I don't know," he muttered under his breath.

Takuya scoffed at his answer and shook his head. "Liar."

_Fifty-six, _Dwight thought. He had remembered every single kill.

Takuya continued, "One of these days you are going to snap. You won't be able to take anymore. I hope it's sooner than later so your kill count doesn't get any higher."

"Oh, like your record is squeaky clean, Tak," Dwight fought back to point out Takuya had his own kill list. "Don't preach to me that I am in the wrong when everything that I have done since we ended up in this fucking pit was for our group. Maybe my soul is damned for life but I have never once thought of myself for months. It has always been for the group!"

Takuya heaved another sigh when Dwight was becoming more agitated. That was his signal to let Dwight know the battle was over. They could argue all they want, but both understood they were each doing the best they could. "I don't mean to preach," Takuya said calmly. "I just don't want you to sink into misery. It's like you have told yourself that there is zero chance of escape. You should always keep looking for something better. Don't give up on us. You may not be the leader of the Saviors but you have made the biggest decisions in our little group alongside Sherry. You are still _my _leader."

Dwight looked apologetically to Takuya and regretted raising his voice to one of his only allies. "I'm sorry. I have just been on edge lately. I get so irritated with everything lately. I didn't mean to act so offended. I knew you didn't mean it like how I interpreted," Dwight offered in apology.

Takuya smiled half-heartedly. "I understand. We cannot lose ourselves in the fight. The war isn't over yet."

"You're starting to sound like Dean," Dwight joked. Dean was always the person who would say philosophical words of wisdom. Takuya grinned more at the thought with admiration towards their group's late moral compass.

They saw that Negan put his hand up for his men to halt. Negan turned to the men. "I see the group's campfire in the distance. Let's wade out here for a little bit and make our attack in a few hours to scope how many men and weapons they have," Negan said in a harsh whisper.

Some of the men in the back were unable to hear Negan's whispers and proceeded to act rambunctious. Negan looked annoyed and glanced in Dwight's direction with a single nod.

Dwight turned around to view the five men that were causing a small riot. He rolled his eyes and started loading his crossbow. "Sixty-one," Dwight said once his first bolt was loaded and it aimed it at one of the men.

"I knew you didn't lose count," Takuya said sadly as the first bolt took off in the direction that the men were still conversing in. It hit one man's skull as he sank face first into the snow while the other Saviors in their group looked to Dwight with a sense of dread. They knew Dwight was Negan's most lethal assassin and were terrified that Negan set his sights on them.

…

They were protected under the cover of night as Negan's men descended on the group of twenty. They slowly surrounded the camp and waited. Negan and Dwight crouched down low as they observed from a distance. "These men are armed and heavily guarded. Looks like they have been through the grinder and aren't taking any chances," Negan seethed but smiled regardless. "This looks like it will be a challenge."

"What is your planned tactic then?" Dwight asked as he continued to stare at the camp as some men walked around and were conversing with each other. Little did these men know that their lives would change in a matter of minutes.

"We can't go in there guns a blazin' this time around. We need to play politics. Earn their trust. Then later we earn their fear," Negan said as he handed Lucille to Dwight. "Stash this somewhere. We don't need to look barbaric just yet." Negan looked to the other men around them as Dwight held the rusted Lucille with only his index finger and thumb, repulsed by the bloodshed it symbolized. "Send Takuya &amp; Carson to the camp. They look the least threatening."

Dwight glanced over to Takuya and Carson who were both sitting a couple feet away conversing with each other. Dwight waved his hand to get their attention and motioned for them to come over.

"Care to step out in the open to greet our new friends?" Dwight asked the men when they crawled over to meet them. They looked to each other and shrugged a reply assuming that they didn't have the option to argue.

Dwight nodded as Negan kept his eyes on the camp. "Alright then. We are going to surround this area." He gestured to Negan and himself. "We'll be on that hillside. Signal us when you think they have let their guard down or if things go south. We'll take care of the rest," Dwight instructed.

Negan huffed in disagreement as he shook his head and gave doubtful looks towards Takuya and Carson. "I don't know if I trust these two with that ask on their own." He gave Dwight a once-over and grabbed Lucille from Dwight. "You're going with them."

Dwight groaned as he would rather be on the sidelines at least once during their ambushes. He looked at Takuya and Carson then towards the camp with regret. Negan only wanted him in the camp for one reason. Dwight sighed as he knew his kill count could possibly reach over seventy that night. "Fine," he grumbled.

…

Carson, Dwight, and Takuya walked the rest of the distance towards the camp and slowed their pace as they made their way into the open. The men who were on guard in the encampment spotted them and raised their guns to indicate that they didn't want them to move any further. The three men put their hands up in unison as the new group cautiously approached them.

"Drop your weapons!" A man ordered them in a harsh whisper. Immediately, Dwight could tell from the man's accent that he wasn't American. Takuya and Carson looked to Dwight to see what he wanted them to do. Dwight nodded his consent as they all started unloading what they had on the ground. They wanted to appear like they had defended themselves for a lengthy amount of time but didn't want to be armed to the teeth.

The man pointed to Dwight with his gun. "Are you in charge?" He inquired in a warning tone to let Dwight know that he was in a precarious situation if he didn't answer favorably.

Dwight nodded in reply. "I make a couple of decisions here and there. What about you? Are you in charge of your group?" He questioned as the man stared at Dwight to figure out whether his inquiry was innocent or riddled with other intentions.

A couple of the group's members started stirring in the camp as they saw their guard talking to strangers. They started to gather around with curiosity with weapons drawn at the ready.

"No!" A man yelled near the campfire. "I'm in charge." He had to be around Dwight's age but had a bulkier build to his body with jet black hair. He walked in front of the guard who still pointed a gun towards Dwight's heart. "Mati," He said to the non-American as he motioned for him walk towards Dwight's team.

The guard named Mati had dark skin and kept his brows furrowed as he just looked intimidating. The man who was supposedly in charge was beefy but Mati looked to match both his strength and Dwight's height. The shorter man with jet black hair knelt down in front of Dwight and started patting him down from the legs up. Mati finished inspecting Carson first and proceeded to pat down Takuya.

"What's your name?" The man in charge asked Dwight.

"Dwight. Yours?" He asked in return as the man finished his pat down.

"Richard," the man said in a somewhat friendly voice as Mati retrieved their weapons that were on the ground. "Now we have a couple of procedures. We don't trust you so we are going to bind your hands while we ask some questions. That's just how we do things. I'm sure that you understand." Richard didn't particularly wait for a response of protest as his men started to immediately hold Dwight's hands behind his back. Dwight could feel rope being tied around his wrists while he noticed Carson and Takuya were also being given the same treatment. When their bounds were secure, one of the men took Dwight's arm and escorted him to the center of the camp.

The mysterious group helped the three men sit down by the fire as Richard and Mati sat on the opposite side of the flames. "So Dwight, what brings you to the camp?" Richard asked.

"We were just passing through and saw your camp. It's just the three of us so we wanted to try our luck with a group," Dwight lied seamlessly.

"People tend to avoid other groups nowadays. For good reason. You never know if we could be cannibals or murderers," Richard commented but Dwight could already tell that Richard wasn't a murderer. He wasn't like Dwight at all.

Dwight shrugged. "We were desperate. In our position, we don't really have a lot to lose. At this point whatever happens, happens."

Richard looked to the other two that knelt on each side of Dwight. "What are your friend's name?" He questioned.

"This is Carson," Dwight introduced as he looked to the man sitting on his right then turned his attention to Takuya. "And this is Takuya."

"Takuya. You even sound like you're a long way from home. Where are you from?" Richard asked trying to gage their countenance.

Takuya eyed Richard skeptically but knew talking was what Negan wanted him to do to start gaining trust. "I am originally from Japan. Before the outbreak began, I was going to college with…in Georgia," he explained as he tried to shut out the fact he was once very good friends with Haruki.

Richard gestured to Mati who was sharpening a knife in his hand. "Old Mati here is from Ethiopia," Richard told them as Mati continued his work with the blade.

"When did you move to America?" Takuya asked sincerely. It didn't take a lot of effort for Takuya to make friends. Negan used him to draw other groups in often. Only because Takuya was genuinely a trustworthy person. He personally had no other ulterior motives when approaching others. Takuya hated playing bait to Negan's plans but was really good at being civil and human. Something that Dwight slowly was losing touch on.

Mati shook his head as he looked up to Takuya. "Let's just say I wasn't planning on staying here as I long as I have," he said in a sour tone.

"Whereabouts are you from, Carson?" Richard asked to steer the conversation towards their guests.

"I'm a local. I have lived in the D.C. area for all of my life," Carson said in a friendly voice.

Richard nodded his approval at the question then looked to Dwight. "That leaves you. Where are you from?" He quizzed.

"Georgia. Born and raised," Dwight disclosed.

Richard pointed to both Takuya and Dwight. "What brings you two from Georgia?" He asked.

"Well, we just kind of wandered up these parts. We didn't necessarily have a plan to come up north," Dwight explained.

"Just the two of you?" Richard asked.

Dwight gazed at the fire with sincere regret in his eyes. "No," Takuya answered gravely.

Richard read the pain behind Takuya's response. "I understand," he said with a dismal voice.

Dwight started realizing the time for formalities was coming to an end when Richard started to sympathize with them. He looked around the camp and the men that surrounded them. "Is this all of your group? You guys just wondering around in the woods?" He asked lightly.

Richard peered at Dwight cynically. "Why do you need to know?" He challenged.

Dwight shrugged. "I am not really in a position to do anything threatening, am I? Just making small talk." He looked around the camp once more. "Most people we come across have a base to barricade themselves in when need be. Only making some observations."

Richard and Mati made eye contact. Mati seized his gun that was holstered at the belt and pointed it at Dwight's chest once more. "We belong to a base that is heavily guarded and we currently train our men to fight to the death." He then pointed the gun to Dwight's head. "And our men never miss their target."

The men fell quiet as Dwight and Mati stared each other down. After several seconds of silence, Mati dropped his gun and started to chuckle the tension away. Richard and the other men joined in while Dwight laughed uneasily. Carson drew out a breath relieving all the stress that built up just moments before.

"Yeah, we have a base," Richard then said once the laughs died down. "Want to be a part of it?" He asked them all.

_More than you know, _Dwight thought. "If there is room to spare. We don't want to cause any trouble to your people. Or take supplies that you need to ration," Dwight conceded.

"Oh, we have plenty of supplies," someone piped in behind Mati &amp; Richard. "You wouldn't be a bother to us." There a man stood with an over friendly smile as he happened to give Dwight all the information that he needed. Richard and Mati glared at the man who interrupted their little interrogation as he realized his mistake. His eyes widened with regret as he stepped backwards in shame. "I'm sorry," he mumbled.

Dwight pretended to crack his neck by craning his face to the left and right very slowly which was the signal for Negan and his men to close in. Richard looked to Dwight as the air of tension seemed to change drastically since their loud mouth group member spoke up about their supplies. "It wouldn't be any trouble if it were just the three of you. Now if you were a whole army that would be a different story." Richard gazed at Dwight for a long time to try and read him as Dwight looked the least bit intimidated. "You wouldn't happen to have one of those around, would you?"

Some of the group members raised their guns towards Carson, Takuya, and Dwight. Others started raising their guns towards the forest. Dwight pretend to scoff at them to convey that they were over reacting. "If I had an army, I wouldn't need to join your group then, would I?" Dwight said condescendingly. The frustration had little to do with Richard's intense gaze. Dwight loathed betraying a group before they were caught on Negan's snare.

"I don't know. You tell me," Richard countered back as he kept his glare on Dwight. Dwight's nostrils flared as he tried to keep an emotionless face.

Dwight looked to Takuya and nodded. "We can see that this group isn't really the best fit for us. You guys obviously have some trust issues. We wouldn't want to be any more trouble. So while take our weapons back and we'll be on our way," Dwight said lightly to break the strain.

Richard signaled to one of his men as he stepped forward and untied their bounds behind them. Once the ropes were cut, Mati carried their weapons as the three got up from their knees and threw them on the ground in front of them. As Dwight bent down to pick his crossbow up, Richard spoke up again. "Now we can have a fair fight."

One of the most shocking revelations about becoming a killer for Negan was when Dwight realized how easily his mentality could switch off all emotions and only focus on getting the job done. All humanity began to leave his mind as he aimed his crossbow at Richard. He could hear all of the men's guns point to him as he saw Carson and Takuya aim their guns towards Mati.

"You sure that was a wise choice?" Richard asked Dwight. He seemed mildly amused.

"Don't worry. I have back up," Dwight said and whistled a tune as he heard more guns cock in the distance followed by the same tune sounded from the Saviors closing in. Dwight kept his eye on Richard as he appeared shocked that his hunch was correct about their small group. "Looks like you're surrounded," Dwight pointed out.

Negan came out of the woods and into view as all the Saviors pushed the men to the ground and on their knees. "Alright!" He yelled. "Tell me, Dwight! Do these men have a fucking camp?" He asked as he approached the fire and looked to Richard with a satisfied expression.

"Yup. Full of supplies," Dwight replied as Negan nodded towards the poor soul who revealed too much. Dwight sighed and took his aim off Richard and onto the man. He fired his crossbow as it hit the man in the stomach. The man yelped in pain then took a sharp breath of disturbance and continued to fight for air as he fell to the floor. Mati looked appalled as the man writhed in the snow and then gawked at Dwight.

Dwight glanced at Mati as he loaded his crossbow. "I did you a favor. Relax," Dwight muttered as he could have smacked himself in the face for saying and doing something so cruel. Negan only laughed at the display as he looked at the man fighting for his life.

"What's this place of yours called?" Negan inquired as he took Lucille and pointed it in Richard's face.

Richard's face read defeat as he stared into the fire. He shook his head then scowled at Negan. "It's called the Kingdom."

Dwight watched the man on the ground as he stopped fighting for breath and his muscles relaxed. He furrowed his brows to keep the despair at bay. _Sixty-two, _he thought.

**AUTHOR'S NOTE – I should mention who are original characters so far in my fanfiction. The ones who are in the comics are Negan, Dwight, Sherry, Seth, Richard and Carson.**

**The ones who I have created are a lot of Negan's wives as most of them are nameless in the comics. Mati is an original character. Kind of. If any of you guys are LOST fans, you know that Mr. Eko didn't have enough time on the show even though he was awesome. So Mati's character is inspired from Mr. Eko from LOST.**

**Doctor Kevin Mitchell is also inspired from a LOST character. Well, more so the actor who plays a character on LOST. But when I write things for Kevin, I picture Michael Emerson saying the things Kevin says. Michael Emerson plays Benjamin Linus on the show…. The man you LOVE to hate! Which is why I opted to seek inspiration from the actor and not his character. Can't trust Benjamin.**

**Thanks for reading! Expect a chapter on September 17****th,**** 2015! 1****st**** Anniversary of my first chapter of Many Hearts to Tread. Maybe I'll post something before then. You never know!**


	4. Chapter 4

**AUTHOR'S NOTE – My tough pill to swallow when writing a FanFiction about Negan's life is writing about the stories of his wives. I feel like the story line could go multiple ways. And I have read FanFiction's that have gone those ways. Call me a prude, but I decided to go a different direction than the erotica persuasion. That is NOT a put down for people who write mature content. However I feel that if I took a sexual approach with Negan's wives I wouldn't do the story justice. Some writers are really good at writing smut. I, personally, am not one of those writers. It would be a mistake to not mention the sexual activities at least once or twice (it's Negan after all) but I went with the approach of the hardships instead. To be in a relationship like that and not be traumatized…HOW? So I wanted to bring serious subject matters into this story. Abuse is something that comes in many shapes in forms. How people deal with abuse comes in even more shapes and forms. With as many wives as he has, they will all react differently in their own times. Anyways, enough of my yammering. Here is the next chapter of Nothing Else Matters**

Chapter 4

"What about this one? Think he will like it?" Brittany asked Amanda and Ashlyn in the front room. She was referring to the lingerie set that she wore as she decided to have a fashion show with what seemed like twenty different items in the past hour. Most of the girls began in the living room however when she started modeling her collection, they soon fanned out when they couldn't stand it any longer.

"I'm sure he will like any of the ones that you have tried on, Brittany," Ashlyn said with a strong irritated tone as she kept her nose in her book. Amanda was under a blanket that Ashlyn used to cover her feet as they all were wearing heavy winter clothes to stay warm inside their house. They fortunately had a fireplace but couldn't get close enough to it when Brittany decided to try on lingerie right in front of it.

Brittany gave Ashlyn a shocked look upon her remark. "Come on, ladies! He'll be back in Sanctuary at any given time! Am I the only one who is excited?" Brittany asked as she looked at herself in the mirror that she brought down from her bedroom.

"Yes," Sherry quipped under her breath as she heard their conversation from the kitchen table. Yolanda smiled at Sherry's retort as she continued to chop vegetables at the kitchen counter. Megan and Christy sat on either side of her as they all played poker together to pass the time.

Megan shook her head and let out an exasperated giggle. "I don't know how you are brave enough to even say something like that, Sherry," she said with a smile.

"It's easy. Just learn not to give a fuck and Negan won't seem as intimidating," Sherry teased while focusing on the cards in her hand. She bit the inside of her cheek at the realization that she had nothing and looked up to see Christy's smug smile. "What?" She questioned.

"You ready to fold?" Christy taunted.

Sherry sighed as she cringed inwardly that her tell was showing in plain sight. "Never," she responded with as much confidence that she could muster but ended up grinning in spite of herself.

Christy snorted at Sherry's lack of poker face and sighed as she looked out the window. "The only reason that it's nice to have Negan around is so we could go outside," she said sadly.

The girls weren't forbidden to go outside by any means. They just saw their home as being safer than the outside. The men took pleasure in messing around with Negan's wives when he wasn't there to "protect" them. Whenever Negan left Sanctuary, the girls confined themselves to their house. Yet after a while, they showed signs of being stir crazy with cabin fever.

"Didn't he say that Takuya would be left behind to guard the front door?" Megan asked while feigning disinterest.

"Apparently, he forgot," Sherry observed then looked to Megan as she stared longingly at the door. Knowing that Megan could also work on her poker face, Sherry placed a hand over Megan's arm in comfort. "Don't worry, Meg. I'm sure Takuya is safe out there."

Megan smiled shyly and gazed back down towards her cards. Sherry couldn't help but detect a budding attraction between Takuya and Megan. Whenever they were in the same vicinity, their eyes always seemed to zero in on each other. Sherry could easily see Megan's interest but it seemed to be a mutual passion as Takuya couldn't keep his eyes off the red headed beauty whenever he could.

"You shouldn't have a wondering eye, Megan," Brittany criticized from behind them as she stood snidely at the doorway with only her bra and panties on.

"Says the person who catcalls guys on our front porch," Sherry muttered under her breath.

"What was that?" Brittany demanded staring directly at Sherry with vicious eyes.

"Oh, I was just wondering if you're cold in that," Sherry replied and pointed at Brittany's lack of apparel. Megan and Christy appeared to be on the brink of laughter at Sherry's smart mouth but tried to contain it so Brittany wouldn't lash out even more. However, Sherry wasn't afraid of rising to the bait. "Also, what harm is it going to do if Megan looks at someone, Brittany?" She inquired hoping that Brittany would have a stupid answer that she could slam to the ground.

Brittany looked baffled. "He wants our devotion. And I can give that to him every night. I love my husband," she defended as she stood up straight to show how proud she was to receive the "wife" title.

"No. You love the stuff Negan gives you; not the actual person," Sherry interpreted as she could see her lingerie collection piled up next to the stairs. Negan liked to shower the wives with gifts when they were being submissive.

"You bitch! What are you here for, anyways?" Brittany challenged and stormed inside the kitchen to put Sherry back in her place.

Yolanda turned around from the kitchen counter and put a hand over Sherry's shoulder. "Sherry is here because of me. She protects more people than you know. You will please show her more respect!" Yolanda reprimanded.

Brittany looked stunned but unimpressed at Yolanda's loyalty. "You can't talk to me like that. You work for us!" She spat wickedly.

Sherry put her cards down face up without worrying about the game and glowered at Brittany. "No, _you _don't talk to her like that." Sherry was the shortest of all the wives yet she stared Brittany down as if she were ten feet tall. Sherry motioned her hand in a gesture for Brittany to leave. "Why don't you just tramp back to the living room and leave us to have meaningful conversations?" Sherry suggested to merely belittle her.

Brittany made a face at Sherry and started walking away. "Bitch," Brittany cursed quietly to herself despite everyone hearing it.

"Harlot," Sherry said and sat back down while everyone else in the room were still frozen in time as they wondered what had just transpired. Yolanda took several deep breaths and went back to preparing the girls dinner while Christy grabbed Sherry's cards to start shuffling for another game.

The girls sat silently for a while as Sherry noticed Christy teetering on saying something but would stop herself from voicing her opinion. "Something on your mind?" Sherry asked.

Christy paused to collect her thoughts but decided to speak up. "We don't feel the same way as Brittany," Christy began.

Sherry nodded but wasn't liking where the conversation was headed. "I know," she replied as she looked to Christy with sincerity.

Megan piped in and put a hand on top of Sherry's. If Sherry didn't know any better, she would think that they were setting her up for an intervention. "We really look up to you as an older sister. You have taught us how to survive being with Negan. We appreciate everything you do for us," she adulated yet Sherry knew the compliments were going to be followed up with something negative.

"Thanks," Sherry said with apprehension. "It means a lot to hear you say that."

Christy nodded and looked to Megan who raised her eyebrows as a signal. Christy heaved a sigh and gazed at Sherry with warning in her eyes. "We are saying this because we think your streak of being calloused with Negan might not be best idea anymore," Christy cautioned.

Sherry looked from both girls then made eye contact with Yolanda who also gazed at her with concern. "Why?" Sherry asked as she put her attention back to Christy in question.

"I think… We think…he's getting impatient with the way you regard him. He wants your respect," Christy said looking straight into Sherry's eyes.

Sherry wore a disgusted look on her face. "He doesn't give a damn about my respect. He just wants me to sleep with him! That's all it is!" She said as she looked down at the table in frustration.

"To him that is one and the same," Megan said while also peering at the table lost in a daze. "Right now, he'll look for any excuse to have you."

Sherry watched Megan and Christy then pursed her lips. "How do you know about this?" She asked. As if she wanted unsolicited advice, Brittany walked back into the room with a smug attitude. _Here we go again, _Sherry thought.

"Because you are all he ever fucking talks about or compares us to. It's always, 'Sherry prefers wine over beer. All of you guys should drink wine now.' Or, 'Sherry puts up a fight. You guys should too,'" Brittany lamented. "He wants you. So do us all a favor and do the deed so we can get on with our lives."

"No one asked for your opinion, Brittany. You still aren't welcome in the kitchen while the adults are talking!" Sherry retorted as she waved the annoying blonde away. Brittany stomped away in a huff as Sherry considered what she had just said.

She turned her attention to Christy with worry as her face softened into sympathy. "Christy, is he being unfair to you guys because I'm not putting out?" Sherry asked.

Christy shook her head. "No. We are just worried about you. The more he talks about you, the more it seems like he wants to snuff your light out. It's like he has this admiration for you but like how a hunter talks about a deer in his sights. He will do whatever it takes to get his game," she said in a final tone as Sherry stared off into the distance and rested her head on the palm of her hand. Was she setting herself up for something to ensnare her around the corner?

Her thoughts were interrupted as Yolanda placed some plates on the table with their dinner. "Things used to be much more simple before this all happened," she said as she rested a hand on Sherry's shoulder again.

Sherry put her hand over Yolanda's and squeezed it. "That's a fact," she concurred with a deep exhale. Negan hadn't tried to mess with her mind for a while so she focused on the plate in front of her with disappointment. "I swear our portion sizes become less and less every day." As if on cue, her stomach growled in agreement.

"If I made the rules, I would make sure you girls were well fed," Yolanda said and brought more plates to the table. She then craned her head towards the living room and spoke up. "Brittany! The parents are done talking now! You can come get your supper!"

Brittany came in with her nose in the air and grabbed a plate from the table. "I would rather eat in the other room, thank you very much," she said as she stepped out of the room with her food in hand. Amanda and Ashlyn walked past Brittany and snickered at her immaturity as they took their seats at the table.

"Good riddance," Sherry said when Brittany was out of hearing distance as the girls laughed quietly.

"Who is going to say grace?" Christy asked Sherry.

Sherry smiled and looked at all the girls. "I think its Amanda's turn."

All the girls agreed to share their traditions that they had from their families before the apocalypse. One of the traditions was praying before every meal. Sherry never had siblings but she was glad for the group of girls that were with her as they molded into being her sisters. Even though they all experienced what some would consider the worst life bestowed upon someone, they supported each other as much as they could in their shared trial.

They all bowed their heads and held hands with those sitting next to them at the table as Sherry and Christy took Yolanda's hands as she stood in between them. Amanda cleared her throat and began her prayer. "Dear Heavenly Father, we are so thankful for the food we have…"

…

Sherry woke up to Christy sniffling in her bed. At first, she decided to ignore it to see if she would regain her composure but the crying seemed to intensify as she started to quietly wail. Sherry could hear Christy trying to drown out the noise by crying in her pillow but it didn't help.

"What's wrong?" Sherry finally asked. "Are you cold?"

Christy's weeps subsided as she tried to calm herself down. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to wake you up, Sher," she said in between uncontrollable cries.

"Waking me up would indicate that I was already asleep. Which I wasn't," Sherry stated as she got up from her bed and walked over to Christy's. "Scoot over," she said kindly as Christy did so. Sherry slid underneath the covers while they both huddled together in the cold of the night. Christy continued to cry on Sherry's shoulder as more minutes passed in comfortable silence. When Christy's weeping seemed to die down, Sherry decided it was a good time for Christy to pour out her soul if she found it necessary. "You can tell me what's wrong, Christy."

"I dreamt about my family," Christy revealed with a heartbroken voice. "Want to know something that I haven't told the other girls?"

Sherry nodded. "I won't tell anyone."

Christy sobbed before she said another word. "I was married before the world ended." She broke down again as Sherry held her tightly and rested her chin on the top of Christy's head.

"My husband and I were married for less than a year when he died. He was one of the first in our town to get infected," Christy said in between whimpers. "I loved him so much."

Sherry became lost in thought from Christy's revelation as she suddenly pictured herself in a wedding dress like she pictured Christy's dress to be. Instead Sherry imagined herself looking in a mirror with a white dress and veil. The vision gave her warmth inside as she could almost feel her dad reach for her hand in their shared wonderful moment. She then imagined her dad leading her down the aisle in the church cathedral that her family attended church at throughout her entire life. On one side she saw all of her family and friends smiling at her while she inched closer to the altar. On the other side were people that were nameless. She could only assume they were the groom's family.

Then she looked at the altar and saw to surprise Dwight standing there. It was who she always dreamed about when she closed her eyes at night. He was always her last thought before falling into dreamland. He smiled at her with tears starting to form in his eyes as she got closer.

The vision ended when Christy spoke once more. "Bradley. My husband's name was Bradley," Christy disclosed as she sniffled once more.

Sherry sighed and tried to be back in the present for Christy. "I'm so sorry. I'll tell you a secret since you told me one," Sherry offered to cheer her friend up.

Christy looked to her with mild intrigue. "Anything to get my mind off of things," she said as she breathed in a sense of calm.

"Everything I do for Negan is to protect someone that I care about. I came to Sanctuary with a group and Negan gave me an ultimatum. Be with him or watch my group die," Sherry explained.

"He told me the same thing with my group," Christy disclosed.

"I protect Yolanda and Takuya but there is one other person that I protect," Sherry continued.

Christy remained silent until several seconds passed. "Who?" She asked.

"Dwight," Sherry revealed as she heard Christy gasp in the dark room.

"Him?" Christy questioned. She fell quiet as she let the information soak in. "That actually explains a lot."

Sherry looked to the ceiling and raised her brows in question. "What do you mean?" She asked.

"Dwight does everything that Negan asks him to do," Christy said evenly. "I wonder how many other men in Sanctuary have something hanging over their heads."

"I can imagine almost all of them do," Sherry said joylessly. "Negan knows how much Dwight cares about me so we continue to protect each other with the jobs he has given us."

Christy thought for a while as she contemplated what Sherry said. "I didn't know that you guys really knew each other before Sanctuary but it does make more sense with the way he looks at you."

Sherry's curiosity was entertained at what Christy was implying. "How does he look at me?" Sherry asked with a smile.

"He doesn't look at you like the other guys look at us skimpy dressed ladies. Anyone can see that he loves you," Christy informed sweetly. Sherry's body tensed at the statement while Christy laughed lightly at her reaction. "You love him too."

Sherry tried to refrain a grin and keep a sensible composure. "I might," she responded.

"Does it make it harder for you to admit that you love him?" Christy asked by the way Sherry answered.

"It's not that," Sherry admitted. "I honestly haven't said it out loud yet. I think the first time I say it, I want him to be the first to hear it."

Christy smiled at the sentiment. "It's nice that you have him," she said with a content voice.

Sherry shrugged. "Yeah. I kind of wish that we had time for a normal relationship. Like you and Bradley had. It would have been nice to have met under the regular circumstances. We could have dated, he would have met my parents, I would meet his brother…and then we could just grow old together. No Negan in the way. No walkers that threatened our lives," she said as she became lost in the thought of what things could have been.

Christy rested her head on Sherry's. "It's so easy to focus on 'what if' scenarios. For me, it's comforting to wonder what it would have been like if the outbreak didn't happen either." They laid in silence for a little bit longer. "I find myself seeing a ghost of Bradley walking around Sanctuary," Christy confided. "I feel like I am going crazy."

Sherry squeezed Christy in a tighter hug as they cuddled for warmth under the covers. "You aren't crazy. You just aren't getting fed enough."

Christy smirked. "I'm so glad you're here, Sherry," she said quietly.

"I'm glad I can be here for you. You and the other girls seem to be the only thing that makes me happy lately," Sherry divulged.

Sherry stayed by Christy's side for the rest of the night while Christy fell into a deep and peaceful slumber. Although, she was unable to fall asleep herself, she ended up thinking of Dwight and the kiss he gave her until the sun came up.

…

_October 2011_

_Kevin looked to Sherry in admiration. "Would you say your relationship with Negan's wives was protective?" He asked her._

_Sherry looked at the coffee table with a distant face. "I just tried to look out for them. Let them realize that they weren't alone throughout all of this," she said as a matter-of-factly._

"_I think the way you held yourself was remarkably praiseworthy," Kevin complimented. "Under the circumstances."_

_Sherry smiled weakly but the grin vanished in a flash. "Thanks. I wish that I felt that way for myself now," she mused as she stared at her hands the rested on her lap._

"_I wouldn't discredit yourself too soon," Kevin encouraged. "You are just going through a rough trial in your life, Sherry. This may not be all that the world holds for you." His voice held so much confidence for her as he leaned forward quickly in his chair._

_The motion put Sherry on edge as she looked to him with uneasiness. The tension in her face didn't pass Kevin's observance as he immediately sat back. "Did I frighten you?" He asked with concern. "I didn't have any intention of scaring you."_

_Sherry's eyes filled with moisture as she quickly wiped her tears away. "I'm sorry."_

"_Please don't apologize," Kevin said firmly. "I understand the hesitation; living with a man like Negan for an entire year would make anyone understandably jumpy. You don't have any reason to fear me, Sherry. I would never try to dominate you. I only want to help you."_

_Sherry nodded but still looked unconvinced. "I know."_

_Kevin smiled as he put his pen on the notepad to prepare for more note taking. "Good. Let's proceed. When Dwight went on…errands…for Negan, do you know what he was doing?" He asked._

"_Like I said," Sherry began, "he did whatever Negan asked him to do."_

**AUTHOR'S NOTE – I apologize for the chapters being shorter than Many Hearts to Tread. There is just really no use in making them bigger when all the points I want to stress are already said. Thanks for reading! Second update in one day! Oh yeah!**


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

Dwight had delivered a punch that landed on Richard's nose for what felt like the twentieth time. His knuckles started to hurt hours ago and he could feel the skin peeling away to nothing with each blow. The frigid air liked his open knuckles as it stung every time the wind blew. Yet as painful as it was for himself, he felt worse for Richard and the rest of the Kingdom's men while they knelt helplessly on their knees and watched in alarm at the torture taking place in front of them. Richard was slowly losing discipline to endure the punches that came his way. Dwight was impressed with Richard's fortitude and was surprised it lasted as long as it had.

"I will ask one more fucking time. Where is the Kingdom?" Negan asked as he paced back and forth slowly in front of Richard. Dwight picked Richard back up to a kneeling position so he didn't have to lay down in the bloodied snow beneath him. Negan knelt down to be eye level to Richard as the exhausted man stared at Negan with no fear.

"You fucking son of a bitch!" Richard taunted as he panted heavily. "You think I'm going say shit? I'm nowhere finished with what this asshole can dish out." He said and looked to Dwight daringly. Negan glanced at Dwight expectantly with an evil grin as Dwight rolled his eyes then kicked Richard in the stomach. Richard fell to the ground as he groaned from the physical distress. Dwight's eyebrows raised as Richard didn't stay down for a long period of time and rose back up to his knees to prove he wasn't to be taken lightly.

Negan chuckled softly at Richard's perseverance then licked his lips before he ridiculed the beaten man any further. "Why aren't you saying a word? All we want to do is meet the head honcho," Negan badgered yet it came out as friendly as a wolf in sheep's clothing. Anyone could tell that Negan was coming off more aggressive than what they felt comfortable with.

Richard spat blood from his mouth and cleared his throat. "I told you. I'm the boss and I ain't saying shit!"

"You don't want to say a fucking word?" Negan asked as he turned his attention towards the rest of the men from the Kingdom and then back to Richard as leered a smile. "Fine. I'll find someone else that will fuck up some information worthy of my time."

Dwight forced Richard to his knees by holding the collar of his coat. He motioned for Takuya to hand him his machete. Takuya handed it to him as they made brief eye contact to show each other the mutual displeasure for their current affairs. Dwight took the back of Richard's hair to hold his head up and rested his blade on his Adam's apple while Richard was forced to watch Negan pick one of his men to squeal the whereabouts of their community.

Negan looked to Richard again as he pointed Lucille towards the men who knelt in a single file then walked over to him. "You have one more chance to say something about your leader or your base. Preferably both," he said condescendingly as he reveled in the anguish of every man in the camp. Dwight's felt a knot in the pit of his stomach as it was almost a mirror image of how he met Negan. He could recognize the fear that was in everyone's eyes as they watched Negan with dread.

Richard stared down at the snow refusing to give Negan the time of day despite a knife trying to hold him up. Dwight watched as the other men from the Kingdom followed suit and bowed their heads.

"I don't want anyone to die tonight, Richard. I'm not a fucking monster," Negan said in a calm voice. "However, it's important that you tell me what I asked. Otherwise, you and all of your men will be piled up in that fire come morning time. My men will cook motherfucking s'mores over your carcasses. Your choice."

"Your promises are empty, you dumb fuck!" Richard growled as he still lowered his head. "Have you already forgotten that one of my men is dead?"

Negan looked over to the man Dwight shot with his crossbow earlier that night. "Oh, hey! Look at that!" Negan muttered playfully and considered the game changer as he tilted his head to the side slowly. "Okay, no one _else _has to die tonight." He corrected.

"Listen, man, you could kill us all tonight if it came down to it," Richard said in between pants. "You could say your threats all night long and we wouldn't say a word. Men try and bribe that loyalty from their men but leaders actually deserve that kind of respect." Richard raised his head in confidence. "We will not betray the king." 

Negan guffawed in a mocking tone. "The king?" He jeered. "So you are the king's men?" Other Saviors joined in the amusement at Richard's expense. Richard, however, knelt statuesque and didn't pay the ridicule any mind.

"Fuck. Alright," Negan said in consternation while the humor was quickly descending. "What would we have to do to get you to fucking trust us? We want a meeting with this king. A nice civil meeting. We will be unarmed and we will promise right now that no one dies. Especially your precious king."

Richard looked at him skeptically. "I really don't know if there is anything that you can say or do that can make me trust you," he concluded almost ready for whatever fate Negan had for him.

Negan eyed him and grinned. "Richard. I don't really fucking care. I would really like you to comply with what I'm saying. Otherwise, there is going to be a fucking blood bath. And it will be on your hands," he declared as he held Lucille up right in front of his nose.

Richard leaned closer to Lucille as his forehead grazed the wood and barbed wire. "Do your worst," he said bravely with no ounce of fear behind the conviction of protecting the Kingdom.

…

"So we are really going to just let them go?" After all of that shit back there?" Dwight demanded as he accompanied Negan back to where their trucks were parked with the walker limbs and supplies.

Negan stopped walking and faced Dwight. "No, dipshit. I'm leaving a few of my men to spy on them, follow them to their base, and report back their location. Then we will all go back and show them who they are fucking around with," he explained and continued to press forward while large snowflakes fell upon them. The wind was starting to pick up as they all sensed tumultuous weather was heading their way. Their speed was fast while heading towards the trucks so they could get to Sanctuary before it got any worse.

Negan proceeded onward as Dwight followed. "Listen," Negan continued. "I believe those guys would have died to defend their base. I honestly do. Which would have been bad news for us because that means zero details. Sometimes you just have to think like a soldier, Dwight. Don't worry; you're getting there."

As they saw the trucks in the near distance, they could see about twenty unwelcome walkers ahead that were heading straight towards them. Some Saviors started approaching them with weapons drawn to add to their fence. Negan just watched them as he stayed behind. He hardly ever participated in putting down walkers due to lack of interest. Negan had previously gone on record that he liked to save violence for when it was most entertaining to him. Dwight knew that only meant when other survivor's lives hung on the line as Negan tended to revel in other's pain; no rhyme or reason needed.

Dwight sighed deeply as he stood next to Negan while they looked on at the small battle between the Savior's and walkers. "What about that one guy I killed?" He questioned.

Negan glanced quizzically at Dwight. "What about him?" He quipped back.

"He didn't have to die tonight," Dwight insisted in an angry tone.

"What's to say he wouldn't die later when we ambush the Kingdom?" Negan asked. "I know you get all torn up about people's lives and other bullshit like that that but we are here to establish a new world order. Business is still motherfucking business."

Dwight made a noise of exasperation as he stepped away from Negan and towards the biting walker's. He would rather risk life and limb than hear Negan say another word.

"Hey!" Negan yelled at him. "We aren't finished yet! I'm still talking to you!"

"I am going to go help with getting more walkers for the fence," Dwight shouted back. "Fucking cunt." Dwight muttered under his breath. However, the insult didn't go unheard by Negan.

"Yeah!" Negan started. "Sherry, would know a lot about me fucking cunt, wouldn't she?" He provoked loudly for everyone to hear as Dwight stopped dead in his tracks with his back still turned away from Negan. He clenched and unclenched his fists to calm himself down. Their arguments always reached the same conclusion in the past. Dwight would disagree with him as Negan would make a jab about Sherry. Dwight would try and avoid a dispute with Negan only to prevent the vulgar words from ever happening. Yet that was always Dwight's problem. He always had something to contend with when it came to Negan's leadership skills.

After a couple more deep breaths, Dwight kept on walking towards the men that were chopping more limbs off of walkers while he heard Negan's laughter behind him. As much as that irritated him, he could only tell himself to keep walking.

Dwight passed Takuya who was part of a group responsible for loading the walkers into the truck. "Letting off some steam?" Takuya asked Dwight as he picked up some limbs.

"Damn right, I am," Dwight seethed as he held his machete tightly in his hand and kept on marching towards the undead. A walker spotted Dwight heading his way and growled in hunger as he sauntered closer to him. Dwight stared at it while no longer glancing at them like they used to be human. Many times they had gotten in his way of things being what they used to be. He had loathed every single one of them.

Dwight didn't waste any time and swing his machete above his head. The first blow cut the walker's left arm off from the shoulder down. The walker still came at him while disregarding the fact it had one less limb. Dwight looked at it wide eyed and hungry to kill something. The next swing hit the walker in the stomach as its intestines immediately spilled to the ground with a slimy heap of a sound. Dwight firmly held his blade to the side as he swung with every muscle he had as he took both of the walker's legs off in one fell swoop.

He continued on with his tirade with five more walkers until there was only one more left to slaughter. All the other men finished with their fight and didn't bother to help Dwight with the last one as they were all mildly entertained and disturbed at Dwight's rage fit that he was taking out on the soulless creatures.

"He's got it," Seth said to no one in particular as he dragged a limbless walker to the truck.

Dwight was to the point that he didn't care whether or not the walker lived or died for the sake of the fence. He raised he machete high and brought it down on the walker's head while it cut through the skull and straight down to its nostrils. The walker dropped dead but Dwight wasn't as satisfied as he presumed he would be. The quick death didn't satiate his lust for blood as he took his machete out of the rotted bone and hit it again. Before his mind could even register what his muscles were instinctually acting on, he continued slashing every body part the walker still had left. He repeated the action over and over again. The indignation fueled him where he couldn't feel the snow that landed on his skin. Blood splattered all over his face and clothes as he proceeded to vent his petulance on the monster.

"Dwight," he heard Takuya say in the distance. There was practically nothing left of the walker to strike as Dwight looked around the forest with wild eyes for something else to attack.

He felt someone touch his shoulder as he swing his blade at the source. Takuya quickly jumped out of his way with hands up in the air in surrender. "Dwight. Take a deep breath and calm down," Takuya eased.

Dwight looked from Takuya's worried face to the Saviors enthused expressions. He glanced down at this clothes that were soaked in walker flesh as blood dripped off his nose. The adrenaline was starting to wear off as took several gasps and let go of his machete like it weighed a ton.

Takuya approached him cautiously. "You okay, brother?" He inquired.

Dwight was out of breath and wiped his face with his sleeve. It only smeared the blood that was already accumulated on his coat sleeve. "No," he replied truthfully.

"Men!" Negan yelled near the trucks with a victorious smile on his face. "Let's go home!"

The men cheered as engines started gearing up. Takuya looked to Dwight with concern. "Maybe you can request to Negan that you need some time off to unwind?"

Dwight cast a knowing look to Takuya and scoffed. "Think he would really give me some time off?" He joked.

"Wouldn't hurt to ask, right?" Takuya questioned with a comforting smile.

"It might," Dwight said gruffly already knowing that being second-in-command had no breaks in the schedule. Unfortunately, he was doomed to feel miserable for the long haul.

…

They drove on the highway back to Sanctuary. Negan left behind four men to scout the Kingdom and report as soon as they were able to. Dwight wondered if those Saviors would even survive the trip as he watched the snow fall on the windshield in a flurry. The truck seemed to take the blizzard alright with the plow attachment on the front. Dwight was having a difficult time seeing in front of him while the white out was blinding him as the snow reflected off the headlights.

Dwight and Takuya were in charge of the truck that held all of the walkers that were torn apart for the perimeter fence. Takuya looked back behind him at the pile of walkers that sat in the trunk as snow collected on top of them. One walker in particular had its face pressed against the cab's window while Takuya gazed it with disgust. The walker grated its teeth open and closed when Takuya decided he would rather face the front of the car versus glancing over his shoulder.

"They always look angry, don't you think?" Takuya observed to make light small talk.

Since Dwight's maddened outburst in his walker attack, he had since calmed down. He smirked and knocked on the window behind him as the walker tried to bite Dwight's knuckles through the glass. "I guess I would be too if I were them."

Silence followed as Dwight waited for Takuya's follow up response. He kept his eyes on the road only to prevent sliding off into unknown territory. "Do you think that they have any recollection of their life before?" Takuya asked. "Before they became what they are now?"

Dwight shook his head with certainty. "There is one thing that I would compare it to. Have you ever seen Old Yeller?"

"Never heard of it," Takuya revealed.

"Never heard of it?" Dwight scoffed but continued. "Orlich family movie classic. We would watch it around Thanksgiving every year," Dwight said as he remembered his parents, his brother, and himself sitting around their television. His family had simple traditions every for holidays and watching Old Yeller was one of them. "The story is about a boy and his dog. They bond and the dog basically becomes a member of the family. In the end, the dog is attacked by a wolf. From that encounter, the dog gets rabies from the bite. Old Yeller who was once a friendly dog starts growling at the boy and showing his teeth. Ultimately, they have to make the decision to shoot it."

Takuya thought to himself as he absorbed Dwight's narrative. "You watched _that _for Thanksgiving?" Takuya questioned. "Isn't that a happy American holiday?"

Dwight ignored his remark. "The point is that the dog had no memory of his family whatsoever and became a danger to the ones who loved him. Whether or not those biters remember their lives or not, they don't care and are not in the mindset _to _care. We do them a favor by ending them."

"So what does that say about us when we keep them alive and tie them to fences?" Takuya asked while eyeing the walker head that was staring back at him. "Are we still doing them a favor?"

Dwight thought for a second. "It could mean that we are scum for not treating them with more respect. _Or _it could mean that we are just trying our best to stay alive by any means necessary."

Takuya shrugged. "Yeah. What else can we do?" He pondered out loud and looked at the harsh snow that fell on the windshield.

Just then, the vehicle in front of Dwight's truck started to swerve to both sides. Immediately, it started to fish tail as the driver tried to regain control of the wheels. "Shit!" Dwight burst out as he slowed his car in an unhurried manner so he didn't start swerving himself but braking enough so he wouldn't run into the truck in front of him. The cars behind him did the same but all started to deviate from the straight line of road while they tried to come to a dead stop.

The truck behind them didn't stop in enough time as Dwight braced for impact. Sure enough, the truck collided with Dwight's and sent their truck spiraling forward as Dwight held the wheel of his car tightly only to try and make it go in one direction but to no avail. He could see walker limbs from his rear window mirror start to litter the floor around him. Takuya held the handle for dear life as he tried to regain composure for himself.

Their car veered to its side as it came to a complete stop. Without a breath to focus on facing the right direction, Dwight saw headlights closing in fast. Too fast to stop. "Shit!" Dwight repeated as he saw the bigger truck that Negan was driving barrel towards them as it hit the trunk of their car. The impact made Takuya's airbag go off and also cracked the rear glass window as it shattered into a thousand pieces sending several walker body parts flooding into the cab area where Dwight and Takuya sat.

"Uh-oh!" Takuya said as he got his knife out. Many were walker heads as they did their best to consume whatever morsel would come their way while they rolled around in the cab of the truck.

The car was still spinning out of control as Dwight gave up on trying to get control back on steering. Instead, he got his own knife out to help Takuya as he started slashing his own fair share of walkers.

"At your feet!" Takuya yelled to Dwight as a walker head rolled down towards the brake pad.

Dwight looked down and saw a head trying to clamp down on his heel. He took the knife and stabbed it in the forehead as the car felt like it was going at a decline which put even more walker heads into the vehicle.

"We got our work cut out for us, don't we?" Dwight yelled and went to town on as many walkers as he could. The walkers had the disadvantage because Dwight and Takuya wore so many layers of clothes that it made it impossible for them to get a good bite that would cause the men any danger.

The truck started to slow as Dwight could only see pitch black. Once the car came to a complete stop, he reached into the glove compartment for a flashlight as he turned it on to observe his surroundings. Dwight could only see snow through the front window and sides while the back window was blocked by walker body parts. The truck was nearly at a vertical angle as Dwight hypothesized they were in a steep ditch off the highway that left the trunk of walkers directly hanging above them.

"Looks like we're stuck," Takuya deduced but started to retch from motion sickness. Dwight lost count for how many times their truck spun before ended up in the ditch.

Dwight sighed. "Well, let's hope the other Saviors like us enough to get us out soon." Dwight turned off the engine and tried to let the adrenaline subside. "It might be a long night."

…

They sat in the darkness with only the sounds of snow billowing in the air and the walkers above them constantly snarling in protest. Dwight lost track with the time as the air in the cab got colder and more problematic. Takuya used his flashlight and the rear view mirror to see the gash on his forehead from the car accident. With a first aid kit in the glove compartment he bandaged himself up as best as he could but Dwight deduced he would need stitches if they ever returned to Sanctuary.

Dwight looked behind him at the walkers that were in the trunk. There was one walker's body that blocked the other rotting limbs and heads from coming inside. However, it didn't block the harsh cold from outside as their cab got colder and colder. Takuya rubbed his hands together and hugged his middle while Dwight did the same.

"Have you ever played Ker Plunk?" Dwight asked as he stared at the walkers. With the blizzard and the delicate back window holding all the weight, he was unsure how long they could hold out in hopes that someone would come to rescue them.

Takuya looked confused as he wondered why Dwight would ask him such a question when their situation seemed too dire for small talk.

Dwight nodded towards the walkers behind them. "The object of the game is to remove these sticks without having objects on top of said sticks fall to the floor. We played it in grade school when I was a kid. I think it's inevitable that we going to have walkers fall on top of us if we try to get out of here. But maybe we can be smart about which ones we remove so they don't topple on us all at once."

Takuya bent down beneath his feet and reached for a flashlight. He turned it on and they both studied the mound of walker bodies above them. "This seems hopeless," Takuya uttered. "But it beats being buried alive. You don't think the Saviors are going to help us out? 

Dwight looked at him knowingly. "Like Negan is going to organize a rescue mission for us," he commented gruffly. They both looked behind them again and surveyed the first walker body that was blocking everything else from pouring in the truck.

"Alright. It's starting to get freezing cold and Sanctuary was only five minutes away from where we were when we swerved off the road. We could die if we wait any longer so let's do this," Dwight declared as he reached for the walker's body. "First things first. We need this guy out of the way."

Takuya held the flashlight as Dwight jimmied the walker into the truck without disrupting the load behind it. The limbless walker growled as it slowly started making its way down the truck in Dwight and Takuya's favor. The walker fell to the dashboard below as Takuya took a knife to the walker so he wouldn't bother them as they climbed out of the truck. Dwight considered it a success but had to hold several walker body parts from falling on top of them. They were unable to hold themselves on their own. Dwight kept the most vulnerable part of the walker pile from caving inside the cab but the weight was becoming too difficult to bear.

Dwight saw whatever walker heads were in sight as he removed one arm to reach for his knife as he started to slice the brains to eliminate the danger. Blood dripped on top of him and Takuya as he tried to keep his mouth shut from whatever infection the walkers succumbed to. When he felt he had killed enough walkers that were in the closest proximity, Dwight tugged at each walker to try and feel which parts were less likely to cause an inconvenient pile up. He felt one more limbless walker had the least weight depending on it and guesstimated it seemed the most optimal.

Dwight looked to Takuya and gestured for him to get closer. "Put the flashlight in my mouth. I need both of your hands to help out with the next one."

"What do you want me to do?" Takuya asked.

"I need you to put your hands where mine are right now to prop these guys up. Otherwise they will collapse on top of us," Dwight panted as he was growing tired of holding the weight above him.

Takuya looked to him skeptically. "You know you are stronger than me. I won't be able to hold them for long," he said less confidently.

Dwight sighed as he admitted to himself that Takuya wouldn't be able to hold the walkers. Takuya looked at the walker parts that Dwight held up. "Your arms are keeping the walkers from falling. What if I just took a walker part above your arms bit by bit? That way I get some load off your arms and we still get out of here."

Beads of sweat started to drop from Dwight's forehead as he held his arms above him with all the strength he had left. "Okay."

Takuya immediately started grabbing walker parts over Dwight's arms. He would then toss them below to the dashboard of the truck. Anytime Takuya saw a walker head, he would stab it to prevent walker bites. Bit by bit, the heaviness seemed less. However, it didn't stop Dwight's muscles from shaking in exhaustion.

Soon they started running into a different problem. There started to be less room inside the cab of the truck as more walker parts fell. Dwight looked above in curiosity. "Do you think you could shimmy out of here yet?" He asked.

Takuya dropped more body parts below. "I think so," he said almost in a question.

Dwight's arms started to grow more tired. His muscles weren't used to holding his arms over his head for a long period of time. He was growing more impatient as time went on. "Well, try so we can get out of here," he said breathlessly.

Takuya tried to push himself out of the shattered window as much as he could. His feet crunched walker's rotted bones beneath him while he tried to stand tall with his body emerging from the broken glass. Dwight watched as Takuya stabbed heads around the hole he was digging to the surface.

Dwight looked up to him and then saw that Takuya's knees were complete straight as he stepped out of the cab. "Just focus on getting as many walkers out of the truck. Throw them into the snow when you can."

Takuya started to do as Dwight requested and threw the walkers into the snow. After several minutes, he finally threw the last walker over Dwight's arms into the snow as Dwight was free to rest his biceps. Dwight found his footing on the dashboard and pulled himself upward and out of the cab. The sudden gust of snow that hit his face was a warm welcome as he was able to breathe the cold brisk air. He could almost feel the air freeze the mixture of sweat and blood on his face.

They both climbed out of the trunk and fell into three feet deep snow. Dwight couldn't believe the amount of snow around him. He squinted at the tracks beneath and saw where they came from when they spun off the road and into the ditch.

"Let's follow the tracks back to the highway. See if any of the Saviors need help with picking up," Dwight suggested as a first option.

"Could have been a huge pile up. Everyone braking their cars on that road," Takuya said loudly to be heard over the snow storm. "I wonder what caused the guy in front of us to stop as fast as he did."

Dwight and Takuya made their way back to the highway and couldn't see a single living soul. Or even a dead soul at that. All they could see were a few abandoned Savior trucks that past the point of repair with their trunks empty of walker parts.

Dwight saw the cause of all the trucks braking as he saw a Greyhound bus on its side in the middle of the highway. "Odd," Dwight said while blocking snow from flying straight into his face with his hand. "That wasn't there before when we left Sanctuary."

Takuya looked around at the solitude and huffed in disappointment. "The Saviors weren't planning on saving us from the ditch, were they?" He asked but already knew the answer.

Dwight shook his head. "Doesn't look like they were. Fucking bastards," he muttered. "Well, let's head back. It's gotta be a decent walk back to Sanctuary on foot with the snow. I don't want to be out here longer than I have to."

With that, they both put their hoods from their coats on their heads and walked back to the direction of Sanctuary with only a flashlight leading the way. Exhausted and freezing, Dwight couldn't wait to be out of the cold and get some rest. More importantly, any time away from Sanctuary was time that he felt Sherry was unprotected. It was the only reason why he was even walking back in the direction of his personal hell.

…

They finally reached the gates as the sun started to rise. With the snow falling, it took a lot longer than anticipated to get back to Sanctuary as the whiteout blinded them from seeing clearly with the flashlight. Fortunately, they didn't have any walker trouble on top stormy weather.

The snow continued to fall but the wind was absent. The scene around the Sanctuary fences was almost serene despite the fact that walkers growled in their direction as Dwight and Takuya strolled up to the front gates.

They waited for a small amount of time until Dwight lost his patience. He was only a few steps away from giving Negan a piece of his mind before he allowed himself to get some rest. Dwight wasn't in the mood to wait any longer. "Open the gates!" Dwight yelled towards Sanctuary.

Dwight could see Hansen peak his head from the roof that the Saviors used for a lookout as the older man stared down in disbelief. "You guys are alive?" Hansen shouted above them.

"Yeah, no thanks to you guys! Open the gates!" Dwight demanded.

Hansen raised his hand and held it down to signal to the men below. "You two look like shit. What the hell happened?" He questioned.

Dwight looked down to get a clearer glance at his clothes and saw all the walker blood on him from his walker killing spree after talking to Negan and from also killing the walker's in the truck. He could hardly see an inch of clothing that wasn't covered in gunk. With nightfall and the snow, he didn't think to give himself a good looking as he focused so much on the task at hand. He could imagine he was a sight to make eyes sore.

The gate opened slightly as Takuya and Dwight entered inside Sanctuary. Hansen walked down the stairs to greet them both while Dwight stormed up to him ready to challenge Negan. "Where is he?" Dwight asked Hansen.

Hansen looked to Dwight with curiosity. "Who?" He questioned.

"Where's Negan?" Dwight clarified. "The fucker that left us out there to die!"

"He's at his house," Hansen said as Dwight started heading in that direction without a second thought. "Son, I would suggest you calm down before you say something you will regret," Hansen reasoned as he trailed behind Dwight alongside Takuya.

Dwight continued towards Negan's house regardless of Hansen's warning and opened the white picket fence that led to the front door. He stormed up the porch stairs and quickly knocked on the entryway as obnoxiously and ruthlessly as he could.

He stopped knocking as he could hear people talking inside the house. "Go open the door," Dwight heard Negan bark to someone and soon heard footsteps walking towards front entrance.

The door opened as he was greeted by Brittany who quickly leaned against the threshold and ogled Dwight with an over inviting glimmer in her eyes. "Hello, Dwight," Brittany demurred sweetly as she gazed down at her lingerie while trying to show off her attractive qualities. Dwight ignored Brittany as he shouldered past and stomped inside.

Negan was in the living room sitting on his couch with Megan at his side. He stared at Dwight with shock as it turned into a low chuckle. Dwight could already tell the conversation wasn't going to go anywhere and that even coming to his house was a mistake. Takuya followed Negan inside as he saw her while immediately taking his eyes off of her and stared at the floor with clear unhappiness on his face. Megan looked utterly mortified to have Negan's arm around her waist as she stared at the opposite wall in shame.

"What the fuck was that?" Dwight demanded as he eyed Negan like a maniac.

"You're alive?" Negan looked to Dwight with dismay. "Always next time, I suppose," he said as Brittany sat on his other side preparing a cigar for him.

Dwight stood in front of Negan baffled that the man had no objections to him being buried alive. He knew they weren't always on the best terms but he didn't know how expendable he truly was. After everything that Negan had put him through and everything that Dwight sacrificed, it meant nothing to the leader of the Saviors.

When he was finished gawking, he turned for the front door slowly as the anger fizzled completely away and was replaced with surprise at how much Negan didn't care for the people around him. Even the wives that draped both sides of his shoulders weren't of any value to him. It made Dwight think of how empty Negan's promises were that remained intact based on his word. At the moment, Dwight couldn't trust Negan with any agreements they had in the past. Negan was volatile because he didn't care to keep any kind of commitment. Even the code amongst the Saviors had no meaning.

"Don't forget that Billiard Night is after dawn at the bar," Negan said in a cheerful tone. "Hope to see you there."

Dwight continued to walk towards the front door equally baffled that Negan could go from being an unhinged sociopath to a friendly neighbor in a matter of seconds. "Whatever," Dwight replied blandly as he opened the front door and slammed it shut behind him.

**AUTHOR'S NOTES – Ker-Plunk! I loved that game growing up!**

**Also, I wanted to include at least one community being taken over in Savior fashion. So Book 2, is kind of the beginnings of what they do with the Kingdom and Book 3 will go over what happens what that power takes over everything…. Possibly with slight resistance included.**


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6

October 2011 – One Year in Sanctuary

"_Tell me about these hallucinations that you were experiencing," Kevin urged when Sherry's voice faded off as she stared into the distance. Her eyes read exhaustion while her face held an air of melancholy. It wasn't unusual from when Kevin first met her but he wanted to steer the conversation so they could cover all the fundamentals throughout her personal journey. "You said that you often saw your father?"_

_Sherry nodded as she looked around the room with curiosity and slight agitation. "Why would Negan even care?" She muttered under her breath mostly to herself._

"_Pardon?" Kevin asked politely._

_Sherry stared at him and Kevin instantly felt the need to hide under a rock. Since he had been in the room with her, she had appeared frail and broken. Yet in that moment, she demanded the attention as Kevin let her receive it. He didn't know whether to be overjoyed that she seemed to be getting to a place of courage and ownership of her life or to shrivel in nervousness by the way her eyes bore into his._

"_Why am I here?" She questioned in a voice that sounded unfamiliar to him. He could hear confidence reverberate through her. "Why does Negan want me to talk about my problems? He doesn't care about me!"_

_Kevin looked down to his notebook uncomfortably as he wondered what he could disclose to her. He had an inkling about what was going on but didn't know if that would send her over the edge. "I don't think I'm at liberty to say," he confessed ashamedly. He didn't like to withhold information from any of his patients and liked to be as transparent as possible._

_Sherry stared at him in disbelief. "He was so determined to break me. He wanted me to bend to every demand and not give him any trouble. I feel like a shrink would be back peddling on his plans. Why am I here?" She repeated with an even more powerful voice._

_Kevin looked up from his notes and gazed at her no longer interested in keeping secrets from her. She had a right to know. "Sherry…" Kevin began. "I have not had the…pleasure…of meeting Negan yet. When the Saviors came upon my group, we were immediately taken to Sanctuary and were asked about what our professions before everything happened. I told them that I was a psychiatrist and have been able to help many who were suffering from their own personal demons. When I told them, one of the leaders asked the Saviors to leave the room. He didn't tell me his name. He just told me that he would arrange a meeting based on my area of expertise; to meet with a woman who was greatly affected by previous events. And now we are here." He smiled but saw the genuine fear that read on her face that instantly took place of her determination before._

_Sherry remained quiet as Kevin could see her mind stirring with thoughts as they jostled about effortlessly. A sob broke out from her lips as she sank back down on the couch in defeat. Kevin only sat there to let her ride out the emotions that remained bottled throughout the past several months. Until she started to hyperventilate and shake mildly. He had seen the symptoms before and it gave him caution._

"_Sherry, you are experiencing a panic attack," Kevin said calmly as he stood up from his armchair as slowly as he could. "Don't worry! I'm going to help you through this." He sat on the other side of the couch while tears continued to roll down her cheeks. He had never heard such a panicked cry in all of his days. She held her hands to her heart as she fought to breathe past the uncontrollable sobs._

"_We are going to count to ten, Sherry," Kevin instructed. "Can you do that with me? It will help your breathing even out. Want to try?"_

_Sherry nodded as she sobbed. "One…two…three…four…five…six…" She cried some more as her breathing became even once again._

"_You're doing excellent, Sherry. Four numbers left. You can do it," Kevin assured only so she could try and focus on something else besides the inner fear that was threatening to grab hold._

"_Seven…eight…nine…ten," she whispered slowly as she tried to breathe in through her nose and out through her mouth. The occasional whimper would come up to the surface but she shakily shoved it back down before another wave of panic wiped her out._

_They sat in silence as Kevin tried not to make any sudden movements. He decided to stay on the other side of the couch until Sherry was ready to proceed. "That man that asked you to speak with me?" She started. "Describe him."_

"_Are you sure, Sherry?" Kevin inquired._

_She only nodded as she looked at the painting of the meadow with flowers. Kevin figured at that point, they both knew who they were speaking about._

"_He was very tall; brown hair and brown eyes. Part of his face was…" Kevin started but was cut off when Sherry spoke up._

"_That's Dwight," she confirmed and started to cry again. Kevin could read the difference in tears and didn't sense another panic attack on the rise. Yet, the mourning was almost worse. The weight of the cries was much more heartbroken and made Kevin's soul ache._

_He wasn't too surprised that the man they spoke of was the same man who confronted him. When Dwight approached Kevin, it seemed like an odd request for a man to be so concerned about someone else's wife. Kevin started to easily connect the puzzle pieces together as Sherry's story started to unfold. He almost didn't want to hear where the story would end._

_Kevin looked to Sherry as she cried and decided to give her a Kleenex on the coffee table. She took it and dabbed her eyes as if she hadn't been crying as hard as she was. "I'm sorry; I'm such a mess!" She sniffled with an unsteady voice._

_Kevin shook his head. "Never apologize! It's very healthy to have a good cry every so often. That was this saying that I have heard a long time ago but I believe to be true. It goes like, 'people cry not because they're weak; it's because they've been strong for too long,'" Kevin encouraged._

"_I don't feel strong," she admitted helplessly._

"_Sherry, I don't know the whole story but from what you have told me so far…well…you are one of the strongest people I have ever met. The sacrifices that you have made for the group over your own well-being are remarkable! But now it's time to focus on getting back to at least a fragment of what you used to be. I believe that once you get out of your gloom, you will be stronger than you have ever been. What doesn't kill you only makes you stronger," Kevin optimized._

_He went on, "This Dwight. He seems to really worry about you; he cares about you." When Kevin said that, another tear rolled down her cheek as she didn't even bother to wipe it away. He decided to not focus on Dwight for the time being and continued. "You have friends that you want you to be happy. Despite what your circumstances are, even though we have only known each other for a small duration, I hope that one day you will consider me a friend. As your friend, I want you to be happy."_

_Sherry smiled weakly but Kevin still took it as a good sign. "You have no idea what I was like before all of this. I used to be someone everyone could depend on. I was a leader. Now I'm just a waste of space," she said and sniffled again._

"_You are absolutely not! Having a position where everyone depends on you is difficult. What makes it difficult is when you try and do everything by yourself and you simply can't. Emotionally, it's a struggle. Not everyone is cut out for it. I believe you can be a leader under better circumstances without this Negan in the picture. He seems to have messed with your plans a bit, hasn't he?" Kevin asked trying to cheer her up._

"_I hate him so much!" Sherry exclaimed as new tears started to form. "I wish that we never ran into him. I feel like we could have fared better out there with dead over Sanctuary."_

_Kevin gave her a sad smile and walked back to his chair. "You may not see it yet, but I am an optimist. I think your recovery is right around the corner," he encouraged again while looking down at his notebook. "Would you like to continue with what we were talking about before?" He asked._

_Sherry gave a small laugh. "I kind of got us off topic, didn't I?" She said._

"_That's quite alright. If you still feel the need to talk about something else, we can go as off topic as you need us to," he replied._

_She shook her head. "No," she said quietly. Kevin couldn't help but notice she was back to the shell of what he saw earlier with her spunk sinking back into lying dormant inside._

_He looked to his notes to get back on track. "Ah!" He exclaimed as he remembered where they had left off. "Describe the first time you saw hallucinations."_

…

February 2011 – Four Months in Sanctuary

…

"I love the snow falling like this," Yolanda hummed as she looked out the living room window in the girl's home. With the fireplace still burning to keep the cold at bay, she looked to the bookcase to find anything worth reading but instead appeared dismayed when she discovered most of the material had already been read. She saw a young adult fiction novel about vampires and rolled her eyes as she picked it up. "What else do I have to do?" She muttered to herself.

"It isn't that bad," Christy encouraged. "Definitely an easy read."

Christy and Yolanda heard a creak on the stairs as they both turned to see Sherry sit on the bottom step and lean against the wall next to her. Her eyes were still closed as Yolanda headed towards her worriedly.

"How much sleep did you get?" Yolanda asked strictly.

Sherry opened her eyes slightly and, just as she suspected, saw Yolanda with arms folded across her chest. It reminded her of her own mother with the constant pestering and loving concern. A smirk landed across Sherry's lips feeling amused at Yolanda's demeanor. "Maybe an hour?" She replied unsure if that was a correct hypothesis.

"No," Yolanda shook her head while trying to usher Sherry back up the stairs. "You go back up there and get some rest. It's not healthy to stay awake for long periods of time."

Sherry gently moved past Yolanda's persistence and quickly walked into the living room before she could catch up to her. Once Sherry crashed on the couch besides Christy, she turned to Yolanda with pity on herself. "Every time my head hits that pillow, I am wide awake. I can't go back in my bed. It's too aggravating to even relax," Sherry said as she could feel a lump form in her throat. She was almost desperate to catch a small amount of shut eye and knew her mind was the worse for it.

Yolanda turned on her heel towards the kitchen. "Do we have any medicine that helps with sleep?" She asked over her shoulder.

Sherry snorted. "Like it would be here," she muttered as she rested her head on the couch while Christy gazed at her with concern.

"Did I keep you awake last night with all of my crying and feeling sorry for myself?" Christy inquired kindly.

Sherry shook her head insistently. "No! Even if you were sound asleep last night, I would have still been tossing and turning. My mind just starts racing when I lay in bed," she finished venting and gazed out the window with a huff. "It just sucks."

Yolanda entered the room again and sat on the other side of the couch. "No nighttime medicine," she stated.

"I suspected as much," Sherry said halfheartedly. "Has Megan made it back home yet?"

Christy looked at Sherry with knowing eyes that could only read a melancholy emotion. "She was at Negan's all night."

Sherry's heart twisted inside thinking about Megan's current circumstance. Since Negan had kept his distance from Sherry, she didn't need to worry about being around him. She knew the reason why he was shying away from her was because the last time they were under the same roof, she handcuffed him to the bedpost in a drunken stupor and tried to escape Sanctuary. He feigned it was because he felt guilty for punishing her but she refused to believe that was the explanation. Negan had trust issues with Sherry as much as she had for him. She began to wonder why she was worth all the hassle for him. _Why won't he just let me go?_

She continued to look outside and saw two figures on the main road that were heading towards their home. She knew almost immediately that it was Dwight and Takuya as she remembered the way Dwight always strode around with such a confident character. Even with his attitude still intact, Sherry watched as his shoulders slouched forward as they settled in the tiredness that he must have felt. She gasped quietly at how much walker blood was on his clothes, face, and even in his short beard. She wished she could make his day better by just being at his side. Sherry was unsure if that would even bring Dwight joy. Did he even like her anymore? Or did he give up on the hope that they would be together one day? She wished she had the answers to his thoughts but only relied on the kiss he gave his only the day before. He embraced her with much passion and tenderness but still didn't have a clue what it all meant. The kiss was also full of mutual heartache which made it difficult to be swept away in grandeur. It was almost a kiss of goodbye.

"I wonder what they do outside those gates," Christy whispered as she looked in the same direction that Sherry was still staring at.

"Yeah," Sherry said absentmindedly as she watched Takuya and Dwight saunter inside their house next door. She felt a hand fold over hers and gazed towards Christy who now knew of Dwight and Sherry's past relationship. Christy squeezed Sherry's hand tightly in support as Sherry returned the gesture and continued to survey the street outside.

She watched the snow fall as she saw people go back and forth about their business. Things almost seemed to look normal and right within Sanctuary. The scene in front of her could almost be called serene but immediately put Sherry in unease. She knew that feeling of peace was only a façade and that Sanctuary's under belly came from a very wicked place.

Then Sherry saw a figure in the near distance that made her heart skip a beat. There, on the other side of the road, stood a man who watched Sherry with his arms folded over his chest. He stood perfectly still almost like he wasn't even breathing as he kept his watchful vigil on her. She felt as if someone sucker punched her in the lungs and gut alike as she put a hand over her chest. Was what she was experiencing real? She even blinked several times but he was still there.

Sherry saw her father, Vincent Ciccone, standing in the middle of Sanctuary with his police uniform.

"Sherry?" Christy asked next to her but it sounded quiet and muffled as if she there was a five foot brick wall in between them. "Are you okay?"

Sherry looked towards Christy then back towards her dad in disbelief. "You see him, don't you? That man on the sidewalk across the street?" Sherry quizzed desperately as she could feel her eyes widen with shock.

Christy kept her face in Sherry's direction but side eyed the window with skepticism by the way Sherry was acting. Sherry saw the immediate worry on Christy's face but chose to ignore it and easily justified that she wasn't looking hard enough. "No…" Christy said slowly as if talking to a child.

Sherry turned her face quickly back towards her father worried that he left her. When she still saw him as clear as day, Sherry bolted up the stairs to get warm clothes on to go outside and reunite with her long lost relative. She would periodically glance out her bedroom window to see if he was still there. Sure enough, he didn't leave his spot on the sidewalk. It was just how she still pictured him in her dreams as her old life seemed to be a distant memory that didn't even belong to her anymore. His hairline was receding as the top of his head was almost completely bald. He wore his bushy black mustache the same way he did since the day she was born. He had a gut on his torso from her mother's cooking and getting older.

Her father started walking towards the gate when Sherry reached for her socks and shoes with alarm. She couldn't let him go away from her. Not when she was so close to seeing him. She had so much to tell him. Sherry raced down the stairs and sat on the first step to get her footwear on as fast as she possibly could.

Yolanda just watched her from the kitchen entryway as she leaned against the threshold. Sherry could feel the burning stare on her and knew Yolanda thought she was crazy. "Sherry?" She asked.

"He's out there," Sherry reasoned as she could feel herself getting emotional. Her father had finally found her and had come to her rescue. She knew he would.

Once her shoes were on, she walked out the door and onto the porch with Yolanda right on her heels. Sherry looked to the direction of the gate and saw her dad slowly walking towards it. She started to walk in his direction with more skip in her step than she had in a long time. Memories of her childhood growing up came flooding back as she thought of the countless times he read her a bedtime story, Christmas morning at home, riding roller coasters with him on daddy-daughter dates to the amusement park; her mind continued to think about all of the happy moments as she got closer to him.

"Sherry, honey. I think you need to go back to the house and rest," Yolanda instructed cautiously behind her.

Sherry turned around to look at Yolanda with slight irritation at the thought of falling asleep. "Right now? I can't right now. I'm okay, Yolanda. Really!"

"Sherry, I don't think what you are looking for is actually there," Yolanda said as she looked over Sherry's shoulder eerily.

Sherry turned around and her dad was facing her with a warm smile on his face. Sherry couldn't shake the feeling that something was incredibly off about his arrival in Sanctuary but she chose to ignore it. He was right in front of her. She could visibly see him with her own eyes just as easily as she could see Yolanda. Instead of stepping closer to Yolanda and reality, she chose to walk towards her father.

As she walked over to him, he turned away from her and continued walking towards the gate. Yolanda still kept a safe closeness to Sherry just in case she led herself towards danger. Sherry only wished Yolanda knew how overdramatic she was being. Sherry wished she understood that their nightmare in Sanctuary was nearly over with her dad there. He wouldn't stand Negan's injustices towards every one of the Saviors.

Her father stopped inches away from the gate. Sherry felt elated at how close he was and started to reach her arm out towards him. "Sherry! No!" Yolanda yelled behind her. Sherry glanced over her shoulder in question then turned back to see her father no longer looking like the man who had raised her. Instead, he was in the form of a walker; limbless and attached to the gate as part of the Saviors camouflage.

She shrieked at the horrendous sight and jumped backwards to get far away. Sherry blinked several times and saw that the walker on the gates wasn't even her father at all but simply a random walker that bit at her angrily.

Sherry continued to scream at the top of her lungs as the image of her father as a walker replayed in her head over and over again. She could see the others in Sanctuary look to her in either annoyance or concern as she felt herself slipping into insanity. She felt her body slump to the ground in instant exhaustion. The excitement that immediately changed to despair was too much for her sleep depraved mentality as the snow on the ground hit her head softly like a pillow. Her eyes closed as she passed out with Yolanda trying to shake her back to consciousness.

…

Dwight looked at himself in the mirror after he turned the shower on and waited for it to warm up. As he saw his reflection, he saw all the dried and rotted walker blood on his face as it smeared on his skin and beard alike. _Who the hell are you, man? _He opened the mirror compartment and produced a razor and shaving cream while taking a final look at the monstrosity on his face.

_It's time, _he thought as he prepared to shave it all off. Dwight smirked slightly when he instantly thought of his brother John. If he was alive, John still would have found time to shave. Dwight didn't really think the same way but he looked at himself and all the walker blood stuck to his beard; he figured it was time for a needed change.

He didn't shave all of it off but left a little stubble that he thought would be easy to maintain versus shaving his beard clean off and having to shave every day. He looked to himself and saw a small glimpse of his old self before this world became the norm. He thought better of the sentiment and realized that he would never be the same person again no matter how difficult he tried.

He jumped into the shower as it got mildly warm with his main focus on getting all the blood of his face and out of his hair. He worked vigorously before the water got unbearably cold as he thought it would be a good idea to take a nap before Billiard Night then turned the water off and quickly dried himself with his towel feeling instantly cold from the temperature inside the house.

Once all of his clothes were on, he heard a faint scream in the distance. He paused in full alert as the terrified cries progressed. Instinctually, he walked out of the bathroom and towards his winter boots that sat next to the front door as he took a look outside his window to observe what was going on. As he scanned the streets and got his boots on simultaneously, he saw in the distance near the front gates Sherry falling to the snow as Yolanda ran to her in panic.

"Sherry!" He heard Yolanda cry.

His heart beat faster with fear driving him to get his walker stained coat on and ran outside of his house towards Sherry. As he rushed at the scene, he passed Negan's house at the same time Negan stepped out in the cold and started moving to where Sherry laid in the snow. Dwight slowed his pace as he watched Negan kneel in front of Sherry and tenderly pick up her wrist to check her vitals.

"What happened?" Negan barked as he looked to Yolanda. 

"She's delirious! She was going on about seeing this man who wasn't even there! Sherry just snapped out of whatever she thought was happening and started to scream," Yolanda explained in frustration and worry.

Negan looked to Yolanda with annoyance evident on his face. "Fuck, Yolanda. Haven't you been taking care of my girls for me?" He snapped.

"They aren't getting enough food or sleep!" Yolanda bravely retorted with anguish. "I can only do so much to keep their health under the circumstances."

Negan put his arms underneath Sherry's body and picked her off the frigid ground and glanced at Yolanda with a presumptuous smile. "See? She's sleeping like a rock right now. That's a good sign," he established with self-assured pride.

Yolanda glowered at Negan as if she wanted to blow up in his face and give him a piece of her mind but Dwight walked over to her and held her forearm. He shook his head slightly so she would know it was better to not say a word. When Yolanda's arm relaxed, Dwight took his gaze off her and watched as Negan walked towards his home with Sherry still in his arms. It made Dwight's stomach turn whenever he saw them both in close proximity to each other.

"She'll be fine," Negan proclaimed over his shoulder. "Sherry and I will both see you guys later tonight at the bar." With that, he continued his step towards his home leaving Yolanda and Dwight to look on in exasperation.

They watched until they both disappeared into Negan's house and Yolanda began to shake with anger. "Dwight, rabbits get bigger portions sizes than those girls do. Sherry hasn't slept for God knows how long. He's going to kill them by the way that he is treating them."

Dwight didn't know what to say to make Yolanda feel better only because the rage inside him was only feeding the flames that were already ignited. He could only feel anger that despite whatever lengths he was doing to protect Sherry, it seemed insignificant if Negan was slowly killing her.

"What do we do?" Yolanda asked desperately.

After several seconds of quiet while the snow fell above them, Dwight finally answered. "I don't know. At this point, we might need a miracle." They stood there for a while longer feeling completely helpless as they wondered what the future held for the members of the group that were still alive.

…

Sherry slowly opened her eyes and immediately felt her whole body was covered in blankets. It wasn't like waking up in her house where the air was always chilly. As her eyes focused, she could see that she was in her old bedroom in Negan's house. The warm atmosphere was almost inviting as Sherry tried to wash that feeling away to instead loathe everything about being at Negan's once more. The last time that she was in the house was when she successfully got him to drink too much and escaped. The memory was tied to a lot of bitter moments as she stubbornly got the blanket off her with indignation.

The door opened and Negan came inside with a food tray and a repulsive grin as he politely feigned a smile back while groaning inwardly at his presence. "Look who's awake? You weren't out for too long." He observed as he put the food tray on the nightstand next to the bed. There she saw chicken noodle soup with a cup of coffee on the side.

"How long _was _I out?" She asked him and looked to the food skeptically.

"Maybe thirty minutes, if that," he responded as he leaned against the antique dresser parallel to the bed. "I had enough time to warm up some food for you though."

Sherry sat up and looked at Negan's expectant face. She rolled her eyes and reached for the food tray as Negan quickly stepped forward to reach for it himself and placed it on the bed in front of her. "Don't strain yourself too much, Sherry," he reprimanded gently almost like an impatient father.

When she picked up the spoon to quickly dig in, she gazed at the food with longing but felt torn. It would be the most that she had eaten in months but Negan cooked it himself. It also would go against the strike she had in order to show how much she hated him.

"Something wrong?" Negan asked as he sat in the rocking chair on the opposite side of the room.

"I don't trust you. Therefore, I don't trust the food," she stated boldly.

He rolled his eyes and chuckled as he leaned forward in his seat. "After all that rambling on from Yolanda… You can't be _that _starving then."

Sherry looked up to him curious about when Yolanda spoke to him about her. Assuming that the conversation happened when she slipped into unconsciousness, she decided to respond to his remark with complete honesty. "I _am _starving; I'm just not desperate," she mumbled as she folded her arms in front of her.

They sat in silence for several seconds as Negan twiddled his thumbs trying to figure out what to say. Then slowly he started to laugh while deep into his thoughts. Sherry eyed him like he was on crack. "You okay?" She inquired with one eyebrow raised.

His cackle died down but the smile still lingered on his face. "I don't know what it is about you. Sometimes I just can't stop thinking about you," he confessed and looked up to her with slight vulnerability.

Sherry gawked at him as he just disclosed his developing crush on her. "Sorry to inconvenience you," she replied coldly.

His mood was somewhat deflated by her remark but his smile remained with different intent. "Oh, come on, Miss High and Mighty. You have to feel something for me too," Negan goaded. "You said you loved me before."

"Yeah, the circumstances around what I said that were really romantic," Sherry quipped as she thought of when she was under torture from Negan because she escaped Sanctuary. At the time, she felt like she had no other choice but to sound as agreeable as possible only to make him stop beating her.

For once his face looked repentant and less amused as he locked eyes with her. "Will you ever really forgive me for that?" He questioned.

She looked down to break his gaze and shook her head. "Some bridges will just remain burned. So far, you have a lot of strikes against you before I even consider building any trust with you."

Negan looked to her confused. "Like?" He quizzed

Sherry glared at him with thin eyes. "Really? You want to go there?" She grilled back.

He shrugged and leaned back into his rocking chair to get more comfortable as if knowing it would take a while for both of them to get things off their chest. "Sure, why the fuck not? You haven't been doing too well with brownie points either," he scolded as if the statement made them even.

"Oh no, I would hate to fall short on my wifely duties," she said sarcastically with an over-dramatic flair. "I worry so much about going above and beyond with you."

"See?" Negan exclaimed with one hand gesturing towards her. "That would be the right kind of attitude to have. How about I go first? We haven't done the literal fucking deed yet. We've been married for four fucking months and absolutely nothing."

"I feel so bad for you," Sherry mocked not skipping a beat. "Can I ask how long you have been celibate for that amount of time?"

"Why? Are you jealous?" He asked as a wry grin formed on his face and winked at her.

She scrunched up her face in disgust. "Ugh! No! I'm just saying that it's not like you are going without needs with Brittany or the other girls. Now it's my turn. You are a manipulative asshole and have used your wives to get what you want from them. That's most definitely a strike against you."

"Well, you don't fucking appreciate what I do for you. Strike two!" He replied back with his voice rising to match hers.

Sherry remained quiet as she fumed inside. She sighed and opened her mouth determined to have the final word. If he wanted to have their conversation, she was going to let him have it. "Maybe I am ungrateful and maybe I haven't put out. But I am not the one who killed Hannah or Dean. I am not the one who forces Dwight to kill others on a daily basis. I am not the one who screws innocent girls that didn't think they had any other choice." She stood up from the bed and stared him down. "I sure as hell don't starve people and then call them my property. That is why I will never let you have me. Ever. I will never be _grateful _for the life you have given me and I will _never _love you."

She started to make her way out of the room but her heart started to race when she heard his tenacious steps behind her. Negan quickly and forcefully grabbed her forearm while pushing her against the wall next to the door. Flashbacks entered her mind of when he last beat her as she struggled to get out of his grasp. He pinned his body against hers while angry tears started to form in her eyes at the helplessness she felt.

"Let's have one thing be perfectly clear. You may never reciprocate your feelings but you will never talk to me like that again. And just a heads up that the more you fight, the more of a turn on it is for me so you aren't doing yourself any fucking favors. You are my _wife," _Negan said as he shook her body with his last word. "Someday you will learn to act like it for once, goddammit." With that, he let her go as she fell in a heap to the floor.

She soon felt exhausted again from the events of the day as she thought of everything that had transpired. She saw her father like she would a mirage and then quarreled with Negan with which she hoped he would hardly talk to her anymore. What made it worse was that Negan seemed more enraged than ever.

"I'm going home," Sherry managed to say without seeking his approval as she got on her feet.

She made it halfway down the stairs and heard his voice again. "Remember to come to Billiard Night. I want to show all my girls off to the men," he said while his voice echoed throughout the house.

Sherry fought the tears away and focused on the wall next to the stairs. There, she could still see the bloodstains from one of the previous fights that they had within his home. "Whatever," she responded as she walked out of the house.

…

Sherry sat on her bed and stared at the opposite wall in the room. All she could do was stare into oblivion as she thought of seeing her father earlier that day. She didn't have the energy or motivation to do anything else other than look at a white wall that threatened to consume her with grief. She felt buried in it but refused to find a silver lining. It almost felt like an insult to remain optimistic.

The door creaked open as Christy came in with some new lingerie in her possession. Sherry rolled her eyes at the sight and looked to the wall again for comfort. "Our uniform tonight for Billiard's?" She was almost too afraid to ask.

Christy nodded and placed Sherry's items on her bed beside her. "At least we all match and the color will go well with your skin tone," she teased quietly while Sherry stared down at the cream colored lace.

"It looks expensive," She observed. "Where does he find this shit?"

Christy shrugged in response and sat next to Sherry as she reached for her hand. "Are you okay?" She asked.

Sherry shook her head. "I thought my dad was here. The idea even seemed plausible to me that he would have stumbled upon Sanctuary and was able to somehow know I was here. I see that it was stupid to think like that but at the moment it just didn't compute with me. Didn't even cross my mind. He was there. I could see him and that was all that mattered," she revealed with a sunken voice. "I'm going crazy."

They sat quietly as they both leaned on each for support and stared at the wall together. "Remember when I told you that I see my husband often?" Christy quizzed. "I think I'm going crazy too."

Sherry looked at Christy and then put her head on her shoulder once more. They had nothing more to say as they both stared at the wall and were too tired and hungry to do anything else.


	7. Chapter 7

**AUTHOR'S NOTE – There will be no chapter updates from September 30th-October 7****th**** as I will be on vacation in Chicago visiting family for that duration.**

Chapter 7

Sanctuary had one bar in their little community much to the delight of everyone in town. Negan's favorite thing to do to wind down after scouting for other people and walkers alike was to have a Billiard Night where every Savior was welcome to drink shots and bet games on pool. Every Savior that wasn't on duty at the gates was required to attend.

Billiard Night was a wagering event as Negan would play against Saviors. Whoever was lucky enough to beat him was awarded generous amounts of rations with whatever they needed. Most contestants asked for more food however there was yet to be someone who could outplay Negan in pool. Even Sherry had to admit that he was really talented with the game. Much to her dismay.

Sherry detested going to the bar for the wild event. As it was a requirement for every Savior to go, it was also an obligation that Negan's wives be in attendance with their "special" attire. Whenever there was a Billiard Night, Sherry always felt humiliated and was unappreciative of the catcalls thrown in the direction of her and her friends. The girls typically sat in the back corner of the bar around a small table as they tried to keep to themselves. But as the night progressed, the Saviors would get louder and louder while they become more intoxicated by the alcohol. Yolanda was behind the bar and served everyone shots when Negan asked her to. She would often stay close to the girls when she had the time as she also was not fond of the attention some Saviors bestowed upon her.

More Saviors walked into the bar ready to join the party. As the girls kept to themselves, Megan smiled shyly while looking up to see who entered the bar. She quickly snuffed her happy demeanor and stared down at the table in front of her.

Sherry noticed Megan's change in attitude and turned her attention to the front entrance to see what the matter was. Then she could see Takuya glancing back in their direction with only eyes for Megan. Sherry grinned at the attraction that seemed to be happening between the two but instantly felt sad that their relationship wouldn't go anywhere with Negan in the way.

When Takuya stepped to the side, Sherry got a clear view of Dwight as her heart skipped a beat when they made eye contact for a split second. Like Megan, she took her gaze away from the entrance and looked at a nearby wall instead. Her face blushed from embarrassment as she remembered what she was wearing. She sighed in frustration while her face felt warm with shame.

Christy glanced at Dwight and then to Sherry. "He's still looking at you." She mentioned as she elbowed Sherry's bare stomach.

Sherry continued to stare at the brick wall with her ears feeling like they were going to burn off. "I know." She muttered. She could almost feel his gaze scorch a hole in the back of her head.

"Must be the makeup." Ashlyn piped up with a quick wink. Negan had also insisted that they get dolled up with their hair and makeup done. After nearly a year of an apocalypse, Sherry got used to not wearing makeup at all. Sherry was used to wearing a ridiculous amount of cosmetics for dance recitals and competitions growing up but it only felt stupid to use it in their circumstance.

As some Saviors jumbled about the room uproariously, a drunkard in his mid-twenties stumbled over in their direction trying to play it off as if he didn't even the girls standing right next to them, despite being completely evident in his intentions. He smiled dumbly as he bobbed his head as if there was lively music playing in the background. Sherry could smell that he reeked of one too many drinks as he tried to stand closer and closer to the girls. He inched over towards Amanda and placed his hand on her lower back with his fingers grazing near her panty line.

Sherry felt as if she could breathe fire and looked around for anything to use against the Savior. She spotted an empty pint glass that Christy had in her hand and gestured towards it. "Are you finished with this?" She inquired.

Christy nodded as Sherry took it by the handle. She then tapped the man on the shoulder to get his attention. "Hey!" She yelled over the noise of the other men in the room.

The man turned to face Sherry with the same plastered smile as she slammed the pint glass right on the nose. The man reeled backwards from the force as he quickly held his hand to his face while the rest of the glass shattered to the ground. He soon fell to the floor unable to keep himself up while the Saviors around him laughed. Some gazed at Sherry clearly impressed that she would react in such a way to protect her friend's virtue. The man seemed to have passed out as most of the Saviors were oblivious to the scuffle at all. Some men soon started to trip over his body unaware of his existence.

Amanda gave Sherry a side hug. "Thank you." She whispered in Sherry's ear.

Sherry smiled and gave Amanda a squeeze. "Don't mention it." When she let go of Amanda, she looked at her right hand that held the glass and saw that it was bleeding slightly. A small sliver of glass protruded from one of her knuckles. She quickly picked it away as Christy handed her a napkin. Sherry nodded in gratitude towards Christy while pressing the napkin on her wounded hand.

Ashlyn embraced her younger sister while shaking. "Are you okay, Amanda?" She asked protectively.

Amanda had a few tears in her eyes. "Thanks to Sherry." She replied.

Christy nudged Sherry again and nodded towards the opposite side of the bar. "Looks like Dwight approved of that." She muttered under her breath for only Sherry to hear. Sherry dared to glance in his direction and saw Dwight looking amused at her spunk she exhibited. He raised his glass to her as Sherry smiled warmly back. He nodded at her and took a drink as she continued to watch him. They kept staring at each other as the noise in the bar started to fall away around them. It was almost as if Sherry was experiencing tunnel vision. She could only see Dwight. Everything else seemed inconsequential in that moment.

Suddenly Negan shouted in victory as all the girls jumped from the noise. Sherry snapped out of her daydreaming and saw that Negan had won yet another round of pool. The contender that Negan was fighting against smiled but appeared disheartened at losing an exuberant amount of rations.

"Brittany, give me the hat." Negan ordered.

Brittany, whose lingerie was always too small in the bust line, waltzed over with a top hat. Inside the hat were names of every Savior in attendance. Whoever had their name drawn was able to play against Negan for whatever they wanted from the supply building.

As Sherry watched Brittany put her arms around the back of Negan's neck in obvious admiration, she couldn't understand Brittany's method of survival in the slightest. Many times Sherry would attempt to discern Brittany and her obnoxious personality but would always end up clashing with her. Sherry understood that it stemmed from their different viewpoints of Negan. Sherry despised him and Brittany couldn't seem to get enough of him. All Sherry saw when she spoke with Negan was a man who couldn't take no for an answer.

Whenever Sherry thought about Brittany, she became more consternated at the fact that Negan couldn't let his other wives off the hook. It was indisputable that Brittany was the only that even enjoyed Negan's attention and it seemed she truly wanted to be by his side. Sherry already accepted that they wouldn't be able to leave Sanctuary but it wouldn't have been too much to ask to have a small fraction of normalcy.

When Sherry thought of what life would have been like if she wasn't Negan's wife, she looked to Dwight again. She was partially surprised to see him still staring at her. They looked at each other longingly until they heard Negan shout the next opponent.

"CARSON!" Negan yelled. "You're up!" Brittany cheered next to Negan with a high pitched squeal and then gave him a kiss on the cheek much to the disgust of Sherry and the girls. It didn't take long for Negan to take equal part in the kiss as he made out with her on the spot. Sherry could taste bile rising from her throat as she had to look away from the horrendous display.

"Christy, hand me a cigar!" Negan shouted several moments later.

Christy rolled her eyes and picked up the cigar kit that was sitting on the middle of the table at the ready. "This is my life now. Getting a cigar ready for the husband." She mumbled sardonically as she cut the tip off one of the cigars in the wooden box.

Ashlyn and Amanda turned their attention towards Yolanda who came over to their table with several drinks. "All of you look like you need it." Yolanda stated and put the drinks on the surface between all of them. Sherry could admit the one good perk about Billiard Night. The girls were encouraged to drink only to be a little looser with their personalities. Sherry didn't think it was the best idea to drink with an empty stomach but justified it by being a sort of sustenance.

Christy walked over to the pool table with the cigar and lighter. Sherry couldn't help but notice every Savior staring in the direction of Christy's backside as she made her way to Negan's other side. Unable to take any more of the misogynistic attitude that overthrew the bar she turned to Yolanda. "I could most definitely use a drink right now."

"Good. I have your favorite." Yolanda replied as she handed her a glass of what appeared to be red wine.

Sherry smiled at the thoughtfulness that was Yolanda and took a sip. "This is perfect." She reported with satisfaction.

Yolanda sat next to Sherry on a bar stool and smiled to her. "I vaguely remember you saying that you were Catholic before all of this happened, correct?" Yolanda inquired.

Sherry smiled. "I think I might still be Catholic." She raised her glass. "Long live the Pope." She said with bittersweet sadness and took another drink.

"I am Catholic too." Yolanda said while Sherry noticed she said it in present tense. "Wine was almost part of the religion, wasn't it? I come from a very Mexican traditional family. When I drink wine now it just brings the fond memories back." She said as she poured herself a glass from the bottle on the table.

"I'm glad someone else gets the appeal." Sherry responded. "Did your family live in Georgia?"

Yolanda looked off into the distance deep in thought. "I was born in Georgia and my parents were immigrants. When I was twenty-five, they were deported back to Mexico." She looked down to her lap with solemnity. "They didn't ever try to make it back to the States. However, my siblings and I would visit them twice a year. My brother and sisters all went to college and got great jobs. My dad was so proud of us getting the American Dream that he had always wanted for us. I'm happy that I made my family proud. When my siblings got their jobs, they moved to different parts of the country."

"Where?" Sherry asked while intrigued by Yolanda's story. Never once had Yolanda opened up about her family before. She loved getting to know where one of her favorite people came from.

"I'm not boring you yet?" Yolanda questioned. "I feel like I'm rambling too much."

Sherry shook her head. "Anything to get my mind off where I am right now and what I am wearing. Plus, I am genuinely interested in the topic. I haven't heard much about your family." She urged so Yolanda could tell her more.

"Well then," Yolanda said with her face brightening up. Whenever anyone confided to her about their previous family, they would immediately be in better spirits. People often spoke about their earlier lives in passing but it was a special treat to get someone to listen to it all to help relive the special moments. "I have three younger siblings. Juan is two years younger than me and lives in Detroit. Then there is Mariana who lives in Hawaii." Yolanda appeared to be in thought as she looked to the ceiling. "I have always wondered how her location faired with an island and walkers. She lives on Oahu where a lot of others live. I hope her family is okay and pulled through. Then my youngest sister, Sofia, moved to Utah with her husband."

"What part of Mexico did your parents live in?" Sherry asked.

"They were originally from Mexico City but moved to Cozumel after they were deported. My parents learned English very well while they were living in Atlanta and figured that working in a tourist town and owning a small souvenir shop would prove to be fruitful. They were right and ended up doing pretty well for themselves." Yolanda said proudly.

Yolanda reflected on her past life and family with deep admiration. Sherry loved hearing her speak about her love for her parents. She herself felt incredibly distant from where things were only ten months ago but to hear Yolanda speak about her past as if it was yesterday sounded poetic and beautiful to Sherry. "Cozumel and Hawaii, eh? Those places sound a lot warmer than here." Sherry added lightheartedly.

Yolanda snickered in response. "Yeah, I guess if they are living or dead, they are in paradise regardless, aren't they?" She smiled distantly as they heard shouts from the pool table while Negan appeared victorious once again. Both of his arms went around Christy and Brittany's shoulders as Sherry could see Carson looking somewhat disgruntled but grinned for the sake of being amiable and not getting a rise out of Negan.

"Yolanda! Shots all around!" Negan yelled. The men cheered for more alcohol as Yolanda ambled back to the bar to pour liquor in every shot glass she could find.

…

Carson trudged over to where Dwight and Takuya were sitting once the game was over and smiled dejectedly. "I wasn't really trying." He admitted.

"From the look of Hansen when he beat Negan in ping pong a couple months ago, I bet everyone hardly tries to win." Dwight divulged as he thought of one of their first nights in Sanctuary. It was one of the first times that Dwight realized that their group was dealing with a maniac.

Carson glanced at Dwight's knuckles and grimaced as Dwight took another sip of his drink. "You should get those looked at. That looks really bad." He suggested.

Dwight took a look at the already stained bandages and shrugged. "They look worse than they feel." He assured. "Although Takuya got a nasty cut on his forehead from our car accident. Right, Tak?" He asked to transition a conversation that included Takuya as well. When Takuya didn't answer, Dwight looked to see him staring across the room at Megan.

Dwight put his hand in front of Takuya's face and waved. "Hey! You're making yourself look too obvious. Stop staring." He warned.

Takuya smirked and eyed Dwight knowingly. "I'll stop staring if you stop staring." He countered.

Dwight didn't say anything in reply but knew he was guilty for stealing a couple of glances at Sherry. There was hardly a time where Dwight and Sherry were able to be in the same room. Whenever she was around, he couldn't help but peek in her direction. Every so often, Sherry would look at him but her face would immediately blush from his attention. He knew she felt uncomfortable wearing the things Negan made all of his wives slip on. Out of respect for Sherry, Dwight did his very best to not glance at her from the neck down.

He felt annoyed for her as he already heard more than once some Saviors say what terrible things they would do to Negan's wives if they had the chance. It physically took his everything he had to not react violently upon hearing the way the Saviors spoke. Otherwise he would have to beat up everyone in the bar. Alcohol and aggression seemed to fuel the Saviors perverted words where it was difficult for them to see the limitations that they world still held. Sanctuary and its people inherited the attitude of claiming things that didn't belong to them. The line was blurred on how the Saviors treated those around them. Negan's wives were especially treated with more disrespect than anyone else in their community.

Brittany picked up the top hat and gave it to Negan as he shook his head. "No, no, no! This time I want to select the next contestant!" He yelled while the room fell silent. Negan focused on everyone within the bar as he turned around in a small circle to see who he deemed a worthwhile opponent. The Saviors watched him with trepidation as they all hoped that they wouldn't be chosen.

Finally, Negan's gaze fell on Dwight as he pointed to him sternly. "You and me, buddy." He said as the men slowly started to cheer for the next match to begin. Negan nodded to Brittany and Christy on his sides as he glanced towards his other wives. "Go sit down, ladies. Daddy has a fucking game to win." He said.

"Yes you do, babe!" Brittany exclaimed as she patted Negan on the hindquarters. He slapped her butt in return while she skipped to the other girls while Dwight saw the look of revulsion on Sherry's face. He found Brittany's disposition to be somewhat distasteful himself. He stood up as he watched Christy sitting next to Sherry while they both exchanged a look of empathy.

Dwight walked up to the pool table and grabbed a cue stick and chalk cube that were sitting idly by. Negan watched Dwight as he took a puff of his cigar. "What's your wager?" He asked.

"Three months' worth of rations if I win." Dwight said evenly. The room fell silent for the second time that night when they heard Dwight's request. Suddenly Negan snorted and slowly started to laugh. Everyone else chimed in with their own drunken howls.

"Okay, okay." Negan said as he tried to get himself to stop laughing. "I have never seen you play Billiards before. Would that be a very wise course of action for me?"

Dwight shrugged. "You were the one who wanted to play in the first place. If you want to back down, all you have to do is say so." Dwight gibed.

The crowed muttered their disapproval at Dwight's snark remark. Dwight eyed Sherry for a split second and saw she was grinning subtly. Negan gave Dwight a dirty look as he didn't like the idea of backing down from a game only for the fear of losing and then took another drag from his cigar. "I will take your bet." Negan said as he tried to play it off that he was not the least bit worried. "It'll be fun beating your ass to the ground, Orlich."

Dwight chalked his pool cue never taking his eyes off Negan as he set up the table. "You can still back out." Dwight taunted.

Negan smiled menacingly. "I wouldn't dream of it." He replied and then took a coin out of his pocket. "Winner breaks. Heads or tails. Call it in the air." He then threw the coin on the air. "Tails."

"Heads." Dwight muttered as Negan caught the coin. They both leaned over to glance at the results and saw heads came out on top. "I guess I'll go first." Dwight said and picked up the white cue ball and placed it where he deemed optimal on the opposite side of where the triangle was. Some Saviors lined all the balls into the triangle while the room quieted down again.

When all the balls were in their proper place, Negan took the triangle away as Dwight could have heard a pin drop in the silence. For some reason, the Saviors were interested in watching which of their bosses would win the game. Dwight bent down with his cue stick to take aim. He took a short breath as the stick tapped the cue ball as it began to roll towards the other balls on the table. The triangle broke away as the other balls scattered across the pool table. Dwight watched as he was able to sink two balls: one stripe and one solid.

"I'll take stripes." Dwight said. As he walked around the table where the cue ball ended up.

"Solids." Negan muttered under his breath as he surveyed Dwight's next move. Dwight took aim again and shot the cue ball towards the fourteenth ball. It hit the wall and barreled towards the opposite direction and into the middle pocket. One drunk man started to clap but then thought better of it when Negan gave him a glare and immediately stopped.

Dwight walked around the table again as he set his sights on the eleventh ball. He prepared himself once more and hit the cue ball which in turn tapped the eleventh ball the way Dwight hoped would happen. However, it was a hair away from sinking into the pocket. Dwight heard the crowd sigh in unison as the tension built up in the room.

Negan nodded clearly impressed. "You are pretty good at Billiards. You used to play?" Negan questioned as he walked around the table to be in an optimal position for the cue ball.

"It's just all about elastic collision and the kinetic energy before and after impact." Dwight explained while Negan looked confused about his short physics ramble. "Never mind." Dwight said and nodded for Negan to hurry up with his turn.

Negan bent over and stared down the cue stick towards the ball. He hit it as it sunk the fifth ball and almost sunk the eighth ball behind it. Everyone in the room gasped as the game had almost finished in that moment. Fortunately for Negan, the eighth ball stayed on the table. He was able to go again but Dwight could see the infuriation boil in Negan's eyes as Dwight could actually win over him. Dwight wouldn't been surprised if there would be a beating afterwards if he reigned triumphant. He didn't really care if it came down to a brawl. There was a lot of things that he didn't care about in his life and getting in a fight with Negan was one of them.

Negan leaned over once more and hit the cue ball as it headed straight towards the seventh ball. It made impact with the desired ball but didn't sink in the pocket.

Dwight tried to hide his smirk as he felt confident in his odds so far. He took aim at the twelfth ball as he struck the cue ball. It was a straight shot and the twelfth ball sunk into the pocket easily. Dwight then took aim at the eleventh ball again and it sunk effortlessly.

Negan glared at Dwight. "You in a hurry or something?" He grilled.

Dwight glowered back. "I just have a lot riding on this wager." He replied.

Negan dropped what was left of his cigar as it fell to the floor and stomped lightly on it. "I'm not too worried. When it's my turn, I can show you how well I can multitask." He said lightly as if any felt before was nonexistent.

Dwight stared at the table and saw zero optimal possibilities that presented itself. He hit the cue ball slightly so it rolled a couple inches only knowing any other move would prove to be futile. "Okay, show me your multitasking skills." Dwight said. The more he scored points, the cockier he felt.

Negan never took his eyes off Dwight as he grinned deviously. "Sherry, honey! Get over here!" Negan yelled. Dwight could physically feel his heart sink as he immediately know what Negan was doing. This was exactly how every argument would go between them. Suddenly it was breaching beyond immature words as Sherry stood still in the corner of the bar looking slightly angry at what Negan was playing at.

"Come on, Sherry! Get your ass over here!" Negan barked louder.

Sherry slowly made her way to the pool table as the catcalls around the bar exploded. Perhaps it was the lack of extra noise in the room but it seemed to Dwight that the vile words thrown in her direction were a lot more repugnant than usual. It only made Dwight's anger increase. Dwight understood that Negan was only bringing Sherry into the mix to throw off his concentration. He knew he had to maintain focus even though it was going to come with much difficulty.

Sherry stood next to Negan as he quickly wrapped on arm around her shoulder. "Sweetie," he addressed Sherry in a kind voice. "You ever play Billiard's before?"

Sherry shook her head no in response.

Negan smiled to her warmly. "How would you like to learn right now?" He invited as he looked upon her dotingly.

Sherry glared back at him with contempt. "Please don't." She urged slowly and with warning.

Negan feigned hurt as he put a hand to his heart. "Aw, sweetie. How am I supposed to show Dwight the multitasking skills that I promised?" He turned to face Dwight while keeping a firm grip on Sherry's shoulder so she couldn't slip away. "You see, Dwight. I can teach _my _wife to play pool and still kick your motherfucking ass."

Negan glanced to Sherry again. "Come on, let's show him." As he said that, he grabbed the back of her neck and shoved her to the pool table to force her to bend down. Sherry took a sharp breath as her lips formed a tight line. Dwight's heart was beating out of his chest as he watched her helplessly on the other side of the surface. Negan got behind her leaving zero space between him and Sherry's backside as he bent down directly above her. Sherry breathed heavily in fear as she stared down at the green felt while too embarrassed to look anywhere else.

Negan grabbed one of Sherry's hands and forced her to hold on to the cue stick as he took aim to the cue ball. "Alright, honey. All we have to do is pull this stick back…and…thrust." He said as the stick hit the cue ball and his torso moved back then forward in the same fashion. Some of the men laughed at his not-so-subtle innuendo as the cue ball hit the sixth ball and sunk into the pocket. The men cheered uproariously for Negan as he took his weight off Sherry and bowed towards the Saviors. They all started to chant his name while Sherry stood up straight and quickly wiped a tear away. She looked at Dwight as he stared back at her with a look of sorrow and apology. She then narrowed her eyes and nodded as if giving approval for Dwight to hustle Negan. He was unsure if that was really what she meant until she mouthed, _"Give him hell."_

Dwight smiled to some degree but still felt uneasy at the scene in front of him. He watched Negan brush his fingers on Sherry's bare middle before he held her hand. "I'm a pretty good teacher, huh?" Negan said in a hushed tone but loud enough for Dwight to hear.

Sherry nodded quickly and avoided looking him directly in the eye and instead focused on the pool table. Unsatisfied with the lack of attention that Sherry was giving him, Negan brought his hand up to her chin so she had no choice but to at least stare in his general direction. Sherry relented and gave Negan a look that would have floored anyone else while Dwight could feel his own eye twitch. Negan rose to the bait and gave a glare with his lips pursed together as they stared each other down for several moments.

Dwight kept his eye on Negan while grinding his teeth. The man had a bad affect at pushing Sherry to her limits. The more he tried to advance, the more Sherry resented him. Surprisingly, Negan was the first to break eye contact and quickly guided Sherry by the arm to Dwight's side of the table. He once again put Sherry into the same position that she was in for the last turn and got behind her. She was jammed in between the table and Negan's torso as he took a minute to admire the view in front of him before he bent down and kissed her shoulder. Dwight could feel his heart constrict at the sight and reminded himself that Negan was only showing such strong affection towards Sherry to get a rise out of him.

"Take some notes, men. Kissing a girl during a round is good luck." Negan proclaimed in a philosophical manner while Dwight couldn't only roll his eyes in disdain. Negan interlaced his fingers with Sherry's as they both held the cue stick. He took aim at the second ball and fired. The ball missed the pocket as all the men went silent again. Everyone saw the cue ball stop in perfect alignment with the fifteenth ball and the pocket. Dwight nearly skipped over to his new spot with confidence and hit the ball which in turn hit number fifteen as it fell into the pocket.

Dwight could almost see smoke flare out of Negan's nostrils. Suddenly, the air around the room seemed less playful again as Dwight watched how closely the loose cannon was standing next to Sherry. Should he pretend to lose the game? What would happen to either of them if he won? While thinking of the unknown variables, he tried to avoid looking at Sherry to indicate how obviously worried he was. Negan didn't need that clarity to use it against him. Dwight looked down at the table and saw that there weren't any more great chances to sink the tenth or the thirteenth ball. Nervousness was starting to take over as he hit the cue ball but watched as it accidentally scratched and fell into the corner pocket.

Even though it was Negan's turn again, Dwight could still see him seething from the ball he was able to sink before. Scratch aside, Dwight was still in the lead and closer to winning. In one instant, Negan quickly grabbed Sherry by the back of her neck and practically tossed her to the table next to the pocket where the cue ball sat. Sherry tried to use her arms to push herself away from the table while Negan proved to be too strong for her to fight against. Dwight took two steps towards the scene in an attempt to save her from the humiliation and downright abuse. Negan looked dangerously towards Dwight with warning in his eyes as he slowly shook his head. Negan picked the cue ball out of the pocket as he continued to hold Sherry's neck down to the table.

"No one is having fun anymore, Negan." Dwight tried to say sensibly as if trying to talk someone out of jumping off a building. "Let her go."

"Alright, Dwight," Negan began clearly having nothing of what Dwight was saying. "I was going easy on you before." He then slammed the cue ball less than an inch away from Sherry's face that laid on the pool table. Sherry jumped and clinched her eyes shut from the impulsive, reckless movement as Negan took his place behind her once more. "No more Mister Fuckin' Nice Guy." He growled and reached for Sherry's hand to take their place on the cue stick. She fidgeted with his touch but he slammed his palm down on the table while the sound echoed throughout the room. Sherry shut her eyes and relented to Negan's touch as Dwight could feel his face drain and run cold. He was terrified for her yet could only stand cowardly in front of the horrific scene.

With both of Sherry's hands in place on the cue stick, Negan took aim and fired toward the seventh ball. The seventh ball landed in the pocket and took the second ball with it that hung by the side. The Saviors cheered again as Negan smiled like an idiot once more, pleased by his play. Dwight only wished he could punch him in the face. "That means two more for me and two more for you." Negan observed. "Let's see who comes out on top." He grabbed Sherry by her bare waist and held her close. Dwight found it unsettling to watch how easily Negan could go from violent and caring within seconds. He hugged her tenderly and whispered in her ear while Sherry arched her back to lean as far away from him as she could.

When he finished whispering in Sherry's ear, he looked to his audience. "I'm letting my protégé take a rest. Everyone give a round of applause for her participation under my tutelage. My beautiful fuckin' angel." He shouted with pride. Sherry appeared to be in slight shock at what had just transpired as she slowly ambled back to where Negan's other wives sat. Dwight couldn't help but notice the look of hurt mixed with humiliation on her face. He had hoped that he wasn't the reason that happened. Maybe if he let Negan win, Sherry wouldn't have been involved in the public demonstration of Negan's control. He watched the girls bring Sherry into a group hug as Negan took another turn and missed sinking the third ball. Dwight saw Megan and Amanda crying on Sherry's behalf from the previous moment.

Dwight turned his attention back to the game and smiled as he looked at the one possibility he could do. No matter how much the night escalated, he had a chance to do something good with his life. And he was going to take that leap of faith that he wouldn't be punished for it later. He looked to Negan with a smirk. "Do you know what the vector equation and linear momentum is for ball collision, Negan?" Dwight questioned.

Negan looked to him condescendingly. "English, Dwight. That fucking shit doesn't matter in this world anymore." He stated.

Dwight glanced at him with a straight face and then stared at the table. "Physics is still a thing. Even in an apocalypse. That being said, there are certain equations you can make to optimize your outcome in pool. Certain formulas that you can mentally visualize." Dwight bent down and took aim at the eighth ball. Some of the men snickered as if Dwight had lost his mind. He fired as the cue ball hit the eighth ball with enough force that it hit the thirteenth ball behind it. The thirteenth ball hit the wall and angled towards the pocket. It started to lose momentum but finally sunk right before it ceased movement completely.

Dwight fixed his eyes where the cue ball sat and noticed in was conveniently aligned with the tenth ball and the pocket. With ease, he sunk the tenth ball while the cue ball nearly scratched behind it. The Saviors all held their breaths but leaned in closer or stood taller to see what would happen on the table but the cue ball slowed to a stop before it sunk into the pocket.

This time Negan didn't look angry but was awestruck. Everyone in the bar knew in that moment that Dwight was going to win his three month supply of food. Negan took his turn but with less focus as reality sank in that his chances of winning were slim. He hit the cue ball with no destination in mind as the cue ball wasn't in any optimal places for a worthwhile game but tried to put the ball in a spot that would make Dwight's impending turn more difficult.

Dwight looked at the table and saw his next turn was near impossible. However, his dad teaching him billiard's almost every night after homework was over when he was a child didn't go to waste as he walked around the table and stood next to Negan. "Excuse me." He muttered as Negan stepped aside with mild amusement as he snorted in reply. Dwight leaned down and hit the cue ball as it shot off one wall and started careening towards the eighth ball. The impact seemed louder with the room being completely quiet as the eighth ball raced into the pocket. It dropped in while the Saviors didn't know whether to clap or start beating Dwight to a bloody pulp. Dwight followed the crowds eyes as they all looked to Negan for validation. Dwight waited in silence until Negan reacted either way. He didn't feel the least bit sorry for beating him. He actually took great pleasure in besting Negan at his own game.

Negan slowly handed his cue stick to a Savior behind him but kept his eyes on Dwight. Slowly he put his hands together and started clapping. A smile crept on his face as he looked around in nodded in approval. The audience began to cheer awkwardly until it grew to a thunderous roar. "Wow!" Negan exclaimed in shock. "That was the best fucking game that I have ever seen!" He bellowed while he continued to nod his head. "Remind me to never play with you again! Give the man his three months' worth of food, goddammit! He sure has fucking earned it! Shots all around!"

The crowd cheered in a drunken stupor while Dwight casually walked over to Takuya and Carson as if the whole ordeal hardly phased him. However, he felt as if he had just gone up against Goliath.

"You schooled his ass! Literally!" Carson approved.

Dwight nodded with a shrug. "If you know physics, don't be ashamed." He said as humbly as he could and gazed at the corner of the bar where Sherry stared back at him.

"What are you going to do with all that food?" Dwight heard Takuya inquire.

Dwight smiled at Sherry reassuringly as if to communicate to her that everything was going to be alright. She grinned back and raised her wine glass to him with praise. "I have a pretty good idea of what I will do with it." Dwight answered while still looking at the woman he loved.

…

The next morning, Sherry woke up to the window partially opened. She sank deeper into her covers to prevent the draft from attacking her exposed skin. But then she wondered why the window was even open. She popped out of her bed and headed straight towards the window when she saw a paper taped to it. Sherry snatched the paper off the window and read the handwritten note.

_Look under your bed. _

_P.S. You're a heavy sleeper when you are actually able to sleep._

_I'm guessing the wine helped?_

Sherry still in a half asleep daze walked to her bed and knelt down with curiosity. When she removed the bed skirt, she gasped loudly at the sight and covered her mouth. "Christy!" She whispered after several seconds passed.

Christy grunted with protest as she turned away from Sherry with her eyes still closed. "Sher, I drank too much last night and I don't even have coffee to help me out. Let me sleep in." She complained.

"Christy! Look under my bed!" Sherry whispered again with excitement.

Christy turned to face Sherry as she opened her eyes slightly. When she was able to focus, her eyes widened at the sight underneath Sherry's bed skirt. There, under the bed, was three months' worth of canned goods with a can opener on the side.

Christy beheld the food in astonishment. "How?" She asked.

"By window delivery." Sherry replied and handed the note to Christy. When Christy read it, she gave it back to Sherry who carefully tucked it under her mattress where all of her other letters were hidden.

_Dwight, I could kiss you right about now, _she thought as she looked to the food like it was Christmas morning. "Guess we need to let the other girls know that breakfast is ready." She said cheerfully.


	8. Chapter 8

**AUTHOR'S NOTE – Chapter 8 marks the halfway point for book 2 in Nothing Else Matters! Which makes me so happy because I have been SOOOO antsy to get to book 3. Maybe a plethora of familiar faces from the TV show will start making an appearance then ;) I'm so glad I was able to get another chapter finished before my Chicago trip. Fingers crossed I can get at least chapter 9 in as well.**

Chapter 8

Christy and Sherry were joined by Megan and Amanda as they all sat quietly on the floor of their room. They continued to stare at the forbidden food tempted to eat it all within minutes. Sherry's stomach growled at the thought but she kept herself from devouring it in one fell swoop.

"So much food." Megan said in wonder.

"So…much…food." Amanda repeated slowly.

They stared at the food ravenously but in disbelief. They weren't allowed to eat more than what Yolanda gave them as rations. For months Negan starved them in hopes that they would retain their slender physiques. Sherry remembered keeping a strict diet while in ballet but did it in a healthy way with food and exercise. The way they ate in Sanctuary was dangerous.

"Ladies, we have to be smart about this. There are three months' rations for one person; not six." Sherry reasoned. "We could either make it last a long time or risk getting caught with it by eating it all at once."

"You mean five of us…" Megan said quietly while resting her head on her knees in front of her.

Sherry shook her head and leaned against Christy's bed. "We might not like Brittany but we can't keep food from her. That's cruel." She reasoned.

"We can't trust her either." Christy replied. "So what do we do?"

Sherry shrugged and bit her lip. "We'll think of something. I can't in good conscience eat this food knowing that one of us is still starving to death. I don't like Brittany too much but she still needs to be treated fairly." Sherry argued.

Ashlyn and Brittany went to Negan's house after Billiard Night and their absence from the house was noticed. Brittany usually spent most of her time at Negan's so it wasn't too uncommon for her. Sherry was always worried about the girls when they stayed overnight at Negan's. She didn't feel like it was right to ask but she felt she needed to get if off her chest while they were all in the same room to discuss it. "I need to know something…" She started as all the girls looked to her with curiosity. "Have each of you slept with Negan?" She asked knowing there was no easier way to put it.

The girls all stared at each other with sorrow on their faces. "Yes." Christy confessed for all of them. The other girls slowly nodded as they stared down at the floor in a daze.

Sherry drew a sharp breath. "Why?" She asked quietly.

Christy spoke up. "All of our groups were taken in when you were being kept in the court house after you escaped. During that time he gave us the ultimatum that he presented to you. We either become his wives of our groups will be killed. And we still would have the same exact outcome. We just had to be agreeable." She explained.

Sherry looked exasperated unable to meet their eyes. "You could've told him that you weren't ready for that part." She grieved. "Did you?"

Megan snorted. "To have five of the six wives not put out? That would be a little frustrating on his part, don't you think?" She questioned with mild humor.

"Doesn't matter." Sherry interjected. "Sex isn't something he just gets because he is in charge. He has to earn it in ways that he can't even comprehend."

"So he would never get it." Amanda broke in.

"Exactly." Sherry responded.

"You may have had a choice in that department but we didn't." Christy finally spoke up. "Because you told him no, he decided to add the stipulation for us."

Sherry felt a lump form in her throat. "What?" She asked in horror as tears instantly started to spout from her cheeks. She couldn't explain the enormous amount of guilt that she felt. Immediately, she thought if she didn't say no, the girls wouldn't have even been with Negan in the first place. She was the reason they were there because of Negan's sexual frustrations with the one wife that didn't give anything to him.

As if Megan started to read her mind, she placed a hand over Sherry's. "This isn't your fault." Megan clarified.

Christy wrapped an arm around Sherry in comfort. "I didn't mean for it to sound that way when I said it. We aren't angry with you. If we were in your shoes, we would have done the same thing." She concurred with Megan's sentiment.

Sherry wiped her tears away. "I had no idea that he would try and take on more wives because I said no." She disclosed. I had no idea. If I knew he was going to…"

"Then we would have wanted you to say no anyways." Amanda stated. "Like you said, no one deserves to be forced."

"But _you are being raped!_" Sherry exclaimed. "That's what he is doing to you! Not in the sense that he beats you up and holds you down but he didn't give you a choice in the matter. And that's rape!"

They all fell silent as they looked at the food.

"Sherry, this isn't your fault." Christy repeated. "And if it's any consolation, he has never once hurt us. He has always been respectful to us. We are okay. We didn't want to tell you this because we knew you would take that exact way that you are now. Don't be worried about us. We're more worried about you."

"Why?" Sherry asked in agony. "Why would you even think that?"

"We have all seen you back, Sher." Amanda said ominously. "You're his punching bag."

Sherry absentmindedly tried to cover her back with the shawl that she wore at the mention of it as she remained keeping her eyes off of her friends.

"Not to mention when we first saw you, your face wasn't in the best shape." Megan added.

"The broken nose wasn't Negan. That was some idiot on the street." Sherry corrected. "…The black eye was Negan though…and the stitches on the forehead was him as well." She confessed.

"Regardless, any kind of frustration he has, he holds it out on you." Megan said. "Which doesn't make any sense to me."

"He loves her; that's why it makes perfect sense." Amanda replied. "He likes us because we are complacent but he loves her."

Sherry stayed silent as they talked amongst themselves. "That's why it makes perfect sense." Christy chimed in. "Every time he has lashed out at her is when he fears of losing her."

"One of these days he is going to snap and kill you, Sherry." Amanda blurted as they all stared at her in disbelief. "We don't have the worst end. We are so worried about what he is going to do to you."

"We wish we could help make it better for you." Megan said.

Sherry shook her head but smiled at them sadly. "There's nothing you guys can do." She replied. They all sat in silence once more while in their own state of grief. "This is all just so fucked up!" Sherry sighed and but her palm to her forehead. They all slowly nodded in agreement.

Amanda smiled and glanced at all the girls with optimism. "Let's not focus on the things that suck in our lives. We have food and we have each other. That's what's important right now." She offered half-heartedly and then turned her attention to the food again. "So how should we do this?"

Sherry looked at the food. "Three cans a day. That should last us three months and be enough for us to share amongst each other. Christy and I will share a can, Amanda and Ashlyn will share, Megan and Brittany will share." Sherry planned.

"Which begs the question. How are we going to get it to Brittany without her ratting us out?" Christy inquired.

…

A knock came to the door later in the day as Yolanda answered it shortly after. Some of the girls followed her or peered from their places in the living room or kitchen with curiosity. When Yolanda opened the door to see no one in sight, she looked down to see a lone can of soup on the porch. Yolanda gazed both directions of the streets of Sanctuary before picking it up as some of the girls gathered around her.

"What is it?" Brittany asked.

"Yeah, who is it from?" Ashlyn pressed already in the loop of what was going on. She wore a smile as Amanda nudged her jokingly.

There was a note attached to the can's side as Yolanda read it out loud. _"'To Megan and Brittany. You girls are the hottest piece of ass that I have ever seen. Signed, your Secret Admirer.'"_

The girls all looked to each other knowingly as Sherry and Christy came inside through the back door. Brittany giggled in delight as she took the can of soup in surprise.

"What's going on here?" Sherry asked trying to appear clueless even though she and Christy had just returned from knocking on the front door themselves.

"I guess Brittany and I have someone that loves us." Megan said as she winked to Sherry with a grin.

"Negan wouldn't approve of this." Brittany said as she looked at the can but then shrugged as hunger got the better of her. "I guess what he doesn't know won't hurt him!" She started walking towards the kitchen with a giddy skip to her step.

"You have to share it with Megan, Brit." Sherry said with warning in her voice.

Brittany thought about it and then looked to Megan with a friendly demeanor. "You get a can opener while I get two spoons?" She suggested.

Megan nodded in accord as Brittany skipped to the kitchen. When her back was turned, Megan followed but gave a thumbs up in the direction of the other girls. They smiled as they knew their plan worked flawlessly.

…

May 2011 – Seven Months in Sanctuary

…

The snow melted. Their food rations under the bed had finally come to an end. For three whole months, the girls were able to eat just a little bit extra every day as Brittany ignorantly thought someone had a crush on her. She was none the wiser that it was only coming from underneath Sherry's bed.

Every time Sherry and Dwight saw each other in passing, they smiled towards each other and carried on with their business. Life in Sanctuary was less chaotic for those months as calmness swept over everyone, including Negan. Everyone was content. Construction on the mill, fence, and many outposts surrounding the area kept Negan and his men from happening upon unsuspecting and defenseless group. In turn, that kept Dwight from killing innocent people for Negan. He wished that tranquility could have lasted forever. Then Dwight and Takuya were called to the court house along with most of the Saviors. The calm was just before the storm.

They walked into the court house's largest room; the court room. It was swarming with many Saviors as Dwight took his seat where the jury would have sat if the world remained untouched from the vicious walkers that plagued its soil. Unsurprisingly, Negan sat tall in the judge's seat as he was talking to several men that looked worse for wear. Dwight then recognized those men as the scouts that Negan had sent out to follow the king's men to their base.

"Looks like they finally made it back in one piece." Dwight commented to Takuya.

"I think I know what this meeting is about." Takuya said grimly. They knew that Sanctuary would try to stage a coup at the Kingdom as they did previously at the Hilltop Colony. The meeting meant there could be a potential war on their hands.

"Gentlemen!" Negan yelled as the Saviors in the room settled down into their seats to listen to their instructions. "We are here to hear some escapades that have happened to our faithful Saviors and their excursion to the Kingdom! Let's get down to fucking business! Connor! Tell us what happened!" Negan motioned for Connor to stand next to him so all could see and hear him.

Connor did so but took his sweet time as Dwight noticed his limp. The man looked unrested and like he had lived in the woods for the entire three months. Dwight could even smell the lack of hygiene from where he sat.

"What do you want to know?" Connor asked in respect towards Negan.

"First things first. Who is this fucking king they have?" Negan asked. Everyone cheered wanting to know the same thing.

Connor smiled confidently. "His name is Ezekiel!" He shouted for all to hear.

Negan beamed at the information as he gave Connor a pat on the back. "Well, what the fuck does he look like?" He questioned. "Burly son of a bitch?"

Connor looked less confident. "I don't know." He confessed as Negan's smile quickly faded away. "His crew only let really important people meet up with him."

Negan shrugged at the new detail as it didn't faze him. "Would I be considered fucking important enough to meet the king?" Negan asked while the Saviors started laughing at Negan's condescending tone.

Connor smiled sadistically. "Like you would fucking take no for an answer." He replied.

"Damn straight I won't!" Negan bellowed with a laugh. "How many men does the old Zeke have?"

"About half of what you have." Connor stated confidently. "We could take them on easily."

"Now how come it took you so long to make it back to Sanctuary?" Negan asked. "You guys having too much fun jerking each other off in the woods?" The comment was followed by more uproarious laughter while Connor reddened with embarrassment.

"Zack got his fucking leg bit. We had to chop it off and live in a nearby house." Connor explained. "One night, the king's men found us and captured us to see what we were up to. They didn't recognize us from the night we attacked their camp. After we gained their trust, they let us go free."

Negan smiled and looked upon the Saviors as he stood up to address them. "This is an opportunity to have more rations for our community! We will leave in an hour!" Cheers erupted in a fury as most of Negan's men were just as blood thirsty as he was.

Negan put his hands up while the men fell silent. "Oh, fuck! We are so fucking close to having that fence around the mill! It is our main priority to get that fucking thing done! Some of you will come with me to the Kingdom where we will take to this king. Perhaps three quarters of you all will come with me to the Kingdom to show how much more manpower we have! The rest will stay under Dwight's command to finish the gate and get some outposts set up around the perimeter. If I call your name, you stay with Dwight. If I don't, you come with me." He started calling off names and as soon as a Savior heard their name read, they would start dwindling off to prepare the fence.

Takuya nudged Dwight as some names were read off. "You notice that the men he has read off that stay behind were here when we tried to escape last time?" He mentioned.

Dwight looked to Takuya. "That's not a coincidence. We're being babysat." He stated.

When Negan finished, the Saviors fanned out of the room to prepare for a confrontation with the Kingdom. Takuya was called to go with Negan's men which proved to be another tactic that would prohibit them from escaping once more. Negan knew they wouldn't go anywhere if Takuya wasn't with them. Negan walked over to Dwight and Takuya with a smile as they walked out of the court room. "This is supposed to be good news, Orlich! Why the long fucking face?" He asked.

Dwight shook his head. "Nothing. Do you have any other instructions while you're gone?" Dwight questioned almost beyond grateful from some time away from Negan.

"I want that fence to be completely finished by the time I get back. Once it's complete, get rid of the fence in between the mill and the rest of the community. I don't expect that part to be all the way finished but I do want it to get started. Got it?" Negan instructed.

Dwight nodded. "Sure thing." He replied.

"Building that fence is fucking important. From the top of the mill, you can see people coming and going for miles. We need it cleared of walkers too. You can use whatever walks for the fence as well." Negan added as he walked out of the court house leaving Dwight and Takuya behind to indicate the conversation was over.

Takuya and Dwight started making their way out of the building in their slower pace with a lot of thoughts going in their heads. "I guess I am on my way to the Kingdom." Takuya remarked with a sense of dread.

"Just do as Negan says and you'll be okay." Dwight suggested feeling bad for Takuya. They both had expressed their relief they had for not scouting for the last three months. Dwight found it mentally draining as he would constantly wake up from the sounds that haunted him from scouting previously. He had hoped the peace would remain only for a little bit longer. "Want to grab a drink at the bar before you leave? You sound like you need it." He asked Takuya to help cheer him up.

Takuya nodded with gratitude. "The advantage of being the friends with the second-in-command." He grinned as they took a faster pace. Takuya quickly walked to their house to grab his things as Dwight strolled to the bar and produced the key from his pocket. As he was unlocking the door, he had a strange feeling that someone was watching him from a nearby distance. He turned around and saw Christy across the street glancing at him with purpose. She stood next to Megan, Amanda, and Ashlyn as they tried to look inconspicuous while Negan walked towards them with Brittany at his side. Sherry had never said goodbye to Negan before he left town. That was another small way of hers to stick it to him. Negan always had to seek her out if he wanted to say farewell; to which he usually did.

Christy stared intently at Dwight while he turned around and opened the bar door. By the time he took a step inside, he saw Takuya walking up to him with sweet relief at having a drink before the long day ahead of him.

"Tak!" They heard Negan yell from across the street. "We're leaving right now! No time for drinks, Fuji. Grab your shit and let's go!" Negan waited for Takuya to nod in reply then returned to his goodbyes with "his" women.

Takuya looked disappointed and annoyed as he looked to Dwight. "Well, I guess I am leaving now." He muttered.

"I'll drink for two then." Dwight offered as they gave each other a bear hug. "You take care of yourself out there, brother." He added.

Takuya started walking away as Dwight remembered to say something. "Hey, Tak?" He began.

"Yeah?" Takuya said in question.

"Let me know if you see Jason and his family at the Kingdom, okay?" Dwight asked sincerely. Even though he didn't want to hold out hope that they were able to survive out on their own with three children in tow, he still wanted to know their whereabouts; positive or not.

Takuya nodded solemnly as he left the bar and headed towards the front gates. Dwight intended to drink even though his drinking buddy was able to join in the fun. He spotted an unopen bottle of Jim Beam as he heard the trucks start making their way out of Sanctuary. He opened the cabinet with clean shot glasses that Yolanda was assigned to clean after each Billiard Night. He started pouring himself a drink as he heard the bell attached to the door chime. He took a shot before turning around to see Christy, Megan, Amanda, and Ashlyn standing at the front door.

Dwight scrutinized their demeanor and noticed how obviously cornered he was. They were seeking him out on purpose and he found it unnerving. He didn't even know how to begin a conversation with the women. "You guys shouldn't be here," was all he could think to say. "You're only supposed to drink during Billiard Night."

Christy stepped forward with purpose but didn't budge past that step. "We wanted to thank you." She declared promptly.

Dwight looked perplexed as he tried to think of when he had ever helped them in the past. "For what?" He questioned.

"For the food." Amanda clarified. "Sherry shared the rations that you gave her."

The news didn't surprise Dwight in the slightest. That was the king of person that Sherry was. "You shouldn't thank me then. You should thank her." He said in a bit of an off putting mode. He didn't know if their presence in the bar would have put them or himself in trouble with Negan. He would have preferred as much distance as possible.

Christy stared at him as she tried to think of what to say next. "That's kind of why we are here." She said evenly. "If there was any way that we could show our gratitude to both of you, we would. And I think that we have come up with the best solution to make that happen."

He wore a befuddled look on his face as he wondered where the girls were getting at. There was a warning that went off in Dwight's head but intrigue took over. Without another thought of worry, he was interested in hearing what his informants had to say as he poured another drink and drank it. Dwight looked at the girls and sighed with defeat. The girls wouldn't leave until he heard them out. "I'm listening." He finally replied.

…

"Where is it?" Brittany complained while she paced back and forth in the living room. Sherry and Yolanda could hear her from the kitchen while they were talking amongst each other. Suddenly, they heard the sound of glass breaking followed by cries from Brittany. "It's not here!" Brittany wept. "It usually comes here during this time of the day!"

Sherry stood up and ran to the living room to see Brittany on her knees with her face in her palms. "Brittany, what's the matter with you?" She asked as she saw a glass figurine in pieces on the floor. Sometimes, Negan would order his men to bring whatever interesting trinkets on their scouting trips to take back to Sanctuary whether it served a purpose or not. Sherry remembered Megan picking up several things at the supply building to spruce up their living space and make it happier. Sherry noticed that the glass on the floor resembled one of the decorations Megan handpicked for their shared space. "That was Megan's favorite." Sherry commented.

"I know. God, she's going to be so mad." Brittany said as she started to sob. Yolanda came in with a broom and started to sweep the mess up before someone cut their feet.

"Maybe she won't notice." Sherry said trying to make her feel better. It was the first time Brittany had ever felt real to her. She had never shown any emotion outside of being an immature brat.

"Of course she will!" Brittany yelled with her face still in her hands.

"Brittany, what's this really about?" Sherry inquired as she got down on her knees next to Brittany once Yolanda looked satisfied that she cleaned all the glass up.

Brittany sniffled as she tried to speak. "Every day for the last several months Megan and I would get a can of food from somebody and we would share. It usually would have come hours ago. But it's not here!" She started to cry again as Sherry awkwardly put her arm around her in comfort. Sherry looked to Yolanda in consternation while Brittany rested her head on Sherry's shoulder. "What do I do?" Sherry mouthed to Yolanda.

Yolanda shrugged with wide eyes as they had never seen Brittany act like she was before. Sherry patted Brittany's back as Brittany grabbed her in a hug which made Sherry feel even more awkward.

"It's not the end of the world, Brittany. We still get some food." Sherry encouraged.

Brittany huffed. "Look around, Sherry! It _is _the end of the fucking world!" She exclaimed in an overdramatic voice.

Sherry accidentally started to snicker at the way Brittany said it as Brittany looked to her, baffled that she would laugh at her. "Why are you laughing?" She questioned hysterically.

Sherry shook her head as she pulled herself together. "Well, it is the end of the world. But Brittany, you have survived this long. It's been over a year since this all happened. We can do this." Sherry tried to convince. With that Sherry stood up and held her hand out for Brittany to take. "Come on. Let's go for a walk and get some fresh air. You need it."

Brittany sulked a bit longer on the floor but looked to Sherry. "Why do you care? You have never given a shit about me. You always thought I was a big slut." She nagged.

"I may have never understood you, Brittany but that doesn't mean that I don't care about you in some small measure." Sherry explained. "For some strange reason, I want to know that you are okay."

Brittany grabbed her hand and stood up. "Let me go get changed." She said as she walked up the stairs. Sherry took a deep breath and felt somewhat glad that the hatchet was going to be buried between them. It was unnecessary tension that she didn't want in her life.

The front door opened as the other girls made their way into the house with only smiles on their faces. Sherry still recovering from the strange encounter that she had with Brittany could only stare at the girls with equal gawking. "This day gets weirder and weirder. What's up with you guys?" She asked.

"Just enjoying a beautiful day." Ashlyn said suspiciously and winked at Sherry. The other girls stifled laughter at Sherry's face which still held the same amount of confusion.

Sherry looked to them with concern but decided to say nothing. "Okay…" was all she said when she heard Brittany walk down the stairs.

"Ready to go?" Brittany asked Sherry. The other girls looked from Sherry to Brittany with wonder as it seemed they were both finally getting along. It was their turn to be confused.

"Brittany and Megan's secret admirer is no more." Sherry explained. All the girls finally nodded their understanding as Christy smiled slowly and looked directly at Sherry.

"So you'll be out of the house for a little bit, Sher?" Christy asked.

Sherry shrugged. "I guess so. Why?" She quizzed.

Christy grinned even more. "No reason. Stay out as late as you want." She advocated.

Sherry eyed the girls suspiciously. "What the hell is wrong with you guys?" She questioned.

They all started laughing as Sherry and Brittany made their way outside of the house. Sherry was only fed up with their cryptic attitudes and hated secrets or surprises. "What was up with them?" Brittany asked.

Sherry shook her head. "I have no idea." She answered. With that, they walked towards the library to find some gossip magazines. Sherry didn't particularly care for the idea but knew Brittany adored all the tips about making a man fall in love or beauty hacks. When they got there, Sherry could see that the information from all the tabloids was severely outdated but Brittany still liked to look at them regardless. After an hour, Sherry got bored of skimming through the library's collection of magazines and switched to a Stephen King novel. Overall, she was glad to lend a helping hand to Brittany and befriend her in spite of their differences. She knew going forward that things would be easier in that portion of her life.

…

It was late at night when Sherry and Brittany returned to the house. All the lights were out except for the living room light where Amanda and Ashlyn sat on the couch snuggled underneath a blanket and talking about trivial things. The mood in the house was always brighter when Negan was away from Sanctuary. "Did you guys enjoy the outdoors?" Ashlyn asked. "I told you that the weather was nice."

Sherry rolled her eyes in response. "You did but you were acting weird about it." She said as she and Brittany took their shoes off at the base of the stairs. Ashlyn rolled her eyes in return and stuck her tongue out while Sherry could only smile at her playful nature.

Brittany yawned as she headed up the stairs. She turned around and faced Sherry shyly. "Hey. I just wanted to thank you for keeping me company today. We should do it again sometime." Brittany suggested.

Sherry then felt that she and the girls had been constantly guilty of excluding Brittany from their daily things. It was something that she didn't find in good character and hoped to rectify it in the future. She smiled at Brittany who was still expecting an answer. "It wasn't bad hanging out with you. Anytime." She responded.

Brittany beamed in return and continued to walk up the stairs. Sherry sighed as she looked to Amanda and Ashlyn who kept their eyes on Sherry with expectant stares. "Anything you want to say?" She asked them after a moment of awkward silence.

They shook their heads with ridiculous smiles.

Sherry peered at them and then rolled her eyes once more. "You guys are something else," she said as she walked upstairs to try and get some rest.

"Good night!" Amanda and Ashlyn said in unison and started to giggle.

Sherry walked up the stairs to see Megan and Christy coming out of her room and were acting as strange as the girls were downstairs. "We wanted to thank you for sharing the canned food with us and this was the only way that we could think of doing that." Megan whispered.

"Seriously! What are you guys up to?" She asked impatiently.

Megan and Christy eyed each other with straight faces and nodded. Instantly they grabbed both of Sherry's arms as Christy opened their bedroom door with her other hand. They pushed Sherry into the dark room while Sherry did little to put up a struggle. Sherry turned around to face them as they stood in the doorway. "What the hell?" She questioned.

"You can thank us later!" Christy whispered as she shut the door behind her.

Sherry stood in the dark room for a little bit while a sudden worry came over her. In the pitch black, she walked to the door and tried to feel for the light switch. When she finally felt what she was looking for, she turned the light on to see around the room. She nearly screamed when she saw Dwight sitting on her bed with a smirk on his face.

"Hi." He said simply.

Sherry held her hand to her heart trying to recover from the surprise that she felt. _This could either be a good thing or a very bad thing, _she thought as the feeling of ecstasy befell her from seeing him with the sudden opportunity to be near him for at least a short amount of time.


	9. Chapter 9

**AUTHOR'S NOTE – Short but very very very sweet chapter. Hope you like it!**

Chapter 9

"How?" Sherry asked as she looked around the room slightly mortified. She and Christy never really had a reason to keep their room tidy. Suddenly she felt self-conscience about the lack of orderliness as she saw lingerie strewn about. Her face flamed bright red as she tried to inconspicuously pick it all up.

Sherry could tell Dwight found it somewhat humorous as he only watched her go around her bedroom to declutter. He sat on her bed slightly relaxed but still saw the tension in his face as he wondered if being in the same room was the best choice.

"Your friends cornered me." Dwight explained. Sherry noticed that he didn't call her friends Negan's wives as if that were their label. "They wanted to thank both of us for the food I gave you."

Sherry stopped picking up the ridiculous underwear that Negan made them wear and gave him a convicted look. "I couldn't help but share." She confessed.

"Don't even be sorry about that. I figured you would. Why do you think I asked for as much as I did?" He asked. "Christy said that if they could get us a couple of nights where we can be with each other that it felt like an appropriate token of their appreciation."

Sherry threw all the clothes in the closet and shut the door to retain the mess from their sight. Dwight raised his eyebrows at her. "You didn't have to get rid of all the lingerie." He joked.

"Shut up." She responded as she made a face and joined him on her bed.

He smiled at her with obvious delight as he soaked in the short time they had together. "Hello." He said tenderly.

"Hello." She echoed with a content grin.

They fell silent as Sherry could see a cloud form over Dwight's head. He stared down at the floor as he thought carefully of what he was going to say next. "Has he still been treating you well?" He asked with trepidation.

Sherry frowned and let out a deep sigh. "My definition of 'treating me well' or his?" She countered back.

Dwight pursed his lips and grinded his teeth together in resentment. He looked up from the floor and instead focused his gaze at her shoulder which bore part of her many scars that she received when they escaped Sanctuary. The last time he saw her back in close proximity was the day that it happened. He was glad to see it healed even if the scars were permanent.

Sherry saw where his eyes fell and tried to angle her body so it would make it more difficult for him to see the scars. He looked at her in the eyes apologetically once he realized that she may have felt somewhat uncomfortable at the attention that he gave the part in her life that she would have rather forgotten.

"How are you?" Sherry decided to ask to change the subject.

"I am doing alright. For the last couple of months, our main focus has been getting the fence around the mill finished. I haven't done Negan's dirty work since the night before Billiard Night." Dwight responded.

Sherry remembered seeing his fists that night as he played pool. Guilt started to creep up on her as she thought of the things that Dwight hinted at in the letters.

Dwight could see her face turn to a look of melancholy and put a hand over hers. Sherry could feel her goosebumps at the human interaction as it made her heart skip a beat. As if reading her mind, he interlaced his fingers with hers. "It's not your fault that I am doing those things, Sher. I already told you that." He said firmly to let her know that he meant it.

She nodded half-convinced. "I know." She replied.

Dwight smirked. "Talking about our lives in the present situation kind of sucks, doesn't it?" He asked with slight humor.

She laughed quietly and put her head on his shoulder. It felt almost natural to be close to him. Her body almost seemed to throw all caution to the wind and just embrace the fact that he was right in front of her. "A little bit." She lamented. "But that's our lives. What else would we talk about?"

Dwight looked around the room in thought. His thumb lightly caressed her hand as it went back and forth over her skin. "Tell me what your plans were going to be if the apocalypse didn't happen." He suggested.

Sherry brought her head up as she stared blankly at the wall for several moments. After almost thirty seconds passed, she huffed with a smile and looked at him with embarrassment. "Man, I don't even remember every detail of that answer. I can tell you the big picture and go from there though." She offered.

"Well then," he began as he laid down on his side and pointed a finger at her then pointed at a spot next to him on the bed. He patted it to indicate that he wanted her to join him. "Humor me." He said with a wink.

It didn't take much coaxing as she gladly took a spot next to him and laid on her side to face him. She thought deeply as she tried to think of where her life was before the world went out of control. "I was in my senior year of college at UGA, as you know. Two weeks from graduating too. Can you believe that?" She asked with an exasperated tone.

Dwight nodded slowly with sad eyes. "Two weeks from graduating with my doctorate." He shook his head. "After all of those years of going to school and for what?"

"It sucks, doesn't it?" She replied. "What would you have done with a doctorate in Computer Science anyways?"

"What everyone else does. Pay off student loans." Dwight said as he chuckled softly. "I had a lot of those. But I guess I would have gone into software engineering. I would have lived in Atlanta with my brother after college."

"What did your brother do?" Sherry asked.

"He actually did the exact same thing I did. After he graduated with his own PhD, he got this really good job in the city. I loved going to his place on the weekends. I even pushed for us to live at his loft once I finished school but I think it would have been a temporary setting for me. He was looking to find someone, settle down, and start a family." Dwight said as he tried to think of his brother without thinking of the moment where he got taken away from him.

"You didn't have a girlfriend that you wanted to settle down with before all of this happened?" She asked trying to play it cool as if it piqued her curiosity.

He rolled his eyes. "Oh please. If I had a girlfriend, I think you would have known about her a long time ago." Dwight answered. "No. I have had a couple of girlfriends during college but none of them really seemed to click. They wouldn't last longer than a couple of months."

"Oh." She said quietly as she bit her lip.

He seemed amused at her reaction and started to smile. "Does that make you happy that I never really had a steady girlfriend?" He asked.

Sherry smirked as it grew into a wider grin. "Maybe." She disclosed.

Dwight looked to be enjoying their flirtatious attitude towards each other as she scooted a little bit closer to him, unable to get enough of his atmosphere. She missed him and their conversations that they had with each other. They didn't have enough of those as Sherry first began the apocalypse by barely speaking to anyone other than survival tactics. Looking back, she wished that she changed her attitude only so she spent happier moments with the one person who made her heart rate soar.

"What about you?" He asked while he grabbed for her hand and played with it. "Did you have any boyfriends?" Dwight put a lot of concentration towards touching her. Even as little as what it could have been, Sherry loved every moment.

"I did have a boyfriend in my last two years of high school and it lasted until my second year in college. It was long distance for two years because he decided to enlist in the army instead of take the education route. We just agreed that being separated during that time wasn't really for us so we broke it off together and managed to still be friends." Sherry explained with difficulty as she was becoming distracting with Dwight caressing her arm that rested just above her waist. His fingertips left wherever he touched warm and comfortable.

"Four years." He commented. "That's a pretty long time to be with someone. What was his name?" He asked without a hint of jealousy. Something that sounded refreshing to her ears.

"His name was Liam." Sherry responded. "What were your girlfriend's names?"

Dwight snorted. "Yeah, I guess that's fair. Let me think… All of them?" He inquired.

Sherry laughed quietly. "Yes! You make it sound like you were a player." She remarked.

Dwight shook his head vigorously. "No, far from it! There's a difference between floating around and playing around. I was floating." He corrected and thought to himself. "I never had a girlfriend until college. I think I had four during that time? Anyways, they all ended when they realized that I didn't have a lot of extra time to spend with them. I worked really hard at a part-time job and also tried to maintain a decent grade point average so they eventually lost interest."

"You're changing the subject." Sherry accused. "Spit their names out already."

"Fine." He said in feigned agitation. "My first girlfriend's name was Brittany, actually."

Sherry stifled a laugh as the image of Dwight and the Brittany that she knew in Sanctuary came into view with them being a couple. "Did she have plastic boobs like the Brittany I know?" She teased.

"No." Dwight said. "She was the exact opposite of that Brittany. She was a physics major and comes in second of the longest relationship that I have ever had."

"Who comes in first?" Sherry questioned.

Dwight gave her a knowing look as if to say the answer was obvious. "You." He answered.

"Oh, really?" Sherry asked with intrigue. "And when do you think our relationship started? We didn't really discuss specific dates on that and I think I have a right to know."

"Well, I would count it by the day that I became attracted to you and no one else." Dwight reasoned with such simplicity and confidence. Sherry smiled at his ability to speak the truth without it sounding too cocky. It was something that he always had a knack for since she had known him.

"And that was?" Sherry pressed.

"The first day I met you." He said without hesitation. He looked up to the ceiling deep in thought and then smiled at her once something seemed clearer. "Happy Thirteen Month Anniversary." He whispered.

"Oh, you're being cute." Sherry said sarcastically but the sentiment tugged at her heartstrings all the same. "Who were the other three girls? What about their names?"

"Amy, Valerie, &amp; Gabby." He divulged. "Those didn't last longer than three months. So only one other boyfriend?"

She nodded. "Unless you want to count my current husband." She joked.

Her humor hit a nerve with Dwight as he shook his head slowly with a scowl. "I'll never count Negan as anything." He grunted while Sherry wished that she could take back what she said. Even though it didn't completely kill the mood, she wished that she didn't even give him any amount of pain by bringing him up in their short amount of alone time. Talking about Negan wasn't what their night was about. It was about them.

Sherry smiled apologetically and put a hand to his left cheek. Dwight's face immediately tilted towards it as he closed his eyes and put one of his hands over hers. Sherry scooted even closer to him and rested her head on his bicep as he used it to prop his head up while lying on his side. "You wanted to know what I was going to do with my life if the world didn't end? My closest plans were completing finals. One particular final was something that I was really looking forward to. My dance partner and I practiced since the beginning of the semester." She said while trying to get his mind off the present once more.

"I can imagine finals would be somewhat fun when they are all dance." Dwight commented back. His face was so close to hers that it almost made it too difficult to concentrate. Sherry was beginning to have a one track mind with her physical side taking over. He seemed to be dealing with the same attraction as he moved his hand the small of her back. It stayed there with purpose and confidently as he pulled her closer to him.

"Meh," Sherry continued trying to get the conversation back on track. She could feel herself holding back from letting certain things happen naturally. Sherry felt more comfortable than she had been in months with Dwight yet she couldn't relax enough to give in to what she really wanted to do. Even though it seemed like they were alone, it was almost as if Negan was watching them. The thought frightened and aggravated her knowing that he had so much control on what she did with her life. "The classes can be difficult in their own rite. It's not only learning something by heart and the brain but committing it to muscle memory, making sure that lines are correct, extensions are elongated, being synchronized with your partner, flexibility, etcetera, etcetera." She explained.

"Wow, you made dance sound less fun in that one sentence." Dwight joked as she joined with her never ending smile.

"It's fun if you have a passion for it. But it's not the easy breeze that everyone thinks it is." Sherry reiterated. "My partner and I were in a Pas de Deux class. For our final, we had to perform in front of an audience. My parents were going to fly to Atlanta to see me. My roommates were going to come support me too."

Dwight looked confused. "Pas de what?" He asked.

"It's a ballet duet." Sherry said with a smile. "When I was younger, I kind of promised myself that one of my proudest moments would be doing the Pas de Deux from the Nutcracker. So my dance partner and I chose to do that for our final. As a graduation gift, my parents bought this very elaborate costume. I was so thrilled to be living out that dream. With all of my dance classes, I danced nearly eight hours a day. It took up my whole entire life."

"I can't imagine." Dwight responded with respect as she relived the passion by telling it to him. "Do you miss it?"

Sherry nodded her head. "Of course I do. Dance took over my entire life for decades. When the whole world went away, it almost felt wrong to not go to the studio and practice."

"I wish I could have seen you dance." Dwight commented.

Sherry rested her hand on his chest absentmindedly but paused at how intimate the moment felt. He held his breath as they locked eyes but she continued to move on with their discussion. "I wish…I could have seen you do… computer stuff." She said awkwardly while trying to think of something – anything – to say.

"You have already seen my hobby though." Dwight reminded her. "Crossbow."

"That hobby came in handy, that's for sure." Sherry stammered while his hand went away from her back and crawled up to where her hand rested on his chest. It was her turn to hold her breath and get lightheaded by his touch.

"Yes, it did." He agreed with her statement as his face took a serious tone. She realized that they were crossing from small talk to deeper matters as he gazed at her with longing. His fingers interlaced over hers as he held her hand tightly and with meaning. Sherry felt ill-prepared for their encounter. It was almost too much joy for her heart to take with him being so close and losing hope of a better future a long time ago. "What are we going to do?" He asked knowing that she was thinking of the same thing he was.

"I wish I knew." Sherry uttered quietly. "Is Negan going to leave you in Sanctuary all by yourself more often?"

With her hand over his chest still, she could feel what he was going to do before he did it as Dwight's heart raced by her question. "I hope so." He answered as he scanned her face for any sign of consent. Sherry should have said no with her body language or actually opened her mouth to speak the boundaries they were breaking by even being together. But she didn't. She wanted that moment as much as he did and no longer did she want to heed to the alarms blaring in her head.

Sherry sensed Dwight's intentions as he scanned every detail of her face. His gaze then lingered towards their hands as he let go of hers to gently stroke her shoulder, then her neck and finally her face. She could feel her own heart beat and felt slightly embarrassed that perhaps he could possibly hear it as well. As if they were on the same wavelength, his fingers fell from his face as he traced down to the skin directly over her heart. The attentiveness of his affections made her feel as if she was going to pass out from too much exhilaration.

The pull to be as close to each other as possible was like a magnet. Dwight decided that stroking Sherry's body with his fingers wasn't enough as he brought her hand that still rested on his chest to his face instead and he kissed her hand and breathed deeply. Sherry could have cried with how sentimental and caring he was towards her. She had missed that kind of contact with another person. It was something that she didn't know that she craved until she saw him in her room.

Dwight leaned closer and kissed her neck softly as Sherry closed her eyes with the feeling of being lost in the moment. She rested her hand on top of his hip as she slowly slid it underneath his jacket to feel his bare back. His skin felt warm and inviting and could feel his muscles tense as he adjusted himself to be on top of her.

He started to kiss her face while Sherry was already feeling fed up with working around his clothes. She started to unzip his jacket as he leaned up to take his jacket off then followed with his shirt. Sherry couldn't help but notice the lack of tattoos anywhere. It took her aback only because she had assumed that he would have at least one or two but there wasn't anything of the sort.

He could see the look of intrigue on her face as he looked to her in question with his classic smirk. "What?" He asked.

"I just thought you would have ink." Sherry said as a matter-of-factly.

He shook his head as he made a face. "I'm not the kind of person that likes to be branded. Just not my thing." He said simply. "Disappointed?"

"On the contrary, I like it. It's refreshing." She assured.

"Did Captain Liam have tattoos?" Dwight joked as he leaned back down to get back to what he was doing before.

He started to work downwards from her neck as he pressed his lips against her chest just above her shirt line while Sherry had difficulty responding to his question. "Liam who?" She questioned breathlessly. He smiled in between his kisses at her lack of concentrating as he seemed to be enjoying where he was. Something felt right being with him more than it had with anyone else. It clicked with him. Despite the danger, Sherry felt like they deserved a moment with each other even if they didn't know what the future held for them.

Dwight then started to lift her shirt to create less distance between them while she tilted her body upwards so he was able to remove it over her head. She no longer cared about the 'what if's' of their situation as she decided to maintain the elation that she felt while he threw her shirt to the ground and started to kiss her on the lips with more passion than any kiss that she had ever recalled in her whole life. Everything fell silent in her mind while only one emotion remained as it swelled through her entire being as she kissed him back with fervor.

His hands wandered where they hadn't ever before as they wandered around her bra line and he held one of her breasts while their tongues explored each other. He removed his hand and put his weight on top of her while she enjoyed the feeling of their bare chests touching. The longer they kissed, the more they wanted to delve further into something more finite and intimate.

Dwight took the initiative to speed things along as he reached behind her back to fumble with her bra strap. As if a thunder clap went off in her mind, Sherry's thought process snapped to a different moment in time. She was taken way from Dwight and was overcome with a vivid flashback of Negan.

…

"_Let me take your bra off for you." Negan said in her flashback. She was thinking of the time where she tried to get him so drunk that he passed out so she could escape with her group and away from Sanctuary. They were in his bedroom and he was so close to finally passing out. But he could hold his liquor stronger than she thought he could._

_She looked at him while an unsettling feeling came over her. Sherry shook her head uncomfortably. "That isn't part of the rule." She reminded while her voice shook with fear. "Sit back down on the bed."_

"_Come on. You know you would have fun with me. Aren't you having fun now?" He pressed while he clumsily continued to walk towards her._

"_Not anymore." She answered honestly. She didn't have a fun time in the beginning of her attempt to intoxicate him but felt she didn't have any other choice._

_When he was only a foot away, he grabbed her by the shoulders with aggressive force and pinned her against the wall. The back of her head hit the wall hard as she gasped for air. "Negan!" She yelled as he felt for her bra strap._

…

Her whole body tensed out of reflex as she drew in a sharp breath. She tried to push away the memory before it went any further. Dwight took his hands off of her immediately from her reaction as he sat up so she could breathe easier. "What's wrong? Did I hurt you?" He asked with evident worry in his eyes.

She shook her head. _Dammit, _she thought. _I killed the mood! _"No! It's fine! I'm okay." She stressed. "Keep going!" She continued to breathe heavily as she tried to shake the memory of Negan but it kept replaying in her head over and over again. She could almost smell the liquor around her. Then her brain kept on showing other flashbacks that seemed to stem from the traumatic moment.

…

_Her breath sharpened as she felt a metal sting on her back. Sherry could tell that he was using the buckle side of his belt as he used it countless times more. She could feel the blood trickle down in multiple areas as he stopped for a couple of seconds. She had hoped that he finished completely but then he continued with what felt like he was whipping her as fast as he could as he got closer to her. She tensed her entire body as tears stung the sides of her eyes from the excruciating amount of pain. Yet she refused to give him the satisfaction of victory and refrained from screaming. _

_With one final barbarous whip, on the right side of her neck, she finally let out a shriek of torment as he turned her around sharply and pushed her up against the wall. The wall provoked her newly opened cuts on her back which made her gasp from discomfort while she arched her back away from the wall to avoid the feeling again. But Negan pushed her back while her raw skin slapped the wall once more. Every part of her back stung from the action however she was slowly losing the strength to fight him off._

_Negan put both hands around her neck and raised her feet off the ground with little to no effort. He squeezed his palms and fingers around her neck as she started fighting for breath and her life._

"_You are one selfish bitch, you know that?" Negan seethed while she continued to hang just above the floor. "I have given you shelter. I have given you food. A nice warm bed. You don't even have to worry about a single fucking thing! I haven't even fucked you yet and I still don't get as much as a thanks. Instead you try and leave your good husband. If that doesn't sound bitchy, I don't know what does." He lectured her while she could feel the consciousness leave her as she became more asphyxiated._

…

"_It was me." Dean asserted while Negan's attention rested on the older man. "It was my plan to leave Sanctuary and I dragged everyone into it. And now Jason, Terri, and the children are all dead because of me. Please don't shed any more blood on innocent lives. Punish me instead."_

_Dwight shook his head and looked to Negan with urgency. "No! Negan! Don't listen to him! Dean isn't the conspirator in all of this!"_

"_It was me!" Sherry confessed desperately trying to get Negan to look upon her instead of Dean. "Don't punish Dean! It was me!"_

_Negan nodded to his men that stood directly behind them. "Gag them!" He demanded._

_Amidst everyone's multiple protests and confessions, they were all slowly gagged with white cloths except for Dean. Sherry started to cry while Dwight just stared on in horror while they both watched Negan tighten his grip on Lucille._

"_Congratulations, old man. You were the first to admit to everything. However, you are the one who is going to be punished. Deservedly so." Negan started swinging Lucille for practice while Sherry started to scream underneath her gag._

…

_Her flashback switched to when Dwight just executed Haruki in front of her eyes. She could only feel hollow but remembered the look of almost complete satisfaction that Dwight had on his face. "We're still here." Sherry remembered him muttering as he placed the gun back down on the chair. "We're still here."_

…

Sherry had a problem of associating moments in her life with everything that Negan would disapprove of and a following repercussion. Unlike the moments before when she was punished, she wanted what happened between her and Dwight to have zero consequences. It was difficult to not think of a follow up retribution whenever she stepped out of line. For the seven months that she had been in Sanctuary, there was always a penalty for whatever action she chose. As much as she wanted her time with Dwight to be the exception, she couldn't think of being with him without thinking of the wrath of Negan.

Dwight eyed her skeptically. "Are you sure? We can stop if you want to." He suggested kindly.

Sherry took another deep and shaky breath. "I don't want to stop." She complained slowly.

"You hesitated." Dwight said with a forgiving smile and gave her a peck on the lips before he reached down to get his shirt. Sherry watched him while she felt so utterly conflicted inside. She wished that the moment she had with Negan didn't creep up in her mind to give her a small panic attack at the most inconvenient time. He had ruined everything good in her life.

As Dwight put his shirt back on, he then laid right next to her on the bed. Sherry reluctantly got up to retrieve her shirt from the floor which gave Dwight a full view of her back. He could hardly see an inch of space between each scar that had covered the space. A knot in his stomach formed as he thought of those days that they were in the court house to be tortured. Negan had destroyed what he thought was a threat to his power and punished those that were responsible. Dwight didn't want to put Sherry through any more pain.

"Sherry, do you have a feeling that we could get into huge trouble for what we just did?" Dwight asked her softly.

Sherry nodded as she could feel the weight of his question. She laid down right next to him. "The girls did a really good job with smuggling you in here. But I still feel like a dog with a shock collar when it comes to rule breaking now." She admitted.

"Well," Dwight began with a mischievous look. "He never said that we couldn't…technically."

"Yeah? Do you think he would approve?" Sherry inquired.

"Absolutely not. He would probably kill me if he found out." Dwight said but shrugged it off as if it wasn't a big deal. "I don't want our first time we do the sweet deed together to be surrounded around all of this shit. Besides…" He stopped when he thought better than to vocalize his thoughts.

"What?" Sherry asked, curiosity taking over.

"Um, I didn't bring protection." Dwight blurted out while trying not to smile. "That would have been a dead giveaway if you got… if you were…" Dwight stuttered around his words and instead made a round motion with his hand where her stomach was to indicate a large bump.

Sherry laughed softly as he tried to express her thoughts. "Dwight, I need to tell you something. While we are on the subject." She said slowly and wondered if she should say anything.

"Hm?" He asked.

"I don't think I can ever have kids. My mom had difficulty getting pregnant and suggested that I get tested and we found out its hereditary." Sherry revealed sadly but tried to keep her voice optimistic. "On the plus side, I don't know if I could even raise a child in this world. That seems too stressful. So I think it kind of worked in my favor." Sherry looked to Dwight in question to try and gauge his thoughts. "Am I a ruined woman for you now?" She asked.

Dwight shook his head. "Not in the slightest. I don't like women because they can or can't get pregnant." He said and kissed her hand. "You're enough for me."

Sherry smiled gratefully but made a face. "Assuming we have a future together." She grumbled bitterly.

He shrugged. "Negan's what? Fifteen, twenty years older than us? Gramps can't live forever." Dwight hypothesized hopefully.

"Ugh! I really hope that our time in Sanctuary is less than that." Sherry moaned with distaste.

"Oh, me too." Dwight agreed. "Every day, I try to think of a new plan to get us out of here by every idea comes back to us being dragged into Sanctuary and another one of us dead. There isn't a lot of our group left."

"One day we'll get out of here." She said hopefully.

He held her hand tightly and held on to her confidence. "We will." He replied confidently.

**AUTHOR'S NOTE, TRIVIA, &amp; FACTS - **

**#1 - Dwight's old girlfriend's names, excluding Brittany, are the names of the last three female contestants on So You Think You Can Dance. FYI, Gabby was my favorite of the three. What diverse talent!**

**#2 – Those familiar with dance classes in college would know that classes vary on whatever college you go to depending on what they specialize in. But I did look up UGA's dance college program and researched that they have a Pas de Deux class. Several, as a matter of fact, to differentiate levels of expertise.**

**#3 – For anyone interested, I wrote an Alternate Universe story about if the apocalypse didn't happen and life went on as usual. In that story, Dwight WAS able to see Sherry's dance the Pas de Deux in her final college performance. There were also two other characters present for that performance as well. Take a gander as to who those characters could be…haha.**

**#4 – Sometimes you need music to set the right mood. **_**Unchained Melody **_**was literally on repeat with Dwight and Sherry's make out session. Cheesy but it's a classic. Don't judge.**


	10. Chapter 10

**AUTHOR'S NOTE – For anyone who is curious, Sherry's birthday is October 8****th****, 1988 (Happy Birthday). Dwight's birthday is September 29****th****, 1983. I'm saying that the apocalypse happened the year the Walking Dead series came out (2010). Soo…Sherry is 22 and Dwight is 27 with the timeline in this current chapter. And with the flash forward that is going on with Doc Kevin, they would be 23 and 28.**

**Who knows, maybe by the time it's the start of the third book, another year or two will go by…**

**I am aware that I updated Chapter 9 on Dwight's birthday.**

**I am also aware that Chapter 10's update is two days after Sherry's birthday.**

**Soooo Happy Birthday!**

**Also, I have taken liberties from their original characters in the comics (der, it's fanfiction) so the birthdays or ages that they have in my universe may not align in the comics…although neither are really mentioned specifically so far.**

Chapter 10

For once, Sherry was able to sleep that night. Dwight and Sherry talked for several hours about everything and nothing in particular while they continued to hold each other and soak in the relief of letting loose for a short amount of time. Sherry couldn't remember which one of them fell asleep first but in her slumber, she could feel the warmth of his body beside her. He was still there and she felt safe enough to let her guard down and rest.

_She dreamt of her home in northwest Chicago. At first, Sherry stood in her old living room wondering how she made it there. It was almost as if she knew that she was dreaming but decided to continue in the familiarity of her home and how well she knew the scenes around her by heart. Nothing appeared out of place since the last time she visited her parents. Her house was small but inviting. The TV was left on but no one was home. _

_She looked down to her clothes and saw that she was wearing the same clothes that she wore the day she had to flee into the backwoods of Georgia to avoid the majority of people. Her jeans were torn and dirty as if she had been living like a Neanderthal for weeks._

_The house was quiet all except for the TV while Sherry just waited for something to happen. An eeriness came over as she saw red and blue lights flashing from outside their front window. She walked towards it and peered through the drapes to see her old neighborhood in a frenzy. Her neighbors and friends were all packing their things frantically and in a hurry while junk was strewn about the street._

_Sirens blared all throughout the city and it was difficult to focus on any one given scene. Everything and everyone was in panic mode. It reminded Sherry about the day she left UGA and how her apartment complex was in a flurry of hysteria. _

_A loud noise came from behind her as Sherry jumped in surprise. Then she saw her mom coming down from the upstairs as she walked hurriedly to the kitchen. Sherry followed directly behind her and tried to yell for her mom to acknowledge her presence._

"_Mom?" Sherry called as her voice sounded distant._

_Sherry's mom, Annie, paced the vicinity of the kitchen while holding her cell phone to her ear. "Dammit, Sherry! Answer your phone!" Her mom said with worry._

"_Mom!" Sherry tried to yell again but her mom continued to deny her existence. Sherry then picked up a magazine that laid on top of the island in the center of the kitchen and threw it to the ground._

_Annie jumped at the sound the magazine made and turned to see it on the floor. Tears spilled from her mother's eyes as she held herself. Sherry felt guilty for scaring her mom and decided that getting her attention wasn't something that she should be doing in the dream. She didn't want to scare her mom again. Sherry was merely a fly on the wall in the dream._

_Sherry watched her mother rummaging through the white kitchen cabinets and stopped when she saw batteries and flashlights in the cabinet next to the refrigerator. She placed them on the counter then proceeded to dial Sherry once more._

_The door opened behind Sherry as she watched her father come into view with a solemn look on his face. Sherry was told countless times that she was combination of both her parents. She had her father's dark eyes and hair with the same downturned eyes with eyelashes that could go for miles. Yet Sherry held a strong resemblance to her mom as she remembered looking through their old wedding photos. Sherry looked exactly like her mom besides the curly, red hair that her mom carried through her Irish lineage._

_Her dad held his hand to his forehead as he sighed deeply. A shadow befell his entire being as Sherry sense his distress. Vinny looked to his wife as she continued to walk in the kitchen to keep herself preoccupied. Silent tears fell on her cheeks as the phone continued to ring with no answer._

"_Annie," Vincent said softly to get his wife's attention. "I just came back from the Moritz' place."_

_Annie put down the phone in consternation. "Why isn't she answering her phone?! She promised that she would call us back when she finished her classes today!" She complained._

"_Annie." Vincent repeated. "The Moritz' are sick."_

_She looked to him as her green eyes glistened in the low light of the room. "Oh no! Janice &amp; Bill?" She asked._

_Vincent nodded. "Benny and I checked to see if they were okay and looked through their window. Their dog, Pookie, was dead and torn to bits on their living room floor and they nearly attacked us from the window." He told his wife as he sat on the living room couch with the weight of the world on his shoulders. His gaze rested on one of Sherry's senior portraits that hung on the wall over the fireplace. The photo was of Sherry in her pointe shoes and ballet costume performing a jete leap. Sherry beamed proudly in the picture. For years, Sherry thought it was embarrassing that it hung in the living room for everyone to see but saw her parents in their house all alone. She was saddened that Georgia was so far away and wished that if she could turn back time that she would have chosen to stay at a local university._

_Her dad's voice snapped her back into the present. "We had to board up their doors, Annie. Keep them inside until everything blows over." He reasoned._

_Annie sat next to her husband and held his hand in comfort. Her other hand was placed over her heart as they sat in silence for a few moments. Janice Moritz was one of her mother's best friends. They would often go on weekend retreats together along with several other friends. "Are you sure?" She asked._

_He nodded. "I'm sorry, sweetie." He looked around the house as if contemplating their next move. Almost every inch was covered in decorations or photographs that her mother collected throughout the years. Nearly every item in their possession had a story behind it. Photo albums took over the entire bookcase in between the fireplace and front window, quilts that her Grandma Malloy made rested on the back of the couch, crafts were all over the coffee table that her mom was working on. Everything seemed inviting but was slowly becoming empty and filled with heartache. Sherry walked towards her parents and saw her dad look around their house as if in parting._

"_You aren't gonna like what I say next." Vinny said knowing that his wife wouldn't take the news well._

_Annie eyed him desperately. "What?" She asked._

"_We can't stay here for long, Annie." He revealed. "Thugs are coming from Cicero Avenue and raiding the homes. They could be here anytime. We need to leave Chicago until it's safe to come back."_

_Annie was on full alarm as she stood up from the couch. "What about Sherry, Vinny?" She stressed. "What if she calls the house and no one answers? What if she heads home by plane and no one is home? We have to stay put, Vinny!"_

_He stood up and gently put his hands on her shoulders. "Baby, you saw what they said on the news. All flights have been cancelled and grounded indefinitely. If we stay, we will never see her again. Your mom needs our help to ride this whole thing out. I will call my relatives and give them the address and we will all meet up in Michigan. We can survive with our family." He said trying to have Annie see reason._

_Annie angrily took his hands off of her and then walked past Sherry into the kitchen. She suddenly collapsed on the floor and began to sob uncontrollably. Vincent ran over to her as she cried out Sherry's name._

"_My baby girl!" Annie screamed at the top of her lungs._

_Sherry ran over to her parents and tried to let her know that she was with them. No sound emerged. She tried to yell louder but still nothing came. She put a hand on her mom's head and her dad's back and rested her head on his shoulder._

"_I'm right here!" Sherry yelled. "I'm right here!"_

_Then they heard the phone ring. All of their heads sprouted up with hope as Sherry saw the Caller I.D. that read: _Sherry Ciccone.

…

_The setting of Sherry's dream instantly changed to a beach. Sherry was now sitting on smooth sand as the waves on Lake Superior rolled in the background. The dream felt serene in comparison to the nightmarish scene of the last sequence. She listened to the waves as they crashed in front of her. Her Grandma Malloy's house had private beachfront property with one of the Great Lakes being her backyard. Sherry remembered traveling to Marquette, Michigan in the summers and every other Christmas to celebrate with her mom's side of the family._

_Sherry looked around the beach and saw two figures appear on top of the sand dune. It didn't take her long to realize that they were her parents and walked towards them while her feet made tracks in the sand below her. They sat on top of the dune while looking at the lake with tears streaming down their faces. Sherry saw their clothes looked surprisingly clean. Her dad's signature mustache was also accompanied by a salt and pepper beard. From the last time that she saw him, her dad appeared to have aged ten years with more wrinkles all over his body. Sherry then glanced at her mom and noticed that her vibrant green eyes appeared gray as they were absent of all joy. She wore a black oversized sweater that she clung to even though the temperature seemed warm to Sherry._

_Sherry stared behind the sand dune and saw a meadow with several crosses emerging from the ground. She could see several figures that looked like the entire Malloy &amp; Ciccone family were present as they dug up another grave next to the others._

_A sob escaped from Sherry's mother and she turned around to look at them again._

_Vincent quietly and softly reached for his wife's hand and held it tightly. Her mother's lip quivered as she looked to the waves crashing on the shore._

_Sherry watched the shore line and followed it all the way to the heart of Marquette in the distance. She could faintly see the town running like it had before. She often wondered if the town was nearly untouched from the rest of the world. It was so far away from any other town and looked to be intact with the community still being a community._

_Tears sprung from her mother's cheeks as she shook her head. "I should be grateful." She wept. "My mother died of natural causes. Her life was never in peril."_

_Vincent took his hand to Annie's face and wiped the tears away. "It's okay to be sad about her death. Your mother was an amazing woman." He consoled._

_Sherry looked towards the meadow below and saw a small and simple coffin next to where the Ciccone's and Malloy's were digging. She never saw her Ciccone side of the family mingling with her mother's side of the family before as it appeared that they were both helping out with the gravesite. Sherry saw her cousins, uncles, and aunts and felt left out. She longed to be there with all of them. She assumed they were burying her Grandma Malloy. There was a reverence in the air as her whole family grieved for their matriarch of their community._

_Annie smiled distantly as new tears emerged. "I wish our Sherry was here with us." She lamented. "Do you think we should have another grave for…"_

"_She's alive, Annie." Vinny said before she could finish her sentence. "Just because she isn't here doesn't mean she's dead."_

"_Then tell me that she's okay." Annie replied urgently as she stared at her husband waiting for any kind of answer he could give her. "It's been thirteen months since we have seen her. Tell me that's she's okay."_

_Vincent wrapped an arm around his wife and leaned her head on his shoulder. A worried look overcame him as he stared at the grand lake before him. Sherry could tell he was thinking of what to say next that had some hope of the future. However, he couldn't express it. Sherry knew him for being the kind of person that had a sixth sense when something was wrong or right. He couldn't say that Sherry was alright because it was almost as if he knew she wasn't doing well. Annie could sense his unease as she looked to her husband. "What are you thinking?" She asked._

_In the dream, her mother seemed to vanish like sand in the wind as did her family in the meadow. Her dad sat alone on the sand dune but was no longer looking at the waves and instead was staring at Sherry._

_He smiled warmly at her in greeting. "Hello, baby girl." He said._

"_Dad?" She asked. This time her voice didn't sound distant. He acknowledged her presence as she smiled with relief and sat beside him to stare at lake._

"_Are you doing okay?" He asked her as he put his arms around her in a side hug._

_She held her arm with both hands. "I think so. I'm trying to be strong with the cards I have been dealt. It hasn't been easy but it's nothing I can't handle." She responded confidently._

_He smiled at her with pride. "I figured you were still braving it somewhere." He said as they fell into silence and watched the waves. "We wish you were here with us."_

_She nodded as tears fell down. "Me too." She agreed._

"_You keep yourself strong, baby girl." Vincent encouraged. "This can't last forever. We'll find each other again one day and when things are back to normal, I expect you to show up sometime soon after."_

…

Sherry woke up to someone banging on the front door downstairs. In the darkness, she felt Dwight sit up behind her on full alert as they tried to hear a follow up noise. Someone hit the front door once again and started yelling obscenities into the night's sky.

"Ladies! Open the door! I won't bite hard!" A man yelled as some other men cackled along with him.

Dwight got up from the bed and reached for his jacket. He fumbled with it until he produced a small pistol from one of the pockets. He handed the gun to Sherry for her to take. "Hold this." He instructed as he grabbed his shoes from the floor then sat on Christy's bed. "The front door's locked, right?" He asked hurriedly as he proceeded to tie his shoes.

Sherry nodded. "We always lock it. But they always jimmy it open after several minutes of pounding on the door." She revealed while quickly getting herself out of her groggy state and checking to see if the gun in her hands was loaded.

Dwight growled at the piece of information. He had wished that he was in Sanctuary every time Negan was gone only to protect the girls from the other Saviors. There was a strict code of no raping but he didn't trust any of the men with the guideline. Nor did he trust Negan for the same matter.

There was a soft knock on Sherry's door. Sherry looked to Dwight in question to see if he thought it was okay to open it. He finally got his shoes on and walked to the bedroom door while nodding towards Sherry to indicate that he wanted her to aim the pistol at the door.

"It's just the other girls. They always come in this room whenever people try to sneak inside." She explained.

"Brittany included?" Dwight asked knowing that Brittany wasn't in on the plan to smuggle him inside the house. "Can we trust her?"

Sherry thought of the Brittany that she came to know several hours before. Different survival methods aside, she knew that Brittany wasn't a mole. "Do we have a choice?" She asked in return as she thought of the front door being unlocked at any given minute.

Dwight scrunched up his face in obvious uneasiness at the idea. He grumbled a phrase under his breath that Sherry couldn't necessarily hear and slowly opened the door to let the girls in.

The women looked at Dwight as they quietly made their way into the room. None of them looked surprised because they had only planted him in there hours before. Except Brittany who looked baffled as she then concentrated her gaze towards Sherry and then back to Dwight.

Dwight closed the door and locked it while Sherry held the gun towards the door. The girls all sat on either Christy or Sherry's bed as they waited in silence. "This is the only bedroom with a lock on it." Sherry explained to Dwight.

"What's he doing here?" Brittany blurted out in a whisper as she pointed to Dwight.

The girls all looked at each other trying to think of what to say. "We brought him here." Christy finally admitted. "As a thank you for all the cans of food that we got for the last three months."

Brittany raised her eyebrows with shock and peered at Dwight as if a sudden revelation befell her. "_You're _my secret admirer?" She asked dumbly.

Dwight appeared utterly confused at Brittany's outburst but brushed it aside as he leaned on the door to hear what was happening on the other side. Sherry could see his facial expressions in the dark and saw that nothing crucial was happening downstairs. He put his back to the door and looked directly at Brittany as a new worry overcame him. "What can I do to make sure you don't say a word to Negan that I was here?" Dwight questioned her.

Brittany surveyed everyone's face in the room as they in turn gazed at her. Brittany's eyes landed on Sherry as she finally put two and two together in her head.

"The food from Billiard Night?" Brittany asked.

Sherry nodded. "Dwight gave it all to us. We wanted to share with you so we made up your secret admirer." She answered. "I'm sorry but we didn't trust you. We thought you would tell Negan."

Brittany stared down at her hands that rested on her lap. They all anticipated her next reaction as she stayed silent while pondering the information that was given to her. She finally looked up to Dwight with affirmation. "If you guys were the ones feeding me for the past three months, then my lips are sealed." Brittany said.

Sherry felt an overwhelming amount of gratitude towards Brittany at that moment and looked to Dwight who still wore an unconvinced look.

Brittany looked innocently towards him. "Really! I won't say a word! I love my husband but he didn't need to know about the food and he doesn't need to know about…" She then pointed to Dwight and Sherry, "Whatever is happening with you two." She looked thoughtful as she looked towards the ceiling. "So is Dwight your boyfriend, Sherry?" She asked as she reverted back to her typical shallow voice.

Before Sherry could even respond, they heard the front door burst open. Amanda and Megan shrieked at the sudden noise and then soon they could hear several men walk up the stairs with purpose.

"Where you girls at?" One of the men shouted.

"Before we came in here, we saw six men outside." Christy revealed quietly. "It has always been one or two but never six. They'll bust this door open soon!"

"It's not going to matter if I say anything or not. When they open that door, they'll see him in here!" Brittany stated the obvious as they all fell silent while hearing the men on the other side of the door. They listened as the men opened other doors on the second floor as they searched through closets and underneath beds. One by one they heard each door on the second floor open while trying to hold their breaths at the tension. Dwight looked towards Sherry as she stared back him while they waited for the panic to settle in.

A loud banging on the door erupted on Christy and Sherry's door. Nearly all the girls screamed as the men started laughing at their reaction. Sherry held the gun towards the door as they heard the doorknob twisting back and forth to no avail. One of the men whispered on the other side as the fidgeting soon stopped.

Dwight walked towards the door to hear what was going on more clearly. As he listened, he could hear metal touching on metal near the knob. Suddenly, the doorknob starting turning successfully unlocked while Dwight quickly put his whole weight on the door to keep it from opening. Sherry, Ashlyn, and Christy rushed by his side to do the same thing.

They pushed the door closed as all of their weight kept the door closed however, the men on the other side were also trying their best to get inside and started pushing with all of their might.

Dwight looked to Sherry. "They'll be in here soon, Sher." He whispered for only her to hear. "We need a different plan."

Sherry was out of ideas as they continued to try and keep the door shut. Dwight then motioned for Amanda, Megan, and Brittany to take their place by the door. They did so as he quickly took his weight off and walked towards the window.

"What the hell are you doing?" Christy whispered angrily while he opened the window. The door nearly opened behind them as Dwight's absence and strength was immediately felt.

"Trust me." His responded quietly as he climbed out of the window and vanished into the night. The door started budging little by little. The men shouted their small victory as one of the men started counting down from three. Sherry's muscles went rigid knowing the men were going to push their combined weight once the man finished.

"Three, two, one!" The man yelled as the door started opening more and more. "Three, two, one!" They all exclaimed in unison as the door burst open knocking all the girls backwards on the floor. Sherry kept her grip on Dwight's gun as all the girls started crawling away from the door as they men started walking in the room in a single file.

"Well, let's get this party started!" The de facto leader stated as he looked to each other girls. Sherry felt claustrophobic with the men cutting off their entryway. Like Dwight before them, they could have attempted to jump out of the window but didn't have any previous experience with scaling the house as he had. The man looked around at all the frightened girls who stared back at him with terrified eyes. When his eyes finally rested on Sherry, alarm sank in as he saw Dwight's pistol pointing directly at his forehead.

"You need to leave." She instructed with as much authority as she could muster. She willed her body to stay as rigid as possible so the fear that she felt inside wasn't blatantly obvious. Her voice shook from anger and trepidation but she wanted to let the men know that she would kill them if necessary.

The man started to laugh at her while she could smell the liquor on his breath from four feet away. He made no indication that he was going to leave and neither did his friends budge from where they stood.

"Have you ever killed anyone before, missy?" The man asked as he got out his own gun that sat between his hip and belt buckle.

"Don't move." Sherry said but her voice wavered from the front of bravery that she was putting up but the man started walking slowly towards the girls. They all inched away from the men as much as they could.

"Or what?" The man retorted back to Sherry. "I really don't think you are going to do anything to me." With that, he took several steps and grabbed Amanda by her ponytail as he tugged her away. Amanda tried to wrench his hands away while she screamed. Ashlyn stood up but stayed still when the man aimed his gun at her.

"No!" Ashlyn yelled and put her hands to the side of her face in panic. "Amanda!"

Amanda continued to scream as all the girls started to cry. The man started to laugh but was immediately interrupted by a gunshot going off. He looked to see Sherry aim the gun back at him and saw there was a fresh bullet hole in the ceiling above them. "Let her go!" Sherry barked.

The men behind their leader started looking at each other wondering if catching some tail was even worth the effort. Intoxicated or not, they didn't want to die.

Just then, another shot fired as it echoed throughout the small enclosure. Blood had splattered everywhere in Sherry &amp; Christy's bedroom as Sherry looked as surprised as everyone else. She looked at her gun and swore that she couldn't remember pulling the trigger. Yet it looked like a battle had erupted out of nowhere.

"Holy motherfucking shit!" The leader shouted in shock. A man directly behind him slumped to the flood dead with parts of his skull and brains plastered on the walls and floor around him. They all turned to see Dwight facing them with enmity evident in his eyes. He had an assault rifle in hand and was ready to shot again if necessary.

"You guys aren't supposed to be here." Dwight cautioned in a low voice. He sounded dangerous even to Sherry. It had been the third time she had seen him gun down another human being and every time it still unnerved her to see him do something so inhumane; yet unavoidable.

Amanda was near hysterical as the man that was dead laid right beside her. She was bloodied from head to toe while Ashlyn practically dragged her away from the mess.

"Come on." Dwight said in a domineering tone. "Your fun is over. Get out of the house."

The men were all astounded with what had transpired in the last few seconds. They did as Dwight demanded and left their fallen comrade laying on the bedroom floor. They didn't say another words and didn't carry the ego they once had when trying to forcefully get into the house.

Dwight put his gun down and watched them leave the house as he stood by the stairs. Sherry stood up and looked at all the girls as they froze in place. They were all looking at the dead man in the room with his blood splattered everywhere. Amanda was nearly soaked as she started hyperventilating at the trauma that just befell her and the rest of them alike.

"I think you girls should sleep in the basement until Negan gets back." Dwight suggested calmly. "I'll send some men over to clean this mess up. But if you guys are in the basement you won't have to see anymore Saviors tonight. If that's you want."

A few of them nodded their approval at his idea and started inching around the dead man and towards the stairs. Ashlyn helped Amanda off the floor and walked outside the bedroom side by side. Sherry was the last to leave as she slowly walked away from the corpse and then looked to Dwight as the adrenaline started to die away.

When she reached Dwight, she started handing him his pistol but he shook his head. "I would feel a lot better if you kept it for the time being." He uttered gently.

"Why? So I can use it to not shoot anyone again?" Sherry countered as she was angry with herself for hesitating on behalf of Amanda's sanity. It could have all been prevented if she shot the man who grabbed her.

"You're only human, Sher." Dwight reminded and almost pleaded with her. "It's good to still have a conscience about killing people."

Sherry nodded and started walking down the stairs. Dwight carefully grabbed her forearm as she looked to him in question. "Are you okay?" He thought to ask her.

"Yes." Sherry answered sadly but he continued to hold her arm as if he wasn't finished with his thought.

"That was a close call." He stated bitterly. Sherry understood his frustration.

She nodded again. "I know." She replied.

"I don't think it's a good idea to do what we did again." He revealed after a couple of seconds of silence.

A pang rested against her chest at his words but she knew he was right. "Agreed." She finally said.

He looked to her as he reached for her hand and squeezed it once. "I'll take care of the mess in your bedroom. Take care of the girls. They look to have been pretty sheltered from what the world is like outside of Sanctuary." Dwight instructed with a soft spoken voice.

Even then she could hear Amanda wailing in the background. She squeezed his hand back and walked down the stairs without another word.

"Sher, I just don't want you to get hurt. If Negan found out…" Dwight started.

"I know." She said as she turned towards him. "We can't be seen together. I'm not mad at you for saying it. I mad that it's the truth."

Dwight sighed heavily and nodded that she spoke his sentiments aloud. "I wish it was different, Sher." He informed her. "I really do."

"I know." She repeated and heard Amanda still crying. "I have to go." She walked down the rest of the stairs and headed towards the basement door. When she turned the corner and no longer could feel Dwight's eyes behind her, she leaned against the door and closed her eyes shut while feeling the inescapable gloom overcome her. Any happiness that she had felt only hours before felt completely exhausted.

She only felt bitterness.

**AUTHOR'S NOTES, TRIVIAS, &amp; FACTS – **

**#1 – Sherry's birthday is October 8****th****, 1988 making her 21 years old at the time when the apocalypse began. Dwight's birthday is on September 29, 1983 and was 26 years old. But since time has passed, they are both one year older. The flash forward with Doctor Kevin Mitchell would push them another year more with them being 23 &amp; 28 in that timeline. Sherry's birthday is actually MY birthday since a lot of me is ALL of Sherry. If you like Sherry, you'd get along with me just the same. Dwight's birthday is who I imagined playing him and who I still use as reference when I write for Dwight and that is actor Zachary Levi.**

**#2 – The first dream sequence was inspired by the Last of Us' first cut scene.**

**#3 – I felt that Sherry has some untold story about how much she worries about her family and how much she wishes that she could see them. It's always in the back of her mind and if given the chance to sleep, she would dream about them and their whereabouts.**

**#4 – I have said countless times that Sherry and I could be the same person. Another example of this is my hometown being Chicago and my grandparents living in Marquette, Michigan. Now it's just grandma as my grandpa passed away four years ago. I implore all of my readers to look up Marquette on Pinterest. You would be surprised how that small town in the Upper Peninsula resembles a town off the coast of Maine. One of the most serene places that you will ever visit if given the opportunity. Visit the Yooper's! They'll appreciate it.**


	11. Chapter 11

**AUTHOR'S NOTE – I want to preface this chapter by just saying that I have been planning chapters 12-16 for about a year now. I am soooooo looking forward for this being chapter 11 and moving to something that has been playing out in my head for a very long time. Very excited!**

**I have appreciated those who have reviewed! I love reading each and every single one of them! It makes me feel so good to know others are invested in this fanfiction just as much as I am!**

**Even though I have planned for the next chapters for a while, they are not the happiest. My characters have to go through the wringer before things get better. I do want to add a disclaimer now to say that some of those chapters are brutal, merciless, and heartbreaking. Such is the world of Walking Dead though, right?**

**Love you all!**

Chapter 11

Amanda's cries progressed as she started to heave for air in the basement bathroom. Ashlyn was by her side as she tried to calm her down and whisper softly in her ear that everything was going to be okay. Sherry watched from the doorway then looked to the other girls resting on the couch in the main area. They all stared into oblivion while trying to process what had just happened. All of them had the man's blood covering them as it freckled their faces, shirts, arms, and legs. Sherry watched as their faces read absolutely nothing.

They heard footsteps upstairs as Amanda acted up again upon hearing them. Sherry surmised that it was some Saviors cleaning up the mess in her room and could faintly hear Dwight repeat orders to them. The door to the basement opened and closed as someone walked down the stairs. Ashlyn held Amanda close in a tight hug as Amanda started to scream. Ashlyn didn't appear to care about the enormous amount of blood that stained Amanda's clothing. In comparison, Amanda received the brunt of the man's blood than the other girls did. It almost looked like she bathed in it.

Yolanda came into view from the stairwell and looked at the girls with sympathy. "Oh, you poor girls." She exclaimed breathlessly at the sight of them. Even with blood on each of them from the horrific incident upstairs, they all had an unspoken agreement that Amanda should take the first shower. She needed the rest of the night to relax more than they did.

"I am going to get some clean towels and clothes for all of you." Yolanda informed then looked to Ashlyn. "Try and convince her to take a shower. It'll feel good to get clean and relax afterwards." She turned to walk upstairs but decided to comfort Amanda and put a hand on her shoulder. "Don't worry, sweetie. The house is heavily guarded by men that Dwight trusts to do nothing but their business at hand. You're safe right now." With that, she left and walked up the stairs to get the girls their supplies.

Sherry watched her leave in a sort of daze and felt emotionally drained from the conversation that she had with Dwight. She wanted more than anything to have a normal life. Even with all the amenities and luxuries that Sanctuary had within its walls, she would have preferred wandering around the country with the only personal items that she had on her back. If they had never run into Negan, Dwight would have been by her side. Together, they could have survived the new world.

She didn't feel like she was surviving in Sanctuary. She was merely existing. She felt her old self slowly become a stranger as she morphed into someone different. Sherry started to feel fearsome of things that weren't scary to her before and yet she felt numb to the things that should have made her more appalled. She didn't know which side was up or what was wrong or right. All the confusion in her mind made her head hurt as she walked into the bathroom. She felt that she had to at least fix something to get her mind to settle down.

She looked to Ashlyn with a nod as she reached for the shower faucet to have the water run. Sherry tucked the pistol inside her pants that she wore and put her shirt above it to obscure Amanda's view of it. She turned around to look at Amanda. "Shower time," Sherry started. "It's time to get this mess off of you. It'll feel nice to get cleaned up and then lay down on the couch. You heard Yolanda. We're being protected."

Amanda sniffled a response as she continued to hyperventilate. "I hate it here!" She shouted all of a sudden which caused the already rattled girls to jump. "I wish life was like it was before. I was about to graduate high school before all of this happened!"

Sherry swallowed a lump in her throat. She didn't know before that Amanda was only that young in age and her heart ached for her. "We _all _had lives before this. We all had dreams for the future." Sherry said. "Those dreams could still come true. You don't know that they are gone completely."

"I lost my virginity to Negan." Amanda said in hysterics. "This isn't the life I wanted!"

_That's your fault, _a voice in Sherry's head said to her. It almost sounded like Negan's voice invading her thoughts and Sherry furrowed her brows as her eyes twitched with remorse at how violating that felt. Ashlyn started to sob as she held Amanda tightly. Sherry could see more of Amanda's childhood leave at the statement. Every tear that her friends shed was something that Sherry was taking to heart. The voice in her head was right. It was her fault that they were stuck with Negan. She owed her life to protect them and care for them.

Sherry hugged Amanda and Ashlyn close. She rested her cheek on Amanda's shoulder. Then a burning thought came to the forefront of her mind that she felt an urgency to listen to; Amanda couldn't be left alone. "Ashlyn, Yolanda, and I are going to help you get this blood off. Is that okay?" Sherry asked her.

Amanda continued to cry heavily as Yolanda was heard coming back down the stairs with their things. Yolanda came into the bathroom quickly and shut the door behind her. "Sweetie, you are alive still! Count your blessings! You've made it this far." Yolanda soothed in an attempt for Amanda to snap out of her panicked spell.

This only made Amanda cry harder. Ashlyn was also weeping for her younger sister as Sherry could feel her own tears fall down her cheeks along with her chin quivering.

Ashlyn spoke up. "We'll help you get cleaned up, okay?" She offered with her voice breaking.

Amanda looked to the three of them and knew they wouldn't let up as she finally nodded her consent. She wiped the tears from her eyes but still panted uncontrollably. The three all took care of her gently and helped her shower in her fragile state. Once they were done, Sherry suggested that Ashlyn be the next to shower so she could be with her sister as soon as she was clean. Ashlyn complied as Amanda, Sherry, and Yolanda left the bathroom to give her some privacy.

Amanda and Sherry joined the other girls on the couch in the family room as they all looked exhausted from the night's events. Brittany's cheeks looked stained with years as she sat close to Megan as they both held each other close.

"How much more do we have to go through?" Christy pleaded.

_Your fault, _the voice said again as Sherry clenched her eyes shut and tried to breathe Negan's atmosphere away from her. They were all promised to be treated like queens when being married to Negan. Instead, they had been beaten, starved, harassed, and raped. Sherry felt the responsibility of the girl's pain rest on her and only her. She couldn't fight the tears back as they flowed without restrain. She looked to Amanda and was surprised to see that she was no longer crying. She only sat still in a trance as she stared at the coffee table in front of her. Amanda almost looked at peace for a small moment yet it unnerved Sherry.

"Are you feeling better?" Sherry asked Amanda.

Amanda looked to Sherry with a questioning gaze. "Do you really think that the best is yet to come? That this life in Sanctuary is just temporary?" Amanda asked.

Sherry looked around the room as she tried to swallow another wave of tears and negativity. "I have to." She finally answered.

Yolanda joined them on the couch. "Amanda, tell us something that you would like to talk about so you can get your mind off of everything. We'll listen." She suggested.

Amanda closed her eyes and thought to herself. "Did you know that Ashlyn and I had six younger brothers before all of this happened?" Amanda asked all of them.

"All brothers?" Megan spoke up kindly.

"They were all dorks too." Amanda commented as they all laughed lightly at her trying to keep her spirits up. Then her voice took a serious tone once more as if remembering them in any way other than fondly wasn't in good taste. "We got separated from our family when all of the commotion started. Ashlyn and I set out to look for them. We never did."

"How old were they?" Brittany asked while engrossed in the story.

"We were all two years apart. All of us each had a name that started with the letter, 'A.' My parents had names that started with 'A's too." Amanda mentioned. "I wish I knew what happened to them."

"Did you have any hobbies before this happened?" Christy asked to sway her mind away from a less favorable memory.

"I loved to act." Amanda said as a smile nearly crept on her face. "I was part of the drama club in my high school. We just finished our spring production of _My Fair Lady. _I even got the part of Eliza Doolittle." She smiled sadly. "I think that was probably the highlight of my life."

"You were such a great singer, Mandy." Ashlyn said in the bathroom doorway and joined them on the couch while Brittany got up to get in the shower next. "She could have gone on Broadway. That was her plan. We were going to go tour NYU after her graduation." Ashlyn sat next to Amanda and rested her head on her shoulder.

"What was your dream role for Broadway?" Megan asked Amanda.

"It would have been _Mary Poppins._ That used to be my favorite movie growing up." Amanda revealed distantly.

"Mom had to hide the VHS tape of it for a couple of months because she would have it on repeat." Ashlyn teased.

"I loved everything about that movie." Amanda said distantly as if playing all the memories from her part in her head like its own movie.

"I know I should have asked this before but where did you guys used to live before this all happened?" Yolanda asked. "You guys can't all be from the D.C. area?"

"We lived in Pennsylvania." Ashlyn said for herself and Amanda then looked to Yolanda. "What about you?"

"I lived in Atlanta, Georgia." Yolanda answered. Then she looked to the rest of the girls to receive responses from them. It was an odd feeling that swept over Sherry to think about her past when such a traumatic moment just took place that made her feel more separate from her home. It all seemed so far away as if it was an untouchable dream.

However she spoke up in a somewhat rehearsed manner since everyone else didn't answer right away. She had to fill the silence with something. "I lived in Chicago but was going to school in Georgia." Sherry told. "That's how I met Yolie."

Megan spoke up. "I'm from Minnesota. We came to D.C. because we heard it would be the safest place. I mean, why would we think otherwise with the way things were?" She said quietly but her voice almost sounded betrayed from her group's previous logic since the quest for a safer place proved to be unfruitful.

"I'm from North Carolina." Christy said sadly as Sherry could tell her mind was elsewhere. She could only assume she was thinking about her deceased husband.

"Now we're all together in ways that we wouldn't have been previously." Yolanda said with a slight amazement detected in her voice. Sherry appreciated Yolanda trying to cheer them up but could sense something was blocking even her from taking part in any sense of happiness. Slowly, there was a wall going up in between Sherry and every ordinary thing.

The girls continued to talk amongst themselves as they all each took turns in the shower. Sherry volunteered to take the last shower as they all told tales of their former lives. Amanda was a drama student. Ashlyn was a physics major at Carnegie Mellon University. Megan decided to take the alternate route in life and worked part time at Mall of America but she loved it. Brittany just enrolled into cosmetology school to start her life back on the right track. Christy was married to someone who cared about her and was starting to work at an elementary school.

They spoke of happy things. With every joyful memory shared was another stab that Sherry felt as the knife twisted further into her conscience. Logically, Sherry knew it wasn't her fault that they no longer led the life they used to. Yet there was an incessant voice that kept on repeating the responsibility she had for their lives in the present. If she could go back in time, she wouldn't have been a prude around Negan only to prevent him from taking on more wives. Maybe the idea of multiple wives intrigued him regardless but she still wondered if that would have made the ultimate difference.

Sherry also felt responsible for what happened to the girls in the future. She didn't understand why the girls didn't hate her already. Sherry felt that they should have hated her for all the grief she had caused them. She hated herself for the same reason.

Once it was her turn to shower, she closed the bathroom door behind her and leaned against it. She slowly sank down to the floor as if feeling all the pressure from her life suddenly topple on top of her in one fell swoop. Tears quietly fell down her cheeks as she looked to the ceiling dazedly. Oh, how many things she wished she could change for herself and for everyone around her. Everyone had such high aspirations before the apocalypse happened. Sherry wished with all of her might that she could change it for them and that things would be like they were before.

She stayed sitting against the bathroom door for a half hour as she heard the girls speak about their lives more in the other room. _How many more have to suffer for me? _She thought of all the people who were put in their situation because of her. Dean was killed because it was her plan to leave. Dwight was Negan's right hand man for the same reason. Yolanda was basically a servant for Negan's wives. And her sister wives had the raw end of every deal. _My sister wives, _Sherry thought. For the first time, the phrase almost became a term of endearment. As if friends was too little of a word to describe the connection she felt towards them.

She shook her head to get herself back together then stood up. She turned the faucet on for the shower and waited for the water to warm up. She took her clothes off and put the pistol that was tucked in her pants on top of the counter as the mirror started to fog with humidity. She let her hair fall down from her ponytail and spotted the back of her arms slightly while performing the task. Sherry hardly dared to look at her backside with the scars that Negan had given her months ago while trying to escape Sanctuary.

In a moment of bravery, Sherry put her palm to the mirror to try and get rid of some of the mist. For the first time, she turned herself around to try and catch a glimpse of her back. Never had she tried to look at it before and she gasped at the sight. The slashes on her back could have been in the hundreds as they zigzagged all over her back. When Negan beat her, she lost track of how many times he whipped her only to keep from screaming.

All the emotions she had felt started to concave on her as she caught herself sobbing. She put a hand over her mouth so the girls in the other room wouldn't hear. She could almost feel the strong person she used to be start to slip away. She tried to swallow her sadness away as she hopped into the shower. She sat down in the shower and brought her knees to her chest as the shower rained upon her. She kept her head under the downpour to give all of her senses a break. It worked to mute everything around her as she was left to think of the defenses she put against her friends. The warm water felt good to her muscles which had been so tense throughout the last several hours. It had to have been nearly morning time as the night's events just seemed to whiz by in the blink of an eyes.

Just then, she thought she heard the door creak open as her body went back to being on high alert. She sat still to try and hear a follow up noise behind the shower curtain. When no other sound came, she opened the curtain slightly to peek at the bathroom but nothing seemed out of the ordinary. Not completely satisfied with the regularity of the bathroom, she finally forced herself to relax and told herself that it was just her mind playing games with her again. She continued to wash herself and hair but wasn't able to unwind the way she was before.

She turned the shower off and reached for a towel that hung just behind the curtain. Sherry quickly dried herself off and put new clothes on that Yolanda grabbed for her. As she was brushing her hair, she heard a blood curdling scream come from one of her friends. It sounded like Ashlyn. Sherry opened the bathroom door to see that there was no one left in the basement. She heard people talking upstairs in an almost heated and terrifying conversation as she took two stairs at a time to see what the problem was.

Sherry reached the top of the stairs and saw that everyone on the front porch watching someone with a guarded and fearful look. The guard, Dwight, Yolanda, and the girls cautiously had their hands up as if trying to coax someone to calm down if their life depended on it. When Sherry walked onto the porch, her heart plummeted at the sight. _This is your fault._

Amanda was holding Dwight's pistol to her head as she breathed heavily with determination and adrenaline. Sherry knew that the noise she heard while she was in the shower had to be Amanda retrieving the gun from the bathroom counter. _Why didn't I like the door?_

"Amanda!" Ashlyn begged. "Please don't do this! I need you!"

"Please don't ask me to stay." Amanda said fighting back tears. "I can't live here for one more minute!"

Dwight started walking towards her to try and get the gun away from Amanda. With every step he took, she would take another step backwards while keeping her eyes on him as if being cornered. Ashlyn started to cry as if her own life was being taken away from her.

"Amanda, please!" Sherry said while filling in for Ashlyn who could no longer speak over her sobbing. "This can't be what the rest of our lives will be like. It'll get better."

"You can't promise that." Amanda said hysterically.

"No. I can't. I know that." Sherry agreed with her voice raised in emotion. "But don't you want to try and hold on for as long as you can just in case?"

"What if there is _nothing else, _Sherry? What if we are doomed to live this life forever?" Amanda countered with tears streaming down.

"You can't think like that!" Sherry responded in a panic.

"Then you are being naïve!" Amanda accused loudly. Ashlyn couldn't stop crying and fell to the porch as Megan rushed to comfort her. However, Ashlyn was beyond consoling.

"You aren't being naïve for being hopeful, Amanda!" Sherry stressed. "Please! Amanda! For God's sake! You're too strong for this! You've stuck it out this far. We need you!"

Amanda's hand started to shake as the realization of what she was doing started to swarm around her. She let out a cry and lowered the gun from her head. Amanda looked at it while Sherry could see her mind working through her thought process. Sherry held her breath and waited. She was hopeful that Amanda wouldn't commit suicide. The idea was unfathomable.

Dwight continued to slowly walk towards her with his hand outstretched. "Amanda. Give me the gun. You don't want to do this." Dwight coached carefully.

Amanda looked to Dwight as Sherry could see her decision had been made. She then glanced at Ashlyn one more time with a small smile. "No more." Amanda whispered. With that, she put the gun in her mouth and fired. The shot sounded as everything fell to slow motion in Sherry's mind.

She heard Megan and Ashlyn scream as they held each other. Megan blocked her view of Amanda and cried into Ashlyn's shoulder. Christy started to immediately wail and look the other direction while plugging her ears to mute the noise of Amanda's body falling to the floor. Dwight caught Amanda's lifeless body just in time before she hit the porch but quickly and gently placed her on the floor as he walked away and put a hand over his mouth in shock at what just happened. Brittany had two hands over her mouth as she stood frozen in time. She kept her eyes on Amanda unlike everyone else.

Sherry hit the floor with her knees when she felt as if she couldn't physically and mentally hold herself up anymore. She only felt this added to her list of things on her shoulders. _I should've locked the bathroom door, _she thought to herself.

…

October 2011 – 4 Months Later

…

_Kevin sat opposite of Sherry in their session. Over the last couple of hours, Sherry had told him of her time in Sanctuary as her story unfolded to be an even worse outcome than he could imagine. Kevin looked at his notes to recap her entire journey in Sanctuary. They got captured and witnessed the death of a member in their group. Sherry was forced into an unholy union with Negan. They tried to escape but had to separate from a part of their group as the Saviors closed in on them. They were nearly beaten to death. They were betrayed by someone who should have only been on their side. Sherry felt an enormous responsibility to the girls that Negan took as his wives. Amanda's death. On top of that, they were given small portions of food and Sherry couldn't sleep which made her hallucinate._

_Kevin sympathized with Sherry. No longer did her wonder why she was the way she was. On paper, she endured an entire year of the worst life condition in an already cruel world. "Was this the incident that you were referring to?" He asked her._

_She sat still and stared at the coffee table. "No." She said firmly._

_Kevin couldn't believe his ears that the incident that haunted her the most wasn't even discussed yet. _But she has already been through so much!

"_That's next." Sherry clarified._

_Kevin studied her countenance as she sat in silence. "Are you ready to talk about it? If you aren't, we don't have to. It's entirely up to you." He said to her in a kind voice._

"_Can I ask you something first?" Sherry asked him._

_Kevin nodded. "Of course." He replied._

"_When Amanda was on the porch, I told her that I…we…needed her," Sherry began. "For some reason, I feel like that was wrong thing to say. Did we really need her there with us? I felt selfish for saying that. Did we need her to empathize with us? To be just as miserable as we were?"_

_Kevin thought for a minute before he answered. "Is that how you feel you meant it?" He asked._

_She shook her head vigorously. "No! I wouldn't wish our lives on anyone." She confirmed._

"_Then how did you mean it?" Kevin asked._

_She shrugged. "I don't know. I think in that moment when I said it, I had this vision of the apocalypse being over and life being back to normal. In my mind, she was there with the rest of us girls. We were all just friends that had regular lives. Now if that actually happens in the future, she won't be there with us." Sherry answered distantly as if taken back to the same encouraging thought._

"_Do you blame her for committing suicide?" Kevin inquired._

"_I blame myself." Sherry said without hesitation. "Maybe she would have felt her life had purpose if she didn't belong to Negan. It's my fault for putting her in that situation. I was the one who pushed her over the edge."_

"_He could have taken on more wives whether you have yourself to him or not. Even if that were the case, I only see one person responsible and accountable for your life and the life of your friends. It isn't you that should carry this guilt. It's Negan." Kevin informed. "Negan is the one who killed Hannah. Not you. He's the one who compromised Haruki. He's the one who forced your hand. He's the one who forces Dwight's loyalty. He's the one who put Amanda in a hopeless situation."_

_Sherry took a hand to quickly wipe the tears forming in her eyes. Kevin saw that as a sign of more recovery. He could almost visibly see the weight of all the gloom that she carried start to leave right before him._

"_When you had that thought of things being back to normal, it gave you some glimmer of hope. Do you still believe that one day Sanctuary will only be a memory?" Kevin asked._

"_No." Sherry maintained in an emotionless voice. "Negan is too powerful. He's taken on two other communities that bow down to his every will. Who is going to be stupid enough to fight back?"_

"_Anyone can fight against him in different ways. From your story, it sounds like you kept yourself fighting his advances at all costs." Kevin said as he wrote in his notes._

_Sherry took a deep breath. "I'm ready to tell you the rest of the story." She notified._

_Kevin stopped writing and looked up to her in question. "Are you sure?" He asked._

_She nodded once and took a deep breath. Sherry closed her eyes while Kevin could see it was like she was almost bringing her mind back to the moment that changed her forever. "That night, I was such a mess. I needed to get my mind off of how much my life sucked. I felt that life owed me some small sense of happiness. Some outlet where I could just be myself." She said in almost a rant._

_Kevin wrote in his notes to keep up with the story so he could remember the key points for the next session. However, he had a feeling that he already knew where the story was headed. Her next sentence verified his suspicions. _

"_That night I went to Dwight's house." She uttered._

**AUTHOR'S NOTES, TRIVIA, &amp; FACTS**

**#1 – The story of Amanda being in My Fair Lady is loosely based off a book that I read where the main character is confronted by date rape. I paid an homage to that book as it was my favorite book when coming to terms with my own personal story of sexual abuse. It's called Brittany by Jack Weyland. Anyways, Amanda's age matched with Brittany in his book and I molded them to have the same passions with the theatre!**

**#2 – For those who read the comics, you will know that Negan is against rape. I tweaked this ONLY slightly. I wanted to portray the view that the way Negan sees rape is very black &amp; white. What would be considered rape to most people, isn't what he would consider rape. It's very relative to him. As I think it's relative to most of the population in the world that we live in. Should it be? Nope. There are a lot of gray areas to that subject matter. However, the bottom line is simpler than people paint it to be. No means no! That's it. No threats, no owing, no guilt trip. No means no.**

**#3 – In the very beginning stages of this series, I had an idea of Sherry attempting to commit suicide for book 3 but ended up giving Amanda that story line as I felt in my heart that's where the story was headed when I wrote out Chapter 10. It was out of character for Sherry but I wanted to give depth to the women who are enduring her same nightmare and show how they deal with it in different ways. Sherry is an optimist deep down. I think that she always hopes for a silver lining and is bluffing when she says otherwise. I don't think others would hold out hope the way that she does though. It would be unrealistic to say that each of them wanted to wait for a better life. It **_**is **_**realistic to imagine at least one of them not wanting to figure out how much longer they would be in that situation. They have no idea how long Negan wants them. Amanda was scared and was pushed past the breaking point where she couldn't stand it any longer. Understandably so. Negan isn't putting them in the best position to remain positive.**

**#4 – Rest in peace, Amanda! You'll be missed by your fictitious sister and friends! But your memory extends to real readers and me!**


	12. Chapter 12

**AUTHOR'S NOTE – Chapter 16 will be the last chapter of book 2! Then book 3 begins. Get ready to start seeing some familiar faces from the TV show/comics in that book!**

**Follow me as an author so you get updated about book 3! And I have a name for book 3….(drumroll)… Vessel! Yes, book 3 is going to be called Vessel. Based on a song of the same name by Dry the River. Very good. Very epic. Take a listen somewhere if you can. I love it!**

**Well, here is chapter 12! Enjoy!**

Chapter 12

Sherry wandered into her freshly cleaned bedroom and shut the door for some alone time. Earlier in that day, she and her sisters had a small funeral for Amanda. Dwight ordered some men to dig a grave that sat by the side of their house underneath the tree. It was almost reminiscent of when her group buried Jason and Terri's daughter where she continued to rest under the willow tree at the mansion. Yet instead of receiving peace at her interment, Sherry wondered why Amanda was even gone. Walkers should have been the only reason why people died in the new world.

For the rest of the day, the girls were all alone in their grief as the Saviors worked tirelessly to finish the fence that encircled the mill. She hardly heard or saw anyone out and about until they all heard a cheer near the mill. She assumed that the fence was finally complete and that they were now clearing the mill of any walkers that were in the vicinity. The girls stayed in the basement. They weren't motivated to do anything but sit and mentally repeat the events of the previous night and morning. Twice they had witnessed death right in front of their eyes. The first time was not as much of an emotional blow as the second.

With the day almost gone, Sherry had to get away and sort things through all by herself. Ashlyn wished to be left alone once Amanda was buried and cried in a bedroom that was in the basement. As Sherry stood in her own room, she could still hear the constant cries for a fallen sister. Sherry couldn't imagine what it felt like to lose the only family member left in the world. She made new family members with her group but to truly have someone that was known since birth had to be gut wrenching.

Sherry sat on her bed and could smell the clean sheets beneath her. She gazed around the room and couldn't see or smell any signs of death. Yet, that was all she could see when she looked down at her wooden floors. Someone met their doom and it was like a domino effect for a person she cared about.

Then a sudden sense of calm rolled in when she heard the sound of thunder outside. It only seemed fitting that the sun wasn't shining on that day. It reflected the way Sherry felt although she couldn't deny her love for thunderstorms. Raindrops started to fall against her window as she looked outside to see a flash of lightning.

The torrential rain was almost encouraging Sherry to leave the house and get some fresh air. As if acting on instinct, she reached for her shoes and socks and decided to do something simple yet it was a decision that wouldn't have an effect on anyone else but her. She walked down the stairs and out the door while she avoided looking to the right of the porch where one of the worst memories was etched in her brain. Once she reached the street, another thunderclap echoed throughout the sky as she walked towards Negan's house. She normally didn't care to be around anything that belonged to him but one of her favorite places to go in Sanctuary was his backyard. She opened the white picket fence and saw that the many lilacs were starting to bloom. Sherry walked to the back while her skin, hair, and clothes were already soaked from the rain. She meandered to the center of the yard where a wooden picnic table stood and sat on top of it. She decided to lay flat across it as she looked up to the sky. Lightning could be seen from several places sporadically as she laid there for a long time.

For reasons that she didn't understand, the moment of alone time gave her the peace she needed. She blocked the pain she felt from the last thirteen months in the new world. Instead, she thought of absolutely nothing which gave her inexplicable happiness.

However, as if a knock on the door, a thought tried to enter Sherry's mind no matter how hard she tried not to think of it. It was when she woke up from being knocked unconscious after she slapped Negan for killing Hannah. She had wished that she died that day to not feel the guilt of losing someone on her watch. She remembered the conversation that she had with Dwight and the pain she saw in his eyes as he delivered every word that Negan wanted her to hear.

"_He wants you." Dwight said in a tone that sounded completely deflated and depressed. "He said that if you don't comply with his every request, he will kill the group." She could feel the warmth in his hands on her shoulders completely vanish when he relayed the news to her._

She thought of the look on Dwight's face before he delivered the message that changed her life forever. The words that he said would stay with her for as long as she lived.

"_One day, I promise to make things better for you, Sherry. I promise." He said as his dark eyes stared into her own._

The calmness she felt started to leave as she instead felt anger towards Negan. Sherry felt hatred towards the man more than she ever had previously at that moment. He was a man devoted to breaking people so they bended to his every will. She wasn't the only victim as many fell prey to his manipulation.

She thought of Dwight. The only thing that she wanted was to be with him and yet she was blocked from the very thing that she wanted most. She was sick of being told what to do. She was sick of being in Sanctuary. She was sick of everything that involved Negan. She could feel the rage boil inside her as the rain continued to fall on her face.

Sherry sat up and looked around Negan's garden of flowers. Near the back of yard was a small canopy that led to another section of the lavish area. Underneath the canopy, she saw the hallucination of her father guarding her faithfully. Her face was emotionless as Sherry refused to walk towards him like she had done in the past. Whenever she followed the apparition, he usually disappeared from sight. Instead, she eyed him warily as she continued to mourn for the hell that was Sanctuary. Not for the place itself, but the people inside that it plagued.

Sherry wished that she could hurt Negan. She truly wished that she could kill him. Overall, she wished that could get rid of the sorrow for everyone and not just her. She wanted the nightmare to at long last be over.

The unknowingness of timelines eluded her and made her more frustrated. How long was she going to be in Sanctuary? How long would she remain unhappy? How many of her friends had to die around her while she was still breathing? The feeling of anger turned into pity for herself. She didn't know how long she could last being the wife of whom she considered to be the devil. Above all, she wanted to be a survivor and no longer exist.

She closed her eyes as she thought of what to do to make her life better. She wanted to talk to somebody about the way she felt. She just needed to vent about the direction that her life was headed.

Another thunderclap hit and was the loudest one yet as she started towards the direction she knew would make her happy. Sherry knew the risk but decided to ignore it. For once, she was going to make the calls in her own life. There was nothing that Negan could do about it.

… 

Dwight killed several walkers as they worked to empty inside of the mill from any biters. One of his favorite things about living in a civilization where dead people walked the earth was whenever he felt the need to hit someone really hard, there were always walkers at the ready for target practice.

Dwight was living one of those days. He couldn't stop thinking about Amanda's death as it played over and over in his head throughout the day while he worked at the mill. He hardly knew the girl but something about her death shook him to the core. It could have easily been Sherry. The two shared the same lives under Negan's careful watch and something about last night made Amanda snap. Dwight hoped beyond hope that Sherry wouldn't go to such lengths to end her agony. He had hoped that she kept some sliver of faith that there was more in their life beyond Sanctuary. _There has to be, _Dwight thought.

"Well, I think this place is officially cleared, boss." Hansen said as he walked down the steps from a higher level of the mill. "Want to get a drink?" He asked Dwight in the hopes that Dwight would unlock the bar door to celebrate the finished fence.

Dwight looked up and shook his head. "No. I think I'm going to head home. I had a long night last night." He said as he started walking out of the mill.

"What exactly are you going to say to Negan when he gets back?" Hansen inquired. "Men tried to break in the women's house last night, one Savior is dead, and one of his wives is already buried six feet under. I hate to be in yours shoes when you have that conversation with him."

Dwight shrugged it off but wondered to himself what he would say when the time came. He hardly cared how Negan was going to take the news. "I don't think he'll be bothered all that much." He confessed as a matter-of-factly.

Hansen scrunched up his nose in confusion but then nodded to himself. "I guess you're right. He has five more anyways." The older man reasoned with a sad tone.

The phrase made Dwight bristle as if Negan thought his wives were somewhat disposable. Dwight nodded a farewell to Hansen and started to walk out of the mill as he saw a bonfire that the Saviors were attempting to make in the pouring rain for the extra walker bodies.

"Wouldn't bother!" He yelled to the Saviors to be heard over the rain. "You can get started on that tomorrow instead! Enjoy the rest of your day off!"

They shouted with joy and relief at the fact that they could just relax until Negan got back. No longer did they have to worry about getting the fence completed. There were still a couple of things that needed to get done but Dwight thought they could just finish it the following day instead.

Dwight walked slowly into town under the rainfall. He wasn't in any hurry as the thunder was almost welcoming to him as he made his way to his house. He felt exhausted. He received zero sleep from the night before. Even though no one knew he was in Sherry's room that night, he still felt as if he had to sleep with one eye open. They were so close to getting caught when the men tried to take advantage of the women. On another note, he was glad that she was able to sleep comfortably next to him. He was glad that she felt safe.

He hated the limitations he felt to keep her safe. He hated living in a place where if he left, she was in danger. He hated the small amount of time they were able to have with each other. He hated telling her that they couldn't see each other anymore for fear of being caught. He almost wished that he didn't say it. If he could ever have a do-over, he would have never said those words to her. As if when he said it, a small glimmer of who she was had left. He wasn't like Negan; he didn't want to break her.

Dwight walked into his empty house. Yolanda was with the girls for the entire day and tended to their every need. He appreciated her efforts to care for the girls when they needed someone to try and keep their composure.

Dwight stopped at the stairs and looked at the floor. All the way up the stairs, mud had tracked where someone had walked. He knew it wasn't Yolanda's shoe prints because she always took her shoes off before entering the house. The shoe prints were light as if someone was trying to sneak in unnoticed.

He quietly unsheathed his small knife and held it as he slowly and stealthily walked up the stairs. Once he walked up the stairs, he saw the prints lead directly to his bedroom and saw the door was closed. He took several deep breaths as he put a hand on the doorknob. _One, two, three, _he counted to himself as he opened the door fast and was ready to scare whomever was sneaking into his room.

And then he saw Sherry sitting next to his bed on the floor. She was soaking wet from the rain outside. She hardly reacted to when he burst into the room. He was speechless that she was actually in his house and didn't know what to say to her. Should he tell her to leave just to be safe? He was at a loss at what to do or say. He thought he could start looking somewhat civil by sheathing his knife back in place as he did so slowly. He knew it would have been the best choice for both of them if he told her that she couldn't be in his bedroom yet he couldn't bring himself to say it. She looked so sorrowful and beautiful to him at that moment. He needed her just as much as she needed him.

"I can't do this anymore." Sherry whispered. Dwight felt floored at her statement as he heard Amanda say something similar earlier that day. What Amanda did was something he hoped Sherry would never do; no matter how hard life got.

Sherry continued as Dwight walked to his window curtains to close them for more privacy. When he did so, the room immediately darkened with little light to be had. But he could still her face held a sadness that he wanted to kiss away. "I can't do this." She repeated. "I'm so tired of being told what to do and how to live my life." She stood up from the floor as Dwight stayed silent while watching her. He hated to see her crumble right before his eyes.

"I don't know why I came here." Sherry continued. "I just thought…even though we said we couldn't see each other anymore…" She closed her eyes for several seconds and opened them again as she tried to swallow the lump in her throat. "Dwight, I need you. I can't do this on my own. If there is anyone that can help keep me strong throughout all of this, it's you." She blinked several times as tears fell from her eyes and down her cheeks. "I love you."

In that moment, Dwight knew exactly what to do. He promptly closed the distance between them and kissed her on the lips. He cupped his hands on each side of her face as she held his forearms to keep herself from falling over. He couldn't ask her to leave. Not when she just said the words that he had been waiting to hear. She loved him. He felt incredibly undeserving of her love but she chose him. He had to be with her from knowing that.

He kissed her tenderly and passionately as all of his frustrations about his life in Sanctuary started to dwindle away. His kissed her mouth, her neck, her cheeks. He couldn't get enough of her as she embraced him tightly like he was her lifeline.

The mood was quickly changing to be more passionate as Dwight's hands started to feel her bare waist underneath her clothing. Her skin was soft to the touch as he held her firmly unwilling to let her go. Dwight kissed her on the lips more while letting his tongue explore her mouth. She let him do so and reciprocated his body language as she leaned towards Dwight to be closer to him.

Dwight started backing Sherry up against the wall by his bed and pressed her against it while continuing to kiss her deeply. He could feel Sherry's heart start to race from the movement as he broke their embrace slightly and looked her in the eyes to try and read where their encounter was headed. Sherry looked back at him with vulnerable eyes and slowly reached for his jacket. She started to slide it off of his shoulders as it fell to the ground. Dwight took her hands gently to his face and kissed them carefully as he placed his forehead against hers. "Are you sure?" He asked.

She nodded as he quickly kissed her face by her response with a smile on his face. She grinned in return as Dwight unzipped her jacket while leaning down to kiss her collar bone underneath it. He threw her jacket over his then put his hands on her outer thighs. He was slowly getting achy from bending over to kiss her as there was a thirteen inch height difference between them. He secured his grip and lifted her up against the wall as she wrapped her legs around him. She held onto his shoulders for balance as he took her off the wall and gently placed her on the bed with him on top of her.

He took his shirt off and started to unbuckle his belt. Sherry sat up and put her hands on top of his. Dwight looked to her wondering why she stopped him but then she only pushed his hands away and started the process of unbuckling his pants herself. Once his belt was off she unzipped his pants as he stood up slightly and pushed them down along with his boxers.

Sherry breathed nervously as Dwight could see the look of sensitivity was still evident on her face. He wondered what to do to make her more comfortable and relaxed so she could enjoy their moment more instead of being filled with fear. He got down on his knees beside the bed and admired her face. He put his hand up to her face and traced the outline of her jaw while she closed her eyes. A tear escaped as he wiped it away. "I won't ever hurt you, Sherry." He assured.

"I know you won't." Sherry replied softly. He could feel her body loosened up somewhat as he guided her to lay down on the bed while he kissed her neck. He lifted her shirt slightly and then kissed her stomach while Sherry started to breathe ardently from the action. His hands held her hips as he continued to give her soft kisses. Once her breathing seemed steadier, he started to unzip her jeans. She slightly lifted herself up so they would come off more easily. Dwight slid her pants down her legs while she sat up and took her shirt off herself. Once her shirt was gone, he got back on top of her and kissed her lips again.

Dwight regretted that he had seen her in similar clothing before at multiple Billiard Night's. He knew it was embarrassing to her to be so scantily clad in front of men who ogled her appearance. However, he had to admit to himself that he was known for being less of a gentleman for peering a lot longer than he should have. He was ashamed of himself for not having more self-control before. But he was grateful for the rare opportunity to be with her then. Sherry wasn't the kind of person to invite just anybody in. He wondered what he had done right for such a special privilege.

The only items of clothing left were her bra and underwear. The last time they were together, all affection ceased progression once he fumbled with her bra. He didn't want to make her distressed once more and broke their kiss. She looked up to him in question as he stared at her intently.

He reached for her bra strap at her shoulder and played with it for a little bit to indicate whether or not she wanted to deal with it or keep it on. She looked at him with understanding and sat up once more to reach for her bra strap and then unclasped it. Her bra fell as Dwight helped take it off.

"Sherry…you are…" Dwight stammered out his sentence but was cut off by Sherry who kissed him again. He didn't need to say anything for her to understand that he thought she was the most beautiful woman that he had ever seen. He grabbed her middle and fell on top of her as he kissed her neck. His bare skin felt good on hers as he closed his eyes to just take in the feeling. "How did I get so lucky?" He asked in passing but continued his kisses from below her throat to her chest.

"You were the only guy around." She joked as he smiled at her sense of humor.

"Shut up." He replied while he rolled his eyes. He held the hem of her underwear and tugged. "This definitely has to go." He said firmly. She took another shaky breath and lifted herself up again. He hand pulled her underwear down as she kicked them off once they fell past her knees.

They both made their intentions clear as to what was going to happen next. Never had he been so ready to be with someone. Everything felt deserved and good. Even though Dwight felt like she could do better, he was glad she wanted to be with regardless. "You nervous?" He asked.

"I would be lying if I said no." She said. "It's been awhile."

He kissed the temple of her forehead. "That's actually good to hear." He whispered sweetly. He then reached down as he continued to kiss her. Once he found where he wanted to go, he rocked into her as she breathed sharply.

"You okay?" He asked with worry.

She nodded as she strained her neck to kiss him. He rocked back and forth slowly as she wrapped his arms around him. Sherry breathed through her nose but wasn't getting enough air and let out a gasp while he focused on kissing her neck and shoulder. He reached for her hands and placed them above her head while interlacing her fingers with his. He picked up the speed while her fingers dug into the top of his hands.

It was the most contentment that he had in a very long time. Sherry had always made him the most elated that he had ever felt in his whole life; even in his first twenty-years before the apocalypse. Time with her was so comforting. It felt so right to be with her. He thought of the moment when he first met Sherry. He had no idea at the time what a whirlwind of a life they would share together. They had been through so much in the duration that they had known each other. It seemed like every trial just brought them closer together.

As more minutes passed, he could feel he was close to finishing. Sherry started to pant heavily which was putting him over the edge. "No kids, right?" Dwight asked.

She nodded knowing he was talking about her infertility issues. "Impossible." She responded breathlessly.

"Good." He gasped as his muscles tensed up and he groaned from releasing inside of her. His body relaxed on top of Sherry with immediate exhaustion as he rested his head on her shoulder. A mixture of sweat and water from the rain made both of them drenched while they both breathed heavily taking each other in and the experience they had just shared.

…

They laid on his bed for a long time as they heard the rain continue to pour on top of the roof. With a sheet on top of them, Sherry was on her side as Dwight spooned her. He gently stroked her shoulder to the bottom of her ribcage with his index finger. He then took her arm and reached for her hand and kissed her fingers. She moved to her back so she could see his face. "What are you thinking?" She asked him quietly.

Dwight smiled as he propped his head above his arm. "I'm thinking that you're the best person I know." He replied. "And you're kind of cute."

Sherry rolled her eyes but then looked at the window to see the outside was pitch black. "I should go." She said as she tried to get up. Instead, Dwight tugged her back down. "What if I'm not ready to see you leave?" He asked.

She looked at him and smiled sadly. "I want to stay." She confessed.

"Then just stay." He suggested. "I assigned guards to be at your house tonight anyways. They'll leave in the morning. There's no way you wouldn't get to your house unnoticed."

Sherry sighed and then got back in bed as she snuggled in close. "Fine." She relented warmly. "You win."

"Like it was ever a contest." Dwight said as he wrapped his arms around her. She rested her head on his chest and sighed. He could sense her downhearted mood start coming back as he look at her with curiosity. "What's wrong?" He questioned.

"Do you think we'll ever get another moment like this?" She asked him.

"I hope so." He mused. "I wish our lives were simpler."

"Me too." She said softly. Dwight continued to gaze at her and was worried their moment was going to be taken away too soon with the worry of Negan finding out. That was something to consider but he refused to let it get him down while he was still holding her.

"Describe what you want in five years from now." He pondered out loud for her to answer.

Sherry thought about it for several moments. "Hm…This could be a long list," she began and contemplated some more. " I guess it comes down to three things. I want Sanctuary to be a distant memory. I want the world to start becoming what it used to be." She looked up to him and rested her chin on his chest. "I want to be with you for the rest of my life. What about you?"

"You took all of my answers." He complained lightly. "I'm glad we're on the same page."

They laid in silence as they thought of a better tomorrow. Dwight stared up at the ceiling and decided to voice his thoughts out loud. "Please never lose hope, Sherry. I don't know what I would do without you." He urged.

She leaned up to kiss him on the left side of his cheek. "Likewise." She answered. Sherry knew he was referring to Amanda. She couldn't ever fathom taking her own life and hoped that she would never feel so helpless.

They slept side by side as thunder burst every couple of minutes. Sherry had never felt more at peace in her life as she did in that moment. Even when she should have been thinking of all the things that could go wrong, she pushed the worries aside and focused on the harmony of their hearts beating together.

There was nothing that could bring her down.

**AUTHOR'S NOTES, TRIVIA, &amp; FACTS**

**#1 – This was the very first love scene I wrote. Go me I guess? Super awkward at first if I'm being honest. Like sexting with every detail being described. But after a while, you get used to it and decide to just do justice for the characters. Fictional or not, they deserved something that didn't sound force (which is why I went back to rewriting it several times because I thought it could have been better than the original time I wrote it).**

**#2 – I purposefully didn't want it to be as kinky as possible. Sherry isn't a sex goddess that knows every detail from Cosmopolitan. Neither is Dwight a porn actor. My husband always jokes to me when I write fanfiction and quotes 10 Things I Hate About You. "Quivering member… I like that…" Ya know, the scene where the teacher is writing a smut novel. Love that movie. But I digress. I felt it more important to write the sweetness of the scene versus the "pulsating with desire…" Let me clarify that there is nothing wrong with the writers that DO write smut. However, if I attempt smut, it will always come across as being less authentic and forced. Therefore, I got to write from the other side of a love scene….which is love… haha**

**#3 – I kept The Loved Ones by Sanders Bohike on repeat for this chapter. It just seemed very fitting and just tender hearted for the love that Dwight &amp; Sherry have for each other. I try very hard to have their love be something that is one in a million. Not necessarily out of reach or unrealistic but I believe there are couples that just get each other and put themselves second to give attention to the ones they love. Sherry and Dwight have proven a hundredfold to make each other their ultimate priority. Love is not selfish.**


	13. Chapter 13

**AUTHOR'S NOTE – I don't know if I need to apologize for this but I will anyways. I am sorry for updating as many chapters as I am in a short period of time. It's just that I have been planning these chapters for a very long time. They are writing themselves.**

Chapter 13

Sherry snuck out of Dwight's house when she saw the guards on her front porch leave. Dwight had to already leave to start work on clearing the other fence that separated the mill and the rest of Sanctuary. Sherry made sure no one was around when she made a break for it. The sky was lightly sprinkling morning rain as she made her walk to the house. Again, she tried to make zero eye contact with the side of the porched that Amanda had claimed her own life at. She quickly and quietly opened the door and tiptoed inside. She closed the door behind her while keeping a hand on the knob so it wouldn't make any noise then started slowly walking up the stairs to her room.

"Where were you last night?" She heard Yolanda scold from the living room. Sherry's face cringed as she turned around to see Yolanda sitting on the couch with a book in her hands. Sherry already suspected that Yolanda knew the answer.

"I was at your house." Sherry said simply with her head down while looking at the steps beneath her.

"Sherry, were you with Dwight?" She asked incredulously.

She didn't reply as she heard Yolanda get off the couch and walk over to her. "Honey, you know that I have rooted for you two to be an item since day one but I have a bad feeling about you two seeing each other."

Sherry could feel the exhilaration that she had felt before with Dwight start to slip away as Yolanda warned her with her reservations. "Yolie, please." Sherry groaned while practically begging her not to continue.

"I know how much our lives have been a nightmare since being in Sanctuary. I know that you needed someone to make you happy. But Sherry, you are playing with fire. Negan will kill Dwight if he knew what you two just did." Yolanda reasoned.

"We didn't do anything." Sherry lied but could feel her stomach lurch at the thought of something bad happening to Dwight.

"Oh, whatever." Yolanda scoffed. "I was young before. I'm not stupid."

Sherry sat on the stairs as she knew Yolanda was on a roll and was nowhere near finishing her rant. "I never said you were." She muttered under her breath and immediately felt tired. She rubbed her eyes and rested her chin on her hands which were propped up from her knees. Being reprimanded was the last thing Sherry wanted to deal with.

"Sherry, what if Negan finds out?" Yolanda pressed. "If you think your life is terrible now, just think of what will happen if he knew? I am only saying this because I care about you two! You guys should have waited until things got better." Yolanda finished somberly.

"When is that going to be?" Sherry challenged sarcastically as she almost heard her voice revert back to when her mom would take that same tone when she was a teenager. It almost sounded exactly like her conversation with her mom when Sherry's high school boyfriend brought her home three hours after curfew one night. Her mom told Sherry how lucky she was that her dad was working a night shift otherwise there would have been hell to pay if her dad was waiting up for her. Yolanda was taking on the maternal roll as any mother would have but Sherry was fighting back like any daughter.

Yolanda put her hands up in surrender as she walked to the living room but strode back slowly in a new tone. "You are a grown woman, Sherry. But please, sweetie, please tell me why you did this." She pleaded.

"I love Dwight." She said honestly. "And I hate Negan. I wanted to do something that made me happy. I don't want Negan to dictate who I see or take to anymore. I just want my life to be good for one small moment." Sherry explained as she looked to her hands.

"Did you find that happiness that you were looking for?" Yolanda asked kindly as Sherry could hear her sympathy behind her words.

Sherry nodded. "It was perfect in every way." She answered.

Yolanda sighed. "Well, I wouldn't have expected less from Dwight. If he was anything less than a gentleman, I would have beaten him myself." She teased to make light of the situation. It was always like her to put people in their place but to still maintain friendship. "And I hope that Negan doesn't find out about it." Sherry nodded in agreement. "I didn't mean to scold you."

"I know." Sherry replied with appreciation. "I know you are just looking out for me. You always have."

Yolanda smiled. "I wanted to tell you something last night but you were gone. Off topic." She divulged with a faint voice.

"What is it?" Sherry inquired and looked to Yolanda with concern.

Yolanda gave a motion indicating that she wanted Sherry to scoot over. Sherry did so as Yolanda sat beside her on the stair. "I have been trying not to think about my sweet girl. My Jenna." Yolanda said quietly. "I just felt that if I thought about her, it would make me sad. But a couple of nights ago, I allowed myself to think of her. Instead of feeling sorrow, I had a feeling of comfort." Yolanda looked to Sherry confidently. "I think that she's still alive."

Sherry gawked at her with somewhat disbelief. "I wish I knew for sure like you do." She responded.

"I feel like I do know." Yolanda confirmed her gut instinct. "Somehow I feel that all of them are still alive. It's not just a hope. It's a certainty." Yolanda's assurance was contagious as Sherry started feeling the same faith.

"I really hope you're right." Sherry said and gave her a hug. "Thank you for being there for me. All the time."

"Anytime." Yolanda said as she embraced her in return. "Get some rest downstairs. All the girls are still bunked down there. They still don't feel comfortable seeing your room yet." She explained.

Sherry nodded and changed her direction to the basement. She walked down the stairs and saw Ashlyn sleeping on the large sectional couch with Megan on the other part. They heard someone come down the stairs as they started to slowly open their eyes.

"Don't worry, it's just me." Sherry whispered.

"Where did you go last night?" Megan asked dazedly. "We were worried."

"I was at Dwight's." She answered truthfully. She knew she could trust her sisters more than anyone else. She sat at the edge of the couch where Megan was. "I should have told you where I went so you didn't worry. I'm sorry." She then gave a look of worry and nodded to Ashlyn. "How is she doing?"

"She still hasn't said a word since our little funeral that we gave Amanda." Megan notified. "I think she's in shock."

"She just needs some time to heal." Sherry reassured in a quiet voice. "A part of her will never be the same again.

Sherry looked in the direction of Ashlyn and saw her eyes watch both her and Megan. Sherry knew words were pointless and instead walked over to her. Sherry lifted Ashlyn's head slightly as she sat down to have Ashlyn's had rest on her lap. Ashlyn put her pillow on Sherry's legs and then rested her head on top of that. Sherry started stroking Ashlyn's brown hair with her fingers as she had often saw Ashlyn do to Amanda many times before.

Tears started falling on Ashlyn's pillow as she enjoyed the comfort Sherry so easily gave with the small but meaningful gesture. Soon they both started dozing off as Sherry fell asleep sitting up on the couch.

However, the worry that she felt when Yolanda told her the fears of Negan finding out were on the forefront of her mind. She prayed that Negan wouldn't find out. _No one saw you go into Negan's house. Everything will be fine, _she thought to herself. _Everything will be fine._

…

Several days had passed since that night Dwight and Sherry were together. The fence that had separated the mill and Sanctuary had been torn down and the Saviors started fixing the mill to be more durable for any attacks and to be a solid base for lookouts and military storage. It was an older mill that looked to have not been used years before the apocalypse even happened. All that was left of Dwight's duties was to make sure that the outposts that surrounded Sanctuary were all ready to go. He didn't necessarily have to even worry about the outposts while Negan was gone but since his team had finished work on everything early, he decided to keep everyone busy. Mainly, so the Saviors wouldn't have spare time to sneak back into Negan's wives' home again.

Dwight checked all fifteen outposts to make sure they were all cleared. Each outpost was surrounded by a fence and was built on stilts so walkers couldn't get inside. The only way to get into the cabin was by a ladder. He climbed up to the last outpost on his list and checked to see if all the radio connections were there. Each outpost also ran on a small generator. To make the generator run caused walkers to be drawn to it so they only turned it on when necessary.

He saw all parts were there and decided to light a cigarette and stay at the outpost before he headed back to Sanctuary. He had a walkie-talkie just in case anyone needed him but he enjoyed his much needed time alone. Sherry and Dwight didn't dare see each other again for the duration that Negan had been gone. They didn't want to test the waters so they didn't attempt another night of sleeping together. Although it didn't stop Dwight from fantasizing about the next time Negan would be out of Sanctuary again.

He sat there for a small amount of time as he looked out the outpost's window. He could see for miles southbound as he paced the floor. It had nearly been five days since Dwight saw Negan. He only hoped that the Kingdom put up a fight and killed him. The thought of that actually being a reality suddenly vanished when his walkie-talkie sounded.

"Hansen to Dwight." He heard Hansen say.

Dwight begrudgingly picked up the walkie-talkie to his mouth. "This is Dwight." He responded.

"Negan just got back to Sanctuary about an hour ago. He just requested to get a low down from you of any updates that he needs to know while he was gone." Hansen told Dwight.

Dwight dropped his cigarette to the floor and stepped on it with more grit than he had to. In the pit of his stomach, he felt a sense of dread. In that instant, the morning sun went behind a cloud as thunder rolled. It had been stormy for almost the entire duration that Negan was gone. Rain wasn't falling yet but Dwight sensed some bad weather ahead. _Metaphorically for that matter, _Dwight thought to himself as he took a deep breath.

…

When Dwight got to Sanctuary, he parked his truck next to the mill. He started walking towards Negan's house and could see all the men that went with Negan to the Kingdom were finally back and at the bar celebrating. Dwight could tell already that the trip was victorious with their demeanor.

He walked into Negan's house and shut the door behind him. "Negan!" Dwight shouted but there was no answer. He waited a bit longer and called for him one more time. Still no answer.

Dwight left the house and walked around Sanctuary wondering where Negan could have been. He checked the bar with no Negan in sight. The mill was the same story as he decided to check the wives' home just in case. As he made his way over, he passed the court house and saw a couple of Saviors building some kind of fire within a barrel. The sight puzzled Dwight as he saw no purpose in what they were doing but didn't question it. He noticed an oven rack and an old iron sat beside the barrel as thunder clapped loudly above him. He continued to walk in the direction of the girls' house without giving the sight a second thought.

Rain began to come down quietly as he spotted Negan in the girls' yard kneeling over Amanda's grave. Dwight walked slowly towards him as Negan turned around to look at him. Dwight could visibly see tears flowing down Negan's cheeks as he appeared to be in mourning; an image that Dwight didn't expect at all.

"How did this fucking happen?" Negan asked quietly as Dwight approached him.

"She shot herself." Dwight explained. "She used the gun I have the girls so they could defend themselves after some men tried to sneak into the house."

"Can you give me the names of those men?" Negan asked.

Dwight nodded. "The leader was Frank. He was accompanied by Eddie, Howard, Joel, Ray, and Kirk." He stated. "I killed Joel."

Negan smiled slightly at Dwight. "What number is Joel then?"

"Joel would be number sixty-three." Dwight answered as he knew he was referring to how many people he had killed.

"Fucking killing machine." Negan commented as he wiped at his tears forming in his eyes and looked to Amanda's grave. "She was a fucking great girl, that Amanda." He acknowledged. "I'm sad that she fucking took the easy way out of this world." Dwight knew Negan would take zero blame for what happened but knew better than to say anything.

"So Joel and Amanda are dead," Negan started as the rain fell a little more strongly with lightning hitting somewhere close which was soon followed by the deafening thunder. "Fuck! Come on. Let's have the rest of this conversation at my house." He shouted over the rain.

They walked quickly to Negan's house as Dwight noticed the two men by the court house with an iron over their makeshift bonfire that they had successfully lit even with the rain. Dwight was curious what they were doing but turned his attention to finding shelter out of the storm as he followed Negan to his home.

They made it inside and Negan turned on the lights. "Home sweet fucking home! Jesus, it's pouring out there!" He exclaimed. "I was going to ask you. What else happened in Sanctuary while I was gone?" He asked lightly as they headed towards Negan's office. His attitude was nearly cheerful which was a stark difference as to how he acted when he was at Amanda's gravesite. Dwight felt uneasy about Negan's countenance and felt something was off; like Negan was putting up a front.

"The fence is done around the mill." Dwight said as Negan took a seat behind his desk. Negan gestured for Dwight to sit down but Dwight shook his head and continued to stand.

"I saw the fence was done. Even the demolition of the old fence was complete too. I asked you to get started on that and you went fucking above and beyond." Negan said happily as he grabbed for a whiskey bottle and two shot glasses. "I insist." He offered to Dwight while he poured the alcohol in the glasses. "Hansen said you were checking on the outposts as well?"

Dwight nodded. "Those are finished. All the wiring for the radios are ready to go. Now we just need to assign those outposts to people and give them shifts." He suggested as he took one of the shot glasses and drank it.

"How do you propose we do that?" Negan quizzed as he gulped down his shot.

Dwight shrugged. "Two or three people in each outpost at all times. Each will have twelve hour shifts." He recommended as he put the empty glass on Negan's desk. Negan went to pour another glass for him but Dwight shook his head. "I'm fine." He lied. Dwight had the feeling that he should run for the door instead.

Negan poured himself another glass. "Think we have enough manpower to make Sanctuary guarded and have thirty men out each outpost?" He inquired.

Dwight peered at him in question. "You worried about retaliation from the Kingdom?" He asked.

Negan shook his head vehemently. "Oh, no. Of course not. However, it's better to be safe than sorry." He remarked. "Kingdom is not like Hilltop. They are armed and have plenty of their own manpower with a base that is nearly fool proof. However, we have more Saviors and even more guns. We could beat them to the ground if we had to." Negan looked at a piece of paper on his desk and handed it to Dwight. "Tell me what you think of this."

Dwight looked at the piece of paper and saw an amateur drawing of several mines and walkers surrounding Sanctuary. The walkers were buried into the ground and ready to chomp on an unsuspecting bystander. "That would be useful." Dwight replied. "Is it really necessary though? We have outposts scattering around Sanctuary and a mill that you could see miles out from the top. If anyone was coming, we would know."

Negan nodded while taking in what his right hand man suggested. "True. But do you really trust the Saviors with everything?" He asked.

Dwight shook his head. He didn't trust the Saviors and wouldn't even if his life depended on it. He walked over to Negan's bookcase on the opposite wall and pretended to look at the literature. The odd feeling that something wasn't right continued to press down on his intuition and he had a bad feeling about being in Negan's house at that moment.

"Take you for example," Negan started as he drank another shot. Dwight heard him put the glass down on his desk as he walked around it towards Dwight. "You go above and beyond with the fence while I am gone but one of my wives is dead and another one is fucked by you."

Dwight didn't turn around and continued to glare at the bookcase. He closed his eyes and cursed inwardly as he could hear Negan chuckled darkly.

"What? You didn't think I would find out about your fucking sexcapades?" He asked as he walked over to Dwight. "There is always someone watching the girls. Always. And I don't mind if they are trying to be peeping toms just as long as they stick with looking and not touching. But someone spotted Sherry sneaking out of your house one morning while I was away on business."

Dwight couldn't look Negan in the eyes. He didn't feel guilty for what he did; he only felt his hatred grow for Negan as he knew nothing good was going to come from him knowing. Negan put his arm around Dwight's shoulder in a friendly manner. "How was she?" He taunted.

Dwight stared straight at the bookcase and wouldn't let Negan's jeers get to him. He didn't say a word so Negan couldn't add fuel to the fire.

Negan shook his head slightly and walked away to the other side of the room. "What I don't get is that I made it very obvious and unmistakable that she's my wife and no one else gets to touch her." Negan said as he reached for a box that held his cigars. He prepared it as he continued to talk down to Dwight. "I believe I specifically told you on day one that she was going to be mine. Did you somehow forget that tiny fucking detail?" He asked as he raised his voice and put the lit cigar in his mouth. "How can I be more specific than what I already have been?"

"What are you going to do?" Dwight asked while turning around to face him not the least bit intimidated. "You going to kill me?"

Negan laughed. "No. I think I told you something else on day one that I think would make the message loud and clear." He responded. "Do you remember what I fucking told you?"

Dwight thought about his first night in Sanctuary as he was interrogated by Negan with Lucille. The more he thought about it, the more his stomach twisted into knots.

"_If you don't comply with everything I say, it won't be you that deals with the consequences. I will come after her. I know how you feel about her. You wouldn't want her to be dealt with unkindly, would you? No, I won't kill her. But I know of some other things that are deemed unsavory." _Negan said to him that night.

With that, Dwight was about to pounce on Negan until five Saviors burst into the house and straight into Negan's office. Negan was ready to get into a scuffle with Dwight but smiled when the men entered the house. "Just in the nick of time. There was about to be a fucking brawl before you men showed up." Negan addressed the men. "Take him back to his house. Make sure he doesn't leave until later today for our little town meeting."

The men took Dwight by each arm and bound his hands behind his back as he struggled. When his bounds were secure, Negan walked up to Dwight and punched him in the stomach with all of his might. Dwight doubled over in pain and let out a groan that almost sounded like a growl.

"The real fun starts later today." Negan informed. "You should have drunk more whiskey to prepare for it." Negan looked to the Saviors. "When you're done with him, tell Sherry that I have summoned her and that she is to come to my house immediately."

With that, the men ushered Dwight out of the house and towards his own home. Dwight's entire body felt hot to him. He couldn't remember a time when he was angrier with anyone. He couldn't remember a time when he worried about someone else in the near future.

…

Sherry and the girls were hunkered down in the basement as Brittany went around the room painting all of their toe nails. Brittany hummed slightly in a chipper manner as she put all of her concentration on Ashlyn's toes.

Sherry was reading a book on the couch as she glanced up to see Brittany with more absorption on a hobby than she had ever seen her perform. "You seem happier than usual today." She commented.

"Negan came home today." She announced quietly and looked to all the other girls to gauge their thoughts. Brittany had become aware of everyone's feelings towards him as sympathized with them. However, she didn't yet share the fear they felt.

Sherry put her book down not surprised by the news. She only wished to avoid him like she had done in the past. She watched Brittany's jubilant demeanor with a new light since getting to know her better in the last week. "You really like him, don't you?" She asked.

Brittany got red in the face as she applied tiny hearts on Ashlyn's toenails. Ashlyn would occasionally look up from her book with curiosity as that was more focus than they had ever seen Brittany have. "I get it. Negan's rough around the edges but he has treated me better than that one biker gang that I was with before Sanctuary." Brittany revealed.

There was a knock on the door as they heard Yolanda's footsteps walk from the kitchen to the front door. Brittany looked to Ashlyn and then to her toes. "Do you like how they turned out?" She asked nicely. Everyone was doing their best to get Ashlyn's mind off her sister. Even Brittany stepped up to the plate and was amicable to each of them. Sherry admired the change in Brittany's attitude and knew it came from her feeling more included with their tight knit group. She hoped it was a permanent fixture.

Ashlyn got her nose out of her book and glanced at her toes. "Yeah. They are really cute. You would have done well in that cosmetology school." She complimented sweetly.

Brittany took the praise and beamed. The girls fell into chatter about trivial things and would occasionally laugh at what someone would say in obvious joy that they were together for at least one more day.

Yolanda slowly came down the stairs as if she had seen a ghost and looked straight to Sherry with deep regret. The girls all stopped their conversation while the atmosphere changed to a more anxious tone as they watched Yolanda's disposition. Yolanda continued to stare at Sherry. "Negan has requested that you go to his house as soon as possible." She stated almost as if she wanted to cry.

The girls gaze fell from Yolanda and landed on Sherry; each of them bearing a face of uneasiness. The mood of the day took a turn for the worst and they all felt it.

…

Sherry walked to Negan's house and knocked on his door. She waited on his porch for him to answer and wondered about the crowd that was gathering around the court house. It wasn't like anything that she had seen in Sanctuary before. She thought it unusual for people to be standing outside in the rain for no apparent reason.

Just then, Negan opened the door and smiled at her. "You don't have to knock. This is your fucking home too." He reminded and motioned for her to come inside.

Sherry walked in as Negan closed the door behind her. She looked in the living room and saw red wine with glasses on the coffee table. Negan put his hands on Sherry's shoulders as he came up behind her and smelled her hair. "I have missed you while I was gone." He whispered as he moved her hair to the side to kiss the back of her neck.

Sherry slid out of his grasp and walked to the living room to sit down on the couch. He smirked at her discomfort and sat beside her in what she considered to be too close of a proximity as he leg touched hers.

"Did you miss me?" He asked as he poured a glass of wine for her.

"Sure." Sherry retorted as he handed her the glass. She took a small sip as he smiled at her with a sense of giddiness about him.

"Well, that's a surprise." Negan commented as he watched her closely.

Sherry's eyes squinted as she wondered what he was talking about. "What's a surprise?" She inquired without really caring to hear the answer.

"You said before all the time that you never trusted the food that I gave you." Negan observed as a matter-of-factly. There was something that Sherry saw in Negan's eyes but wasn't yet evident in his body language. He looked infuriated with her. _He knows, _Sherry thought to herself.

"You're perceptive." Sherry quipped back but it didn't have the biting tone she wanted it to. Her voice started to shake as did her hand that held the glass. She put it down on the coffee table and clasped her fingers together to get control of herself.

"More than you would think." Negan replied with a smile. "Do you have anything to tell me about what happened while I was gone, honey?" His words came out in a ridiculing way as she started to feel enclosed with how close and overbearing he was being. He placed a possessive grasp on her lower thigh and squeezed more than she felt comfortable as she placed a hand on his wrist.

"What's wrong?" He asked between grinded teeth. "You've got nothing to say?" His hold became tighter as her chin started to quiver. "Fuck, Sherry! I'm giving you a chance to fess up and you can't even give me that?" He lifted his empty wine glass with his other hand and threw it behind her face as it crashed into the wall. She tried not to jump and closed her eyes. "I know about you and Dwight fucking around." He revealed once and for all.

Sherry could immediately feel hot tears form on her face. "Negan," she started.

In one instant, he grabbed her by the neck and laid her down on the couch. He got on top of her as he squeezed tightly around her throat. Sherry tried to call for help but couldn't as air slowly escaped her lungs. She grabbed desperately at his hands and tried to scratch with her nails at his knuckles. He made no indication that it hurt him even though she was scratching hard enough that blood started pouring around her neck. She could feel the red hot liquid on her skin but he didn't slow down. His face flared red and his pupils were dilated. Sherry could almost see Negan as an entirely different person; as if the bad side of him completely took over. He wasn't going to relent anytime soon.

Sherry was starting to see black as she fought to breathe but to no avail. Then suddenly he took his hands off of her as she choked with so much air rushing back into her lungs. He got off of her and went to the front room to retrieve his jacket. "You have twenty minutes to get your ass to the front of the court house. We'll be having a town meeting and I expect to fucking see you there. No exceptions." He ordered and then slammed the front door behind him as thunder could be heard in the distance. Sherry immediately started to bawl as the unknowing started to settle in.

The hope that life would get better started to fall away.


	14. Chapter 14

Chapter 14

The torrential downpour continued as a large crowd had gathered around the court house. Sherry saw her sisters up on the front steps beside Negan as she slowly walked towards them. She kept her face down in shame as she made her way in the crowd as some men threw catcalls at her. She didn't pay them any attention as she dejectedly made her way up the steps where Negan stood.

"The lady of the hour has finally arrived!" Negan exclaimed happily and took Sherry by her arms and kissed her on the lips. When he broke their embrace apart, more tears fell as she looked down to her feet. Negan threateningly took her chin and forced her to look up at him. "All of this will be for your own fucking good. You'll see." He said assuredly as he gestured for her to join the other girls as they stood by the court house with dread on their faces.

Sherry looked to the fire next to the steps that had been made inside a metal barrel. On top of it was a metal fence with an iron over it. Sherry scanned the iron with dread and felt as if she could throw up at that moment.

The crowd made way for some men that were dragging something that Sherry could not yet see. As the crowd in the front stepped aside, Sherry saw the men were dragging a bound and gagged Dwight and threw him to the ground. He grunted loudly in protest and anger as Sherry took a step forward in horror. The Saviors helped him back up in a standing position as blood started trickling down the right side of his forehead. They then led him to the top of the stairs near Sherry as they ungagged him. Dwight looked to Sherry as she stared back at him with wide eyes that were filled with terror. He tried to smile back in comfort to ease her nerves but it couldn't read through for the own worry that he carried for himself.

Negan walked up to Dwight and lightly slapped the left side of his face. Dwight looked like he could kill the man standing in front of him as Sherry saw that same look in Dwight's eyes before Haruki met his demise.

Negan turned around and faced the crowd of bloodthirsty Saviors. He put his hands up as they all cheered. Yolanda made her way through the crowd and walked up to Sherry and held her hand tightly in support. Takuya was the only one not cheering in the crowd as he looked on the spectacle with sadness.

"Everyone listen the fuck up!" Negan yelled. "Listen to what I have to fucking say!" They all cheered again as he addressed them. "We need to go over some ground rules! Sanctuary has a code here! I don't always feel the need to go over the rules but some guidelines were broken while I was gone!" 

He took a step towards his audience and smiled wide. "I need Frank, Eddie, Howard, Ray, and Kirk to fucking step forward!" Negan yelled.

Each of the men that Negan had called started to frown as they knew Dwight ratted them out for sneaking into the women's house. They all made their way to the steps of the courtyard with trepidation except for Frank who fought to get away from the ceremony. The crowd instead tugged him to where Negan wanted him to be with the rest of his group as they all laughed at his pain. He yelled and screamed to be let go but was eventually shoved right in front of Negan. Negan quickly took action and grabbed him by the beard while yanking him to the ground.

Frank yelled in pain as Negan stomped on his face with his heel. The man immediately passed out from the force while Negan looked to the Saviors and cleared his throat to address them again. "We do not rape. These fucking fuck men snuck into my fucking wives' home and intended to do the most unspeakable things to them." Negan pointed to Dwight who breathed heavily with resentment as he eyed Negan. "Luckily, Dwight came to save the day and made sure these fucking thugs didn't lay a hand on those poor women." He said but laughed at the end of his speech. "But as you can see, Dwight isn't without sin so we'll get to him later." All the other Saviors laughed along with Negan.

"It shook these ladies up! My poor Amanda killed herself because these men scared her to death." Negan shouted as the masses shared their dismay with words like, "boo" or "death!" Sherry could sense the crowd's hunger for blood as she could feel the girls around her shake with fear. All of them either had a hand on Sherry or Ashlyn in support. Not one of them had a dry eye as the men continued to shout in a hateful manner.

"What should we do with these men?!" Negan yelled. They continued to yell the word _death _as Negan feigned a moment of pondering while the crowd grew even more impatient. Negan then motioned for a man near the bonfire as the man stepped towards him to produce Lucille. The Saviors applauded uproariously while Negan took the bat and started some practice swings.

Yolanda and Sherry both turned to the other ladies with warning. "Close your eyes and cover your ears!" Yolanda instructed. They did as they were told while Negan swung at Howard's face; his first victim of the day. The man yelled when Sherry looked away no longer able to see more. She continued to hear the sound of heads being beat in while Brittany started screaming at the top of her lungs as if to drown out the horrendous noise completely. For once, Sherry was grateful for the maddening crowd as they helped the noise be less poignant.

Sherry looked to Dwight as Negan progressed with the other men who were in Frank's company that night. Dwight was already gazing at her, his nose flared and his mouth in a tight line. Sherry quickly view the men dying by Lucille and then to Dwight as a sob escaped her. She started to shake her head as a paralyzing thought came to her mind. _No, _she thought. _Negan won't kill Dwight, will he? _Sherry couldn't keep the sobs from coming as the wave of tears started to pour like the rain that fell upon them. She almost knew one of them was going to die on that day.

Negan made one last blow to the final man still alive as his life quickly slipped away. The men cheered as Negan took several bows in front of them with his jeans covered from the knees down in blood and pieces of flesh.

"Alright!" Negan yelled as he put a finger over his lips so the crowd would know to quiet down. "On to the next rule. Sherry! Come get your ass over here." He yelled to her. Sherry could hear her friends start to cry behind her while she took the steps towards Negan.

…

Dwight watched Sherry step forward slowly as she looked to the ground unable to meet Negan's eye line. Negan then grabbed her by the waist and peered to Dwight with a smirk on his face. Negan patted Sherry on the backside and winked in Dwight's direction as he kept his hand there. As if Dwight didn't hate the man already, he vowed to kill him one day. Or he promised to at least haunt him if he ended up dead before nightfall.

"You may know this is one of my beautiful wives." Negan stated with a small sense of pride. "And I fucking love her more than anything else in the world." He said with pride and kissed her check. "But there is one thing that I ask of my wives. I only ask that they love me in return and remain devoted to me and only me." Negan guided Sherry a couple of feet of him and stepped back to where he originally was. "No, but this bitch didn't do as I asked! No! This fucking bitch of a cunt was sleeping around!" He yelled angrily.

Negan scratched his head and started pacing behind her while Sherry faced the crowd with her head bowed. Dwight watched Negan breathe loudly in pants almost in growls that made Dwight on edge. He could only describe it in comparison to tantrum. It was frightening to him because there was no one who could talk Negan out of whatever he thought of doing. Negan had all the control.

Negan stopped his pacing and drew a deep breath to keep his composure. "I haven't thought of a good punishment for this kind of scenario yet." Negan addressed. "I never fucking needed to until now." Dwight's blood ran cold as Negan produced a gun out of holster attached to his belt then checked to see if it was loaded. "Maybe I should just give up on this relationship of ours. Maybe I need to do something goddamn fucking drastic to send a message to my other wives to make sure this shit will never happen again." He took the gun and pointed it to the back of Sherry's head. The girls started to scream Sherry's name as she started to visibly shake.

"Negan!" Dwight yelled with warning in his voice.

It was almost as if Negan didn't hear him and continued to point the gun at Sherry; his eyes showing how enraged he was. He cocked the gun then moved the gun slightly to the right of Sherry's head and fired. The bullet whizzed by Sherry's ear while Sherry's body jolted at the sound. The other girls did the same and started to break down at the thought of losing another friend. He heard Megan yell for Sherry in complete and utter despair.

"Negan!" Dwight boomed again. "This has gone too far! Stop!"

Negan cocked the gun once more and aimed it at Sherry once more.

"GODDAMMIT, NEGAN!" Dwight warned as he saw Negan put his finger on the trigger. Dwight couldn't stand and do nothing anymore. He would rather die than have Sherry be killed for something they had mutually done. With his hands bound behind him, he barreled into Negan before the Saviors behind him could grab him from doing so. Negan fired his gun but the shot missed Sherry from his aim being askew. Negan toppled to the court house main landing as Dwight landed on top of him. Dwight head butted Negan's face as one Savior came to Negan's rescue but Dwight immediately pushed him away full force as he fell down the court house stairs. Negan tried to push Dwight off of him but Dwight came at him like a raging bull. Even with his hands bound, he managed to pin Negan to the ground and wrap one of his legs around Negan's arms and middle. With his other leg, he cornered Negan's head to be wrapped around the back of his knee as he jammed his upper and lower leg together with the intent of choking Negan out.

Negan grabbed at Dwight's legs as he tried to break free from Dwight's overwhelming grasp. Two Saviors tried to pry him off of Negan but their leader was becoming short of breath quickly. More men started coming to their leader's aide and began to relentlessly kick Dwight anywhere vital to let his grip go. Dwight got kicked in the face, the back, and the ribs as he continued to try and asphyxiate Negan. The kicks seemed to be progressively worse the more he held his stance, especially when a Savior kicked him in the exact spot over and over again. With every jarring blow, Dwight would feel something inside of him crack. Dwight almost fell into a daze at the continued forces to his head but he could faintly hear someone call his name.

The noise became more apparent as if it came out of a fog as he saw Sherry behind the men that were hell bent on letting Negan go free. "Dwight!" She yelled as he could see her trying to fight one of the men closest to his face as she climbed on his back and tried to stick her fingers in his eye sockets. The man grabbed at Sherry and threw her over his shoulders in a flip as she fell to the ground on her back. Sherry had the wind knocked out of her as she tried to find her breath again. The man looked disoriented as she successfully did what she wanted with his eyes. One eye looked to be in pretty bad shape as he yelled in pain.

"You bitch!" He screamed and stormed towards her with purpose as Dwight could almost see fire flare out of his nostrils. He watched as Sherry tried to get up quickly and away from him. Negan still tried to get free from Dwight and hadn't passed out yet. The man coming after Sherry picked her up effortlessly and held a gun to her temple.

"Sherry!" Dwight yelled and released his leg hold on Negan. He tried to reach her but was held back by many Saviors and propped up to a standing position. Other Saviors gathered around Negan as he recovered and gasped for air. Once he seemed stable and less blue, he started to chuckle. Tears started falling down his face because of his uncontrollable outburst.

"Leave it to Dwight to be able to beat the fuck out of a man while his hands are tied behind his fucking back!" Negan bellowed between his fits of laughter. He stood up and brushed the dirt off his pants then saw the man that held Sherry at gunpoint. "Sherry! You still have that spunk in you that I adored when I first met you. Glad to see you haven't lost it yet!" Negan said as he grabbed for Sherry and snapped his fingers towards the gun that the man held at her temple. The man instantly gave the gun to Negan as he smiled at the man whom Sherry nearly gauged. Negan then cocked the gun and shot the man without a second thought. "Like I said, gents!" He muttered. "Don't touch my fucking wives!"

The men cheered at another man dead. Dwight tried to break free of the men but the effort was hopeless as the Saviors held onto him and his injuries were very evident. Negan held Sherry close then addressed the crowd once again. "I have finally come up with a punishment for any man who defiles my women!" He proclaimed excitedly.

As if the shouts couldn't get any louder, the Saviors yelled for bloodshed once more. Negan shook his head. "No! No, no, no! They don't get off that easily!" He shouted then guided Sherry over towards Yolanda and the other women. Sherry started kicking and screaming

"No!" She screamed in Negan's face. "Dwight!"

Negan looked around and spotted Takuya in the crowd. "Tak, man!" He yelled as he tried to hold Sherry's arms to her sides so as not to get punched in the face. "Hold her the fuck still! Don't worry, I won't shoot you." Negan commanded.

Takuya walked up quickly and grabbed Sherry. Sherry shook her head in protest. "No!" She cried in anguish. Takuya held her close as they looked to Dwight who was bloodied and bruised and could hardly return the look to them as it made too much effort to lift his head up. But he still tried so he could make sure Sherry was still safe.

Sherry tried to hit Takuya to be let free but Negan put his gun towards the girls as they screamed in horror. "YOU STOP THIS SHIT RIGHT NOW!" He yelled in Sherry's face. "OR I WILL FUCKING SHOOT!" Sherry quit her fight with a sob while her knees buckled underneath her. She wailed as Takuya kneeled beside her and held her as per Negan's instructions but Dwight could see the comforting behind it. Takuya held her tightly but looked to be helpless as he watched Negan walk away.

Negan stepped over to the bonfire with an almost cheerful stride. "Bring that fucking bastard over here!" He yelled to the men holding Dwight. They consented and dragged him over. "On his knees!" Negan instructed. "Hold his arms!"

Dwight could hear and feel a clicking noise from his ribs as pain took over his whole body. Suddenly he knew what the iron over the fire was for as his eyes grew wide with alarm. He tried to fight the men as he indeed put up a struggle for them but was too tired and weak to be hostile. He yelled in turmoil and defeat as Negan put an oven mitt on his hand. Dwight eyed the iron as Negan grabbed it and presented it to the crowd. The mob cheered yet again as Negan placed it back on top of the bonfire to keep it's heat. Dwight watched as steam arose above it from the rain and could already feel his body stand on the verge of shock that soon the iron would taste his own flesh.

"Gentlemen! If you ever touch my wives, your punishment will be worn and seen for the rest of your sorry fucking miserable lives!" Negan stated. "You'll forever bare the mark of an adulterer!" He shouted.

Negan walked a couple steps towards Dwight and bent down so they were nose to nose. "You will never touch Sherry again." Negan warned as his voice got dangerously low. "She is _mine! _ She will always be mine."

Dwight breathed heavily through his mouth as he tried to mentally prepare for the torture. He said nothing in return but once again vowed to himself that Negan would one day die by his own hand. Negan smiled at Dwight's suffering and retrieved the iron once again. Dwight could hear Sherry screaming in the background. Inside, he could feel his heart wrench at the sound but he tried to soak in every detail of that moment only to add more indignation when the time came for his retribution. He tried to remember each man that held his arms and every man that had previously kicked him. Dwight swore that he would remember.

Negan walked closer to him with the iron in hand. Negan grabbed the hair on the back of Dwight's head and held it firmly. "Let this be a lesson to all of you!" Negan announced as the crowd grew silent. He looked to Dwight. "I always win." He said quietly. With that, Dwight spat at Negan's feet then closed his eyes and kept his mouth shut in a tight line as he waited for impact.

Negan firmly placed the iron on the left side of Dwight's face while Dwight could physically feel the layers of skin disintegrate into nothing. Dwight did his best not to yell but couldn't help it as it burned like no other heat he had experienced in his life. He instantly felt his body go into shock as his muscles tensed then shook uncontrollably. The movement only made the iron sway in more areas as his face felt engulfed in flames. He could feel burns from the temple of his forehead to his cheek. His eyelid felt unharmed still but he hoped the pain would soon end.

Dwight could slowly feel himself relax his muscles as he heard the laughter from the crowd and Sherry's cried fall into darkness. His last thought before he slipped into unconsciousness was that he would remember that day. _Negan will suffer for this, _Dwight thought as he felt his body slump to the muddy and cool ground.

…

Sherry saw the men let go of Dwight's passed out body at the same time that Negan took the iron off of his face. Negan appeared puzzled and looked to the two Saviors next to the bonfire for answers.

"I thought his skin would come off all fucked up. Why isn't it doing that?" Negan inquired of the men.

"The rain." One of them explained. "It's cooling off the iron fast."

Negan looked slightly disappointed at the response and stared down at Dwight's unconscious body at his feet. "He'll still have a scar forever, right?" He asked.

They nodded. "Hell yes, sir!" The other Savior said.

Sherry stood still as she saw Dwight's blacked out body splayed on the ground. Takuya eased his grip on Sherry as he also stared on in disbelief. Sherry had a desperate need to know that he was still alive. When she felt Takuya completely let go of her, she took the chance and sprang over to Dwight as fast as she could.

She reached him as all the Saviors around him made way and made sure that they didn't even touch her for fear that Negan would make them pay for it in the same way that Dwight did. He was on his right side as Sherry rolled him over to his back and knelt beside him. She glanced at the burns on the left side of his face and started to rock herself to calm down. "You son of a bitch!" She yelled with fury at Negan. Sherry searched for breath but then saw Dwight's chest move up and down steadily. "Oh, Dwight. I'm so sorry!" She cried as she tried to wipe the rain away from the right side of his face. She didn't dare touch the other side. She felt an incredible guilt as the responsibility of his pain landed directly on her shoulders. She would bear the scars as much as he did for the rest of her life. "I'm so sorry, Dwight." Sherry continued to weep.

The mob surprisingly looked on and stood in reverence as she kneeled beside Dwight. Satisfied, that he continued to breathe, she cried with relief as he put her hands to her face. She continued to cry while Negan watched her with a hurt look on his face. He could visibly see the way that she cared for Dwight. And not for him. And it made him angry.

"Yolanda!" Negan ordered. Yolanda let go of the girls' hands reluctantly and walked timidly towards him. "Send Sherry to my house," Sherry heard him say. The rest he said quietly so only Yolanda could hear. Sherry took Dwight's hand carefully in hers as she silently refused to leave his side but she watched as Yolanda's face sunk as she shook her head.

"Sir! I can't!" Yolanda begged. "Please don't make me do this!"

"Sherry! Follow Yolanda to my house and do the instructions that I told her to give or she fucking dies!" Negan shouted towards Sherry. His demand almost sounded more animal-like and beastly than it did human.

Sherry looked down to Dwight once more as he showed no signs of waking up. "What are you going to do to him?" She asked protectively.

Negan forcefully picked Sherry up by the shoulders and shook her violently. "IT DOESN'T MATTER WHAT I DO TO HIM! HE ISN'T YOUR FUCKING HUSBAND!" He yelled in her face. "I AM!"

Sherry gawked at him with wide and tearful eyes. "I hate you." She said quietly and grabbed for Yolanda's hand as they both walked away. Sherry didn't dare look back at Dwight for fear that another member for her group would die at Negan's hand.

"Sherry!" Yolanda stressed as she tried to speak without emotion getting the better of her. "I can't do what he's asked me to do."

"If you don't, he'll kill you." Sherry reasoned with her voice shaking from the sorrow. "I can't have that happen. No one else can suffer because of me."

"It's not your fault, Sherry." Yolanda said with a pained voice. "Everything that happened today. It's not your fault!"

Sherry winced as she replayed the iron landing on Dwight's face. "It is." She said. "So many people would still be alive if only I just listened to Negan." She cried.

"Sherry, no!" Yolanda sobbed as they walked through the white picket fence in Negan's front yard. "You don't know what he has asked me to do."

Sherry looked up at the house and then glanced at Yolanda sadly. "I can only imagine." She said softly and walked closer to the house. She turned around towards Yolanda who hadn't moved from her spot. "He's a man of his word. He killed Hannah and I won't take chances anymore. If he says he'll kill you, he will."

Yolanda put one hand to her face and cried. "I will never forgive myself." She wailed.

Sherry stood in between the steps and Yolanda as she watched her cry. "Tell me what he asked you to do and I'll do it myself." She offered and walked closer to Yolanda to hear what her fate was.

Yolanda stared at the ground and shuddered while shaking her head in protest. "Please," Sherry pressed. "Please, Yolanda." Then Yolanda whispered what Negan had instructed into Sherry's ear as Sherry immediately felt tears fall down on her face as a new wave of emotion set in. "Okay." She said while her voice broke. "Go back to your house, Yolanda. I can do it myself." She assured but the tears continued to fall. It was as if someone threw a brick at her stomach yet she walked to Negan's house regardless of the outcome. Whatever kind of person she was stepping into Negan's home would be someone else stepping out. Even as she crossed the threshold she almost felt a chill settle in as she shut the door behind her leaving Yolanda alone in Negan's front yard. When the door was completely shut, Sherry leaned against it and cried in her hands at what happened to Dwight and what was going to happen to her. She didn't care how loud she cried or how long the tears flowed. They seemed never ending as she tried to find the strength to walk up the stairs and do what Negan requested. So she stayed there until she gathered more courage. But with each passing second, the bravery she sought only turned into misery.

…

Yolanda could hear Sherry's cries on the other side of the door as she also bawled for her young friend. She fell to her knees as the rain fell on top of her without restraint. Yolanda turned around to see the crowd disperse into their homes from the rain as she saw Takuya and Carson carry Dwight's body to Sanctuary's makeshift infirmary. Negan looked on the men carrying Dwight as the bonfire behind him started to extinguish. He held Lucille with one hand as he continued to watch the men walk further and further away. Yolanda cried as she could she the devil clear as day. And he took the form of no other than Negan.


	15. Chapter 15

**DISCLAIMER: Trigger warning.**

Chapter 15

Dwight had trouble opening his eyes as they both felt swollen and ached as if he had kept them opened for hours on end. He left eye hurt too much to move as it seemed to aggravate the rest of his head the stung like a thousand wasps attacked him at once. Slowly but surely, he finally worked up the nerve and strength to open his eyes. He didn't know what he would see when his vision cleared from its current blur. He saw that he was in Sanctuary's small hospital. He was on a twin size mattress in an average sized room, his body propped up on several pillows. He looked out the window and saw that night had come and that the rain had finally ceased. There was a lantern on a nightstand beside him as he could feel the cold air touch his body. He carefully looked down and saw that he didn't have a shirt on. There was a lamp on the nightstand that helped him see how badly bruised he had been from earlier that day. He viewed the room and saw Takuya sitting on a chair next to the mattress sound asleep while sitting up.

A sudden alarm went off in Dwight's head as he thought of Sherry. _Where is she?_

"Sherry!" He moaned and tried to sit up. His body lurched in immediate pain as he did so and he had to lay back from the excruciation on his entire body. The injuries caused his eyes to water as a tear fell directly on his burn which sent his body back to tensing up as Dwight couldn't tell what was more painful.

He groaned and hit the mattress as hard as he could but that also made his wounds come alive with more bite than before. Dwight was fully awake and was well aware of how every inch of himself felt miserable.

Takuya woke up from the noise with a worried look on his face. He jumped out of his tired state to stare directly at Dwight and then put a finger over his mouth to tell Dwight to be quiet. Dwight looked at him with puzzlement from his reaction as Takuya leaned closer to him from his chair.

"They said once you woke up, they were going to take you to Negan's house." Takuya whispered with caution.

Dwight opened his mouth to say something but the movement made his face burn so he fell silent.

"She's still alive." Takuya whispered. "All I know is that she is at Negan's house right now." Takuya looked at Dwight's body and changed the subject. "You have four broken ribs and your right shoulder is fractured. You also have second to third degree burns on your face. The doctor said you were lucky that it was raining. It could have made it much worse if there wasn't water to steam it off. There are stitches on your lip and staples on your forehead."

"I feel like shit." Dwight muttered quietly.

"You look like shit." Takuya agreed with a small smile but there was still something that concerned him that he didn't say yet. Almost as if he didn't have the heart to tell Dwight something important.

They sat quietly in their own thoughts. Dwight couldn't think of anything to make himself feel better. There was nothing. There was absolutely nothing to hold on hope to. Time after time, Negan found a way to take away anything that they wanted in life where there was only Negan. He knew how to play to their weaknesses which became each other. Since Dwight met his group, he knew he would have done anything for them. Negan knew that and took advantage of the group's fierce support. It caused Dwight to have a forced loyalty to the one person that he hated more than anyone else in the world.

He hoped that one day there would be a chance to make Negan pay for what he had done to Dwight's life. Before Negan, Dwight would have thought more than twice about killing a person and would have never gone through with it. At present day, Dwight killed people as if it were a mindless chore. It almost became natural for him to end someone else's life. The one good thing that became of Dwight's callousness for human souls was the fact that he could easily think of every detail of Negan's death and savor in the thought. It was the only positive thing he could think of in that moment so he reveled in it.

Takuya piped up. "I never thanked you."

"For what?" Dwight said quietly.

"For taking care of Haruki," he started solemnly. "He was my best friend for a very long time. I don't think I could have stood to see him anymore in Sanctuary had you not killed him. He wasn't cut out for this new world. He would have died early on if it weren't for Sherry or you." He stopped and pondered his next thought. "But I guess one best friend replaced the other. So that's a bright side."

Dwight was about to respond until they both heard men talking outside of the room and then heard Negan's distinct voice muttering something to them. Negan usually had a typical sense of cheerfulness about his disposition but Dwight could hear the cynicism from where he laid in the other room.

The door soon burst open as Negan took a step inside the room and quickly pointed to Takuya. "You can leave now. We're going to take your buddy on a trip." He ordered darkly. Dwight watched Negan carefully and could see that his demeanor had changed slightly from his tirade earlier in the day. Instead of acting like a crazed maniac, Negan seemed more devious with his decisions being more thought out. Dwight was unsure of which one scared him the most.

Takuya hesitated as he headed towards the door and glanced over his shoulder at Dwight. "I'm not sure he can move." Takuya argued bravely on Dwight's behalf.

Negan shrugged indifference. "Not your concern. Get the fuck out." He said with his voice raising slightly. Takuya looked past him at Dwight again as Dwight nodded slightly to let him know that he would be okay. With that, Takuya left as Dwight heard the men in the hallway call Takuya racial slurs.

Negan smiled down at Dwight condescendingly and treaded over to the mattress with a domineering stance. Quickly, he raised his foot to rest squarely on Dwight's ribs and settled his weight on his chest. Dwight took a sharp breath as pain overcame his entire body and made the mistake of tensing every muscle from the force.

"I think that I am halfway convinced that you will never touch Sherry again." He hissed and pressed his heel into Dwight's broken ribs even more. "Only halfway."

He took his heel off of Dwight then sat on the chair next to the mattress. Dwight took a breath of relief that his ribs didn't feel like they were going to collapse completely on his lungs but the alleviation was short lived when he followed what Negan was saying. "I promised you that I would harm Sherry if you fucked up. And son, you went and fucked up real good. So now I have to follow through and hurt someone that I care about. How do you think that fucking makes me feel?" He asked sounding convincingly conflicted.

"Go fuck yourself." Dwight managed to mumble.

Negan only stood up in reaction to Dwight's retort and walked out of the room. Dwight could faintly hear him speaking to some men in the hallways. A couple of minutes passed and Negan returned with two Saviors.

"Get him up." Negan instructed by the doorway. "We're going for a walk."

…

Dwight woke up in Negan's house in the front room. He remembered blacking out sometime after they first lifted him up to get a shirt on and then again when they moved him outside of the hospital. Even having help standing up, it was still too much for Dwight to handle. Somewhat awake in Negan's house, he checked his surroundings and noticed he was sitting upright on a chair with two Saviors standing next to him. His hands were bound behind the chair and his feet were tied to the legs of his seat as well. With a gag over his mouth, he quickly learned that breathing through his nose was the only option.

Then he saw Negan approaching him from the living room. He smiled darkly as he leaned next to Dwight to be eye to eye. "I told you that I always win." Negan jeered. "I wanted you here for a reason. I want to guarantee that this will never happen again. You and Sherry are fucking history."

Negan then stood up and walked towards the stairs. He paused for a moment then looked back at Dwight. "It didn't have to fucking be this way, Dwight." He stated. "You brought it upon yourself." With that, he walked upstairs and disappeared from sight.

Dwight felt a stab of bitterness as he remembered what Takuya said earlier. Sherry was in Negan's house as well. Things started to click together in Dwight's mind as he connected Negan's plans. The thought almost seemed too cruel even for Negan. Dwight just held his breath and hoped that his hunch was wrong.

…

Sherry heard the bedroom door open as she shut her eyes closed. She heard Negan whistle as he closed the door behind him. "Fuck, you are a sight for sore eyes." He mused.

The tears came and fell to the floor. It was with much difficulty that she brought herself to the room to prevent Yolanda from dying. Yolanda refused to do what Negan had asked her to do. Sherry had to force herself to do it on her own and mentally prepared herself for the worst. She kneeled unclothed and handcuffed to the foot board of the bed. Knees on the floor, she faced the bed and placed her forehead on the cold steel of the bar. She continued to cry without even trying to console herself.

Sherry heard Negan speak even further. "You are to by my wife from this moment on with every fucking aspect. I will kill every one of your friends if you don't comply." He threatened. "So what's it going to be? Are your friends going to die tonight?" He asked her as he put a hand on her shoulder. Sherry jumped at the touch and shook her head as a sob left her throat. She kept her eyes closed and said a silent prayer for strength and hope.

He clapped his hands together at her response which again made Sherry jerk from the loud noise. "Alright, you consented. Let's fucking do this." He said enthusiastically. She could hear Negan immediately take his clothes off behind her as she started to hyperventilate and weep at the same time. Any small ounce of hope that she had left was slipping away and fast.

Negan knelt behind her and left no room between them. Sherry was frozen petrified at the man who had the ability to hold her forcibly yet emit false compassion at the same time. He kissed her bare shoulder to calm her down but it only made her stiffen all the more. The claustrophobic feeling of no escape was overwhelming as his hands wandered everywhere that she didn't want him to touch. She opened her eyes and took a deep breath as she tried to brace for one of the worst experiences in her life.

And then it happened. Sherry couldn't help but feel utterly forsaken as Negan did the unthinkable. It was in that moment that hope for a better life was extinguished. Sherry felt nothing but sorrow. She held no joy. There was nothing and she cried for herself knowing the person that she was only a day before was completely gone. The person who she was before the apocalypse was another person altogether. Sherry envied the person she was a year ago. Her life was forever changed from the events of the last twenty-four hours.

Sherry was feeling betrayed by her own body as Negan continued to force his way inside of her. At first she willed herself to stay silent and not give him the satisfaction. But the longer he stayed, the more she started to pant from the trauma mixed with pleasure. She hated herself more that Negan could exude both feelings within her at the same time. It made her sob at how heartbroken she was.

Negan had won. And Negan broke her.

…

Dwight could hear everything from downstairs. He did his best to fight his way up the stairs but the two Saviors that stood next to him held him down to his chair. He still fought and attempted to pull at the bounds but they dug into his sore body. It didn't stop him from fighting. He could hear Sherry crying upstairs as Negan gave her the punishment that he deemed appropriate for being with Dwight. Dwight couldn't help but feel incredibly guilty as he wished that he could go back on the day that he was with Sherry and told her then that it wasn't safe for them to be together. He wished that one of the best memories that he ever had had never happened. Only so Sherry wouldn't experience the heart break she felt days later.

Dwight wanted to feel anger the most while he sat there in the front room so he could have more motivation to kill Negan later. But the feeling of mourning started to set in as he started to cry. There was only a handful of times that he had cried of which he could remember. He cried when his parents died in his senior year of high school. He cried when his brother died soon after the world fell to pieces. As he sat in the chair, miserable on his own behalf, he cried for Sherry.

…

Negan moaned one last time as Sherry was beyond the tears. She felt violated in every way possible as Negan pulled out of her. Negan quickly reached for his jean pocket and found the keys to the handcuffs. He quickly inserted the key into the cuffs and let her free as she fell to the floor unable to hold herself up from the complete shock she had felt.

"I'm sorry." She heard Negan say with sincerity. She didn't know whether to take offense when he actually sounded apologetic. "I'm sorry." He repeated in a hushed whisper as he then hurriedly got his clothes on. Sherry refused to look at him but stared at the floor beneath her. She laid here feeling exhausted in every way possible. When Negan left the room, she wished that she could drop dead in that very instant.

Sherry felt her stomach lurch and she immediately sensed that she was going to puke. She got up from the floor and ran to the master bathroom and vomited in the toilet. At one point during the horrific encounter, Negan forced his tongue down her throat as she felt repulsed by the recent memory. She still felt as if she could taste him. Every part of her body smelled like him and it made her want to kill herself.

When she felt she could stand up without puking, she walked back into the bedroom and put her clothes on. As she slowly finished by putting her jeans on, she could hear Negan talking downstairs to someone and could feel even more hatred for the man. He was talking normally as if what had just transpired didn't even occur. He wasn't sorry for what he did and he probably wouldn't remember that night the way that she did which made her angry.

On the impulse of the moment, she turned around, walked into the bathroom, shut the door, and locked it. She sat in fetal position on the floor and waited for a couple of minutes until she heard Negan coming up the stairs and walking into the bedroom. Seconds later, she heard the bathroom doorknob jiggle and twist but to no avail. She heard Negan groan with impatience on the other side of the door as her heart raced from the sound of his voice.

"Sherry, honey." Negan nearly reprimanded. "Come on, Sherry, don't do this."

"I'm not coming out." Sherry said stubbornly but was surprised by her voice. It was fearful and shaky. It didn't sound like her at all.

Negan was silent for several seconds as Sherry wondered how much longer she had in the bathroom. "Sherry, please? What needs to happen for you to open that door?" Negan asked with almost understanding in his tone. Sherry tried to shake it off as it almost felt like a slap in the face that he was appearing kind to her. He didn't deserve her trust and it was too late to receive it.

"I want to see him." She said quietly but so Negan could hear.

She heard him exhale loudly and angrily. "You aren't allowed to see or talk to him anymore. That request is impossible." He objected in as patient of a voice that he could.

"I want to see him!" Sherry repeated with desperation. She had to know that Dwight was okay. She did what he asked her to do so Yolanda was safe but she needed to know that Dwight was still alive and well.

Negan hit the door as she jumped at the sudden noise. "Sherry, if I say you can talk to him one more time will you come out? One more time and that's it. Get some closure or whatever the fuck you need and then you are done with him. Will you open the fucking door then?" He asked nicely as his patience was quickly recovered.

She breathed out slowly and closed her eyes. "Yes." She answered.

"And I mean it." He said with a little more authority. "You know what the consequences are if you see him after this. Do I need to burn the other side of his face too?"

"No." She responded as she stood up from her spot on the bathroom floor. Her voice sounded so robotic to her and void of any emotion. She opened the door as Negan gave her a small smile. It was the first time that she looked at him since she saw him at the ironing ceremony. More tears emerged as he gestured his hand at the bedroom door to guide her to the infirmary. Sherry felt like she could puke again.

…

October 2011

_Kevin's hands shook as he put his pen down. He didn't know where the story was going to lead him. He knew no one was exempt of tragic stories in the new world. Everyone had a story to share that would make the manliest man cry for weeks. The story that Sherry relayed to him took the crown. He knew what made the story all the more upsetting was that she was still within the Sanctuary walls. And so was Dwight. Kevin thought of his odds of leaving which made him all the more depressed. Negan had control of two other communities and the number of Saviors had only increased._

_Sherry recounted the last part of her story without shedding a tear. That was the incident that she had referred to. That and the torture that befell Dwight had haunted her and left her feeling abandoned by all humanity. Kevin felt that her anguish that she suffered through in the last couple of months had been justified._

"_Does Negan still force sexual intercourse with you?" Kevin asked timidly._

_She nodded slowly. "He says it's not rape because I agreed." Sherry reasoned for Negan._

"_You only agreed because he threatened your friends." He reiterated quickly. He didn't want her to confuse the fact that what he did wasn't consensual at all. He took advantage of her like any other sexual predator would have done._

_Sherry sat quietly on the couch as Kevin observed her. He continued, "You carry a heavy weight on behalf of your friends." Kevin lightly praised. "What we need to fix is changing your mentality to believe that none of what happened was your fault. Absolutely nothing. Negan has told you that each punishment that you or your friends received was something you needed to take the blame for. To think that way is another victory for Negan. He cannot win every battle."_

"_He already has." Sherry said dejectedly._

_Kevin shook his head. "No. You're still alive and you're still breathing. There is still a chance that Sanctuary will one day be far behind you." Kevin urged._

"_Please don't say that." Sherry grimaced. "For a year I have given myself that same bullshit and kept on telling myself that life will be better around the corner. It's not!"_

"_Sherry," Kevin started. "Do you want him to win everything?"_

_Sherry stood up for the first time since the entire session. She walked next to the window and looked around Sanctuary. "Where there isn't a battle, no one dies. If I don't fight, then I don't have to worry about more bloodshed being on my hands. Everyone is safer this way." Sherry reasoned with finality._

"_Benjamin Franklin said something on the lines that a person shouldn't give up freedom for security." Kevin said to her to make her understand that she didn't have to put her people above her needs all the time. Perhaps Negan made her feel like she had to sacrifice her happiness for their benefit. He couldn't even see a way around Negan's plan to isolate her from the goodness that their world still had left. It seemed like too much even for him._

_Sherry rolled her eyes at his statement of Benjamin Franklin and looked down. "I know." She said._

_They both heard a knock on the door and turned to face it. A short woman with black hair looked to Sherry and smiled kindly. "Negan would like to have you for dinner tonight." The woman announced quietly. Kevin presumed that the woman was Yolanda whom Sherry spoke about._

_Sherry rolled her eyes. "Okay." She grumbled. Yolanda looked somewhat taken aback from Sherry's response and looked to Kevin with a knowing smile. He could tell Yolanda sensed Sherry's former spunk was returning. Sherry already made a huge improvement from when Kevin first met her only several hours before._

"_Would you like to meet again tomorrow?" Kevin asked Sherry as she started walking out of Kevin's makeshift office._

_Sherry began to say something but Yolanda interrupted. "She would love to." She said for Sherry and smiled towards Kevin. With that, Sherry and Yolanda left the room as Kevin jotted down some final notes. He was part of the house that they had used for a hospital. Several people had already requested his services and knew that if Sherry had a story to give him then many others would also have similar hoops to jump through with Negan's relentless tirade._

_For several hours, he researched through the surprisingly extensive collection of books that he had at his disposal and found some exercises that he thought Sherry would respond well to throughout their recovery process. During his studying, he heard someone knock on the door. He looked up towards the door and took his reading glasses off. "Come in." He said kindly._

_The man named Dwight opened the door and walked in. Dwight was the leader in the small group of Saviors that had brought Kevin and the members of his group to Sanctuary. When he viewed Dwight at first, he saw him as calloused and without a conscience. Kevin was taken back to the memory of just a couple of days before when he was taken to the court house to be quizzed about his life upon arriving inside the walls._

"You!" A man named Seth asked him in a small room. Kevin could see the blood stains that covered every inch of the space and knew to say what the Saviors wanted him to say. "What did you do before all of this shit happened?" Seth inquired. "Were you a doctor?"

Other men including Dwight were in the room. Dwight leaned on the wall next to the door with a crossbow in hand and an assault rifle strapped to his back. The men would often converse with each other and joke about what they were doing to his group but Dwight kept to himself and only barked orders to them when needed. He was relatively a quiet man from what Kevin could perceive. Kevin couldn't read what was going on in the man's head but he hoped that he would one day be able to leave Sanctuary in one piece.

"I – uh – I was a psychiatrist before all of this. I usually dealt with patients who were in domestic abuse relationships." Kevin answered earnestly.

Dwight raised his head towards Kevin with his full attention as the men sighed with frustration. "Not that we were expecting you to be a vet but we fucking want people with more combat skills." Seth grumbled.

"I have accumulated knowledge in combat after the virus began." Kevin said simply. "I had to learn in order to survive and help protect my group and myself."

Dwight straightened up and opened the door. He snapped his fingers and point his finger to the door. "Out!" He commanded the men in the room.

Seth laughed at him slightly. "No, I still want more answers from this guy." Seth responded as he produced a gun and held it for Kevin to behold. Kevin's eyes widened as he looked to Seth with uncertainty.

Dwight grabbed Seth by the shoulders and effortlessly pushed him out of the room. The other men did as they were told on their own accord as they didn't want to be pushed around by Dwight. Dwight then shut the door behind the last man and looked to Kevin. Kevin felt worried for himself as he gulped and eyed Dwight's crossbow.

Dwight followed Kevin's gaze and stared down at the crossbow as well then propped it up against the wall. Once he did so, he put his hands up in the air to show that he meant no harm. "We have an infirmary in Sanctuary. I would like you to make yourself useful there." Dwight informed. "We would like you to set up a clinic based on your area of expertise."

Kevin looked at Dwight suspiciously. Dwight stared back at him while waiting for a response. Kevin couldn't help but notice the massive burned scar that the man had on his left face. It looked to have still been healing slightly and every so often Dwight would put his hand to it as if it irritated him or itched.

"Why?" Kevin asked. "I know a lot are suffering and need the help but I feel that this place would have it be the least of your concern."

"Some might think it's pointless but others really need it." Dwight said simply.

"Do _you _need help?" Kevin asked.

Dwight chuckled darkly. "No, I'm too far gone." He said but then turned back to the seriousness that he had before. "The leader here has a wife that has been through some bad shit. Maybe you could help her out."

Kevin looked at him skeptically. "You seem to care about this man's wife a lot to request something like this for her." Kevin observed.

Dwight seemed unfazed by Kevin's response. "I don't. I am just asking on behalf of the leader." He replied.

Kevin wasn't convinced by his answer but chose not to voice his opinion. "Alright. I will talk to her and everyone who needs me. You included." Kevin answered.

"Oh, I'm sure you'll hear all about me from others that you won't need to talk to me personally." Dwight muttered as he picked up his crossbow again. "We'll fix up a house for you and your group. You'll start as soon as possible." Dwight said and walked out of the room leaving Kevin there all by himself.

_Kevin saw an entirely different person when he knew the full story. Dwight wasn't calloused but instead was a man that did what he needed to do to protect the people that he cared about._

_Dwight sat on the couch opposite of Kevin. "Negan wants to know how the progress went." He said evenly._

"_Of course." Kevin replied sardonically. "But from what Sherry has told me, I'm not entirely sure that Negan really wants to hear what I have to say."_

_Dwight looked down and took a deep breath as he put his elbows on his knees and twiddled his thumbs feigning disinterest. "What did she say?" He asked._

"_I can't say much due to confidentiality but she does have a strong dislike for Negan." Kevin divulged. "Does Negan really care what goes on in these session or is it just your concern?"_

_Dwight continued to stare down at his hands as he grinded his teeth together. "I don't need to know what goes on in here." He stated almost in a growl._

_Kevin could see the conflicted feelings boiling inside the young man. "She told me all about your past relationship. You can speak honestly in here, Dwight. I will be discreet." Kevin encouraged._

_Dwight stiffened as he continued his façade. "No. I don't need to talk about it." He muttered. With that, he stood up from the couch and started to head towards the door._

_Kevin spoke up. "Were you and Sherry able to talk to each other after he burned your face?" He asked with near trepidation. He wasn't sure how Dwight would react at such a bold question._

_Dwight stopped suddenly with his hand on the doorknob. Kevin watched as Dwight looked up at the door lost in thought. Then he turned around slightly to look at Kevin. In that moment, Kevin could visualize the kind person that Sherry spoke of. Dwight looked genuinely sad while he nodded his head in a quiet answer. Then just like that, his attitude reverted back to being one of Negan's soldiers as he walked out the door._

**AUTHOR'S NOTE – I don't take rape scenes in books lightly. I want to clarify that when putting these books together that I tried to be as careful as possible on the subject. I empathize with Sherry and men &amp; women like her and it has given me some healing in my own situation.**

**AUTHOR'S TRIVIA, NOTES, &amp; FACTS –**

**#1 – The quote by Benjamin Franklin was previously used early on in the first book by Sherry herself as reasoning to leave Sanctuary.**

**#2 – Negan is not a rapist in the comics. However, I changed it slightly only because I feel we live in a world where people think of rape too lightly. What Negan perceives as rape may be too black and white…and we know there is a lot of gray that comes with that subject matter. I don't really consider him to be the expert of knowing where that line of consent is. Therefore, he could be think he's vehemently against it but really, he's just as bad as others who commit the crime.**


	16. Chapter 16

Chapter 16 – The Final Chapter in Nothing Else Matters

Negan took her to the infirmary where he said Dwight was. They walked in silence the whole entire way. Negan even kept his distance for the duration. In his own way, Sherry knew he felt guilty for what he did but chose not to voice it. He didn't even try and hold her hand like he typically would have done to any of his wives when walking down the streets of Sanctuary.

Sherry walked slowly. She didn't want Dwight to know what had just happened only to keep him ignorant of the abuse that she received. She didn't wish to cause him more pain than he had already endured. The thought of him knowing made her want to shrivel up into nothingness. Somehow, it would have ended up being her fault. She didn't understand why she took up so much blame for what happened to everyone else but it was there and ever present.

Once they made it to the small hospital, Negan guided her into a hallway where he stopped at the last door. Negan knocked on the door once but didn't expect an answer and opened it anyways. Negan let Sherry walk in the room first as she did so. There she saw Dwight laying on a mattress in the corner of the room and instantly folded her arms as she felt the wave of nausea hit her again. Dwight lifted his head and stared back at her with surprise then looked toward Negan warily while he did his best to sit up on his own. Negan stayed at the door and didn't make a move that he was going to join them.

"You have five minutes." Negan said. "Say your goodbyes and be done with each other so we can all move on with our fucking lives." He then slammed the door shut and left the two of them alone trusting that Dwight's wounds would prevent them from doing anything worth punishing.

Sherry stood in her place as the thought of moving closer to Dwight didn't even cross her mind for fear that Negan would hurt either of them because of it. She wanted to see that he was alive but it felt wrong to be in the same room as Dwight. She knew that was what Negan wanted her to feel and resented the fact that he ruled her almost effortlessly.

Dwight was battered all over his body from the parts she could see. No shirt on, his chest seemed to look entirely purple from the beating he had at the ironing ceremony. His face was partially bandaged but not done with too much care as the resident doctor didn't really seem to care about his patient. Sherry did all of it and she hurt him beyond measure.

Dwight just stared at her as he could feel the whole in his heart grow. Sherry wasn't the same person he knew. Beyond her control, she became fragile and broken and it tore at Dwight to know he took part in her fall. If he only followed orders, she would have been the same strong woman that she was a couple of days ago. He choked back tears and looked at Sherry with remorse. "Sher," Dwight started. "I'm so sorry."

"For what?" Sherry asked with an almost brave voice but it faded quickly away and didn't match her body language.

Dwight looked down as some tears dripped down his cheek and stung at his burns. He didn't even care and let himself feel the pain that he felt didn't come close to the torment Sherry had inside of her. He debated whether he should let Sherry know that he was at Negan's house when it happened but couldn't keep it from her as she deserved to know that Negan had also violated her privacy upon the situation. "For what just happened to you." Dwight said while his voice cracked.

Sherry's body shook as realization dawned on her. Dwight knew more than she wanted him to and he watched her chin quiver as she replayed the moment in her head. Neither one of them made a move to embrace or comfort each other.

"I'm so sorry, Dwight." Sherry said just above a whisper. "It wasn't your fault. I – I shouldn't have gone into your house in the first place. At the time I just needed you but I was being so selfish. And I'm so sorry, Dwight." She repeated with her emotion rising.

Dwight shook his head nearly pleaded for her to not wear any guilt for what had just happened. "You weren't being selfish. I need you just as much as you needed me." He confessed and looked to her as his own tears fell. "I love you too." He uttered in reply to when she said it to him days ago.

Sherry looked up to the ceiling as more tears started pouring down her face. She didn't know that a person could produce as many tears as she did that day. The words that he said should have lifted her off her feet. Instead it only added to the heartache and recognition that she could never be with him. She knew that they could love each other all they wanted from a distance but they could never do anything about it.

They stood there in the darkness frozen in time. So much was said in the silence yet nothing had to be said at all. What could they say? They could only cry together in the room.

"One day…" Dwight started.

Sherry started to shake her head as she immediately felt Negan could punish them just for thinking about a better day. "No." She pleaded.

"Sherry…" Dwight tried to reason.

Sherry started to sob as she looked at him with fear in her eyes. "No!" She cried. "There's never going to be a one day, Dwight!"

"You can't think like that." Dwight protested.

"I don't have a choice!" Sherry cried as she started to pant for breath. "Someone has gotten hurt every time I so much as entertain the thought. Everyone will be better off if I just stay where I am."

"Goddammit," Dwight muttered to himself and looked to Sherry in disbelief. "This can't be all there is for us."

Sherry wiped at her tear stained cheeks and tried to breathe through a panic attack. "And if it is?" She finally asked.

Dwight put a hand to his mouth as if trying to hold himself together. He always thought that dying of a broken heart was an over exaggeration but with how the rest of his body felt combined with the hurt he felt for Sherry, he almost felt as if his heart could have stopped right then and there. He sensed Sherry too experienced the same ache as she started to cry again and hold her chest. Dwight could have killed Negan for a number of things that he had done to the group but the one that irked Dwight more than anything was that he touched and violated Sherry. He felt sick thinking about it and saw the hurt behind Sherry's eyes. It made him sick to his stomach.

The door opened and Negan motioned to Sherry without so much as glancing in Dwight's general direction. "Time's up, honey." He reported. Dwight loathed the nickname that he had given her. Sherry turned to Negan and wiped at her eyes once more. She peered to Dwight again then started walking towards the door.

Dwight tried to stand up without even thinking about repercussions. "Sher…" He stammered but all the motions made the room spin as he quickly ran out of energy.

"No." Negan said to him while Sherry tried to look back at him but was blocked by Negan. He put a protective arm on Sherry's shoulder and glared at Dwight with warning. "You're done."

Dwight sat back down slowly and with great difficulty as he watched them disappear from the room. Dwight had lost her. And he couldn't think of a way to get her back. In that moment, he hoped a miracle would come for them. Whether it be months or years later, he hoped that the day would come when Negan no longer ruled them. He wanted to finally awake from the nightmare.

…

Eighteen Months Later

…

A man overlooked Sanctuary in the darkness with distaste and anger. The Saviors had attacked them many times but taking his son took it too far. There would be hell to pay for everything that they had done to their community of Alexandria. The man couldn't believe the arrogance of the Saviors to think they could take over his community like they did with Hilltop and Kingdom. He already did so much to protect his family that he wasn't about to let Negan take over.

"Rick!" Someone behind him whispered. "You ready?" His southern drawl was almost a low growl as he held a crossbow in one hand ready to shoot if anything suspicious headed their way.

Rick nodded and walked to the rest of his group who waited to hear what the plan was. He gestured to the man that stood next to him. "Jesus has been inside this place. What's it like in there?" He asked him.

Jesus pointed in the far distance to Sanctuary. "They didn't have the mill when I was here last. If you look opposite of the mill on the other side of the fence, there is a library. The roof is too steep to have guards on it so we'll make our way inside through there. You said that's where your old group tried to escape. Right, Jason?" Jesus asked and looked to Jason with question.

"Yeah, there should already be an opening in the gate unless they replaced the fence." Jason said as he observed Sanctuary from a distance. "That would be our best bet to sneak in and out without too many people watching."

Jesus nodded his approval of the spot and continued. "Once inside, we'll take out the guards on the roofs next to the library. There are three places that I can think of that Carl would be. He is either in the court house where I was tortured, Negan's own house that is diagonal from the court house or he's inside the mill." He said.

"Michonne and I will cover the court house." The man with the crossbow said as he pointed to the woman with a katana in hand.

Jesus shook his head. "No. You need more people with you." He argued.

Rick looked to the other people in the group. "Half of you go into the court house and half of you go to the mill. I'll go to Negan's house alone." He said.

"Why on your own?" Michonne asked him quietly.

"We can't have too many people snooping around his house and we need as many people in the other two places. With just me, I can quickly get in and out." Rick reasoned.

Jesus shrugged. "He's right. We need the ones that are ready for a fight in the mill and the ones who are better at sneaking around in the court house."

Rick looked to the group and looked to a man who was attaching a silencer to his glock. "We'll split up. Half go to the mill and other half go to the court house." He said. Everyone nodded their approval of the plan and started preparing themselves for any upcoming battle.

"What about the gate?" A woman with short hair asked. "They'll know we're coming before we even get in." She sheathed a small knife that worked also as brass knuckles.

"Don't matter." The man with the crossbow said. "The fuckers have Carl."

She shook her head as she knew they were going to prepare mentally to kill or be killed.

Rick overlooked Sanctuary once more with displeasure. Since the apocalypse began, he had come across power hungry men but Negan was someone to contend with.

And he wasn't going down without a fight.

**AUTHOR'S NOTES – Well, that's a wrap! And here we have Daryl, Rick, Michonne, Paul, Carol and Richard to the rescue. People from the comics and TV series alike! I'm so excited to write book 3. I promise, things start getting happier in that book for both Sherry &amp; Dwight. Book 2 really tested them both and now it's time to give them that miracle that they have been hoping for. And that miracle is in the Alexandria Safe-Zone survivors! Hell yes!**

**I made a playlist for Many Hearts to Tread. This one is no different. I have also made a playlist for this. Enjoy!**

**The Soundtrack of Nothing Else Matters**

**Nothing Else Matters by Scala &amp; Kolacny Brothers**

**Ain't Gonna Drown by Elle King**

**I Found by Amber Run**

**One Way or Another by Until the Ribbon Breaks**

**Snowglobe Blizzard by Smoke Fairies**

**Your Day Will Come by Son Lux**

**Honey, It's Alright by Gregory Alan Isakov**

**The Loved Ones by Sanders Bohike**

**Alpenglow by S. Carey**

**Callow by Novo Amor**

**Til My Heart Stops by Too Far Moon**

**I really hope that you all liked Many Hearts to Tread and Nothing Else Matters. I have put my heart and soul into those books and had so much fun writing each of them. Keep your eyes out for Vessel (book 3). Follow me as an author so you get an email the second I post it! There will be an 18 month time gap in between Nothing Else Matters and Vessel.**


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